Someone please help me. I am so lost and no one can help me.

[killingbill]

Me and my boyfriend of 2 years just recently broke up a few months ago. I can't stop thinking about him. I love him so much but i don't know if he feels the same way. I have a feeling i can get him back but i don't know what to do.

He was seeing this guy for 2 months when i first started talking to him. He decided he didn't want to be in the relationship he was in and instead be with me. He left him and we dated for the next 2 years. He moved in after 6 months of dating. While we were dating he would always mention his boyfriend he was with before me and how much better he was at certain things. He knew i was jealous of him but he still stayed with me. We lived together for a year and a half and when we broke up, it wasn't pretty. It didn't end on a good note. So when it was made official we stopped talking to each other and he finally moves out. It was a big change for the both of us.

So last week he comes into my work and sits at one of my tables. I'm a server. He tells me that he found his ex boyfriend from before we started dating. He said he has been obsessing over finding him and finally succeeded. He told me they hung out and already had sex. He also tells me he still likes me.

I love him to death and want him back badly. He came to talk to me more about stuff and said he wants us both but he wants to give him a chance that he never gave him. I am so scared that he might like him more than me and i will lose him forever. What do i do?! I was thinking about writing a letter to his family, whom which i am very close with each and everyone of them, and a letter to him. But what do i say? I know i am better than this guy but he says he is better than me in other ways.

Please someone out there give me advice on what to do!

[sephirothtx]

ugh, i don't want to misjudge your bf, but it sounds like he dosen't even respect you, not one ounce.
if you love him i guess you should still pine for him, but search your feelings, is what he is doing to you fair? can you trust him after it? if not can you live with him with that ever nagging feeling that he'll do it again?

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Uh huh...he doesn't respect you. mate. ://// It will probably be better if you waited. Plus, you can never know if you are better than the other guy because your bf might fancy different things than you. So.. :/ But give it some time, okay? Don't show him that you are dying for him, play it cool. Make him want you more. But if things dont wotk out:



As for his family...don't talk to them just yet. Besides, they can't do much, it's his choice, right? Don't let what he telles you about the other guy get to you, I think he's just teasing you. :////

[marshlander]

Better? What does that actually mean? In relationship terms it is usually something very subjective.

Of course you are grieving for a relationship you thought you had, but if you did "get him back" what makes you think it will turn out any "better"?

I hope you stop hurting soon and can move into a happier headspace.

[Genersis]

Looks like he's trying to make you jealous.
It tends to mean they want YOU to go crawling back to them, begging for them back.

Or that he just wants to upset you.

Its hard to say which, only you can judge, as....you know....i don't actually know him.:redface:

So either he wants you back and is being an arse about it.
Or he's flat out being an arse.
So.....i guess he was a little nicer when you were together, right?:redface:
Sorry, i shouldn't joke. Your break up must of been pretty bad if this is how he's behaving.:frown:

[princealbertofb]

I'm going to think outside the box here for a minute:
I can only suggest that you have a threesome, or a three-way relationship, or that you agree to have an open relationship with this person. So it really is up to you to decide whether that is something you can cope with, or not. I did not get the impression that you were into open relationships, but maybe you need to sort out your priorities and discuss the rules between you two, if you are going to get back together.
It is difficult to live with people who are as undecided as your ex boyfriend but who want to leave their options open, and not have any limitations.
However, if you decide to go down that route, make sure he understands that him keeping his options open means you get to keep your options open too... It doesn't work just one way for his personal comfort. The day you find someone who satisfies your need for a relationship, safety, trust etc... you can opt out of the relationship with your ex and move in with the new partner. That's how it goes.
The thing is that you can't really restrain a man's liberty to roam. Either he'll tell you what he's up to, or he might be lying to you all the time (not a comfortable situation), so isn't it better to have it out in the open?
Again there are other things that come into the picture, such as where is he living? Who's paying for food and rent? etc... so you don't want to be burdened with all of it while he's having a good time with someone else... that must also be part of your "rules". Have them set in writing if there is a risk of some disagreement over the arrangements at some point.

[princealbertofb]

I'm also thinking that your ex saw you more as a fukc buddy than as a lover, so if you want to go back to being just that, maybe it's ok to keep the relationship going; Make sure he isn't just using you.

[Untraceable726]

Ok here's my two cents....i agree with everyone above....he came to talk to you to make you jealous. He wanted to see how you would react and try his very best to get a raise out of you. He did this to see if he still has a hold on you which from the sounds of it he knows he does. Honestly dude I know its going to be hard to accept but if he really wanted to be with you and really cared about you and what not his ex would be nothing but that...an ex. I know from experience dude that if your in love with someone and the feeling is mutual they usually only have eyes for you and no one else especially past boyfriends. I think what happened in his mind is he never did give that guy a chance and probably wanted to see what it would have been like with him. I don't mean to be a bad news messenger but i think he choose you at first because he couldn't stand that guy so he left him and now you two had a bad break up and he wants to go running back because he feels guilty. He sounds to me like he doesn't know what he wants and I would not go back with him because if he did this once already whats to say he wont do this again or worse several times behind your back .... Its tough when you break up but trust me take it as a lesson learned. There is plenty of guys out there and im sure if this one is not your prince charming that only means he is still out there waiting for you to find him. Keep your chin up.

[tarotjoe]

I would suggest learning to like yourself more. Then thinking the situation over.