hi!

[azulai]

Ok, well I just joined. I'm 20 and in school (mechanical engineering major). I have no gay friends that I know of and I guess I'm really confused right now.

I know I'm not sexually attracted to girls. Have know this for some time now. I think some women are beautiful dressed. Seeing them naked - nothing happens.

Meanwhile my collection of gay porn has grown. So, sometimes I don't think I'm confused at all. I just don't know if I could ever do anything.

I'm actually close with my dad and I really don't want to mess our relationship up. Sigh.

I'm not here looking for anything but friendship and information that might help me figure things out. Actually, I'm kind of freaked out that I registered. But, after the holidays and every relative asking if I had a girlfriend, I'm just exhausted.

I hope I don't sound too weird.

[XRIMO]

hello azulai and welcome to the forum. Don't worry about being confused, you are who you are. If you want to be in a relationship with a man or woman, its up to you to decide, so don't feel like we will pressure you. This place is full of great people ready to give you any advice you need.

So do you picture yourself in a relationship with a man? or are you just attracted to the male form?

[fenris]

Hi and Welcome :-)
and no .. you don´t sound weird

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Hi and welcome. :]

So it would be that much of a problem if you came out? (sorry if its something about your city, Im not that good with US geography) And, well, maybe if you give it some time it will become clear whether you can consider yourself gay or not.

[azulai]

Thanks for being so nice.
XRIMO - Thanks. I'm attracted to the male form. And, have pretty much avoided dating/relationships. I was reading recently somewhere about different attractions and it mentioned one could be emotionally attracted to a sex and yet not physically attracted to them, etc. I never thought about distinguishing. That's the stuff I want to research somewhat.

fenris - thanks, I appreciate that more than you know.

SlipknotRlZZ - thanks, I'm sorry I confused you over where I live. I was being stupid, that's not a real city I don't think. I was thinking of the Grinch Stole Christmas story because I was so pissed over the holidays. I was being cautious about being on the internet. I live in a northern state in the middle of the US. Again, I'm sorry.

[Ultra]

Hi! Welcome to GS! You're not weird at all, there's others going through similar situations.

[marshlander]

Hello. Welcome

If you have such a good relationship with your dad why do you think that will change if you tell him something he probably already knows anyway? Funny thing is my dad and I were talking about the different challenges people have about coming out this morning. He said, "I can't believe you thought I would think any less of you for being gay." I am a dad too and most dads would do anything to save their child from pain or help them bear a burden.

[matty7]

hi and welcome = happy to welcome u here , i know its hard coming to terms with been a bit diff but loads of people here to give advice,,,,,,ur not the first and your among like minded people m8

[fredv3b]

Welcome to GS!

It doesn't sound weird at all.

I just don't know if I could ever do anything.

Why do you say that?

[azulai]

Cutieboy, marshlander, matty7 and fredv3b - thanks for the welcome.

marshlander: I'm just not there yet. You have given me a pause for thought on this.

fredv3b: I've been thinking a lot about the emotional connection issue. I don't know why I'm so obsessed with this. I have been told I think too much, over think things. But, everything I read and my straight friends, at my age make me feel that I'm suppose to be all obsessed with sex and hook-ups and that's just not me. I mean I'm not uncomfortable about sex in my head/fantasies but I am so uptight in person. Can't you tell?

The other thing is I am so concerned about STDs and how do you really trust someone? I could not handle someone cheating on me.
And, watching porn one guy had obvious herpes scars on his upper thighs and I watched the entire thing but obsessed about that. #buzzkill

Last night I spent a ton of time in the Advice and Coming Out sections of the board and read about various comings out and many mentioned their parent(s) already knew. I kind of side-eyed everyone in my family this morning. But, all of the posts really hit home with me and wow, just thank you for having this place. I really do feel like most of you do understand and I'm not feeling so isolated anymore.

Also, is it ok to reply to a post that is a week old? I wanted to respond in a few but wasn't sure if that is cool or what.