Here's another monkey wrench....many of my gay friends who are in relationships (not all)....sleep around and all use the same excuse for the most part...im not hitched so I can sleep with who I want....what do you all think about that? Does being in a relationship still allow you to sleep with whoever you want and only have to commit to one partner once your married or...once your together your together physically and emotionally?
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Does it not rather depend on what you have committed yourself to? In some relationships the rule is to have an open relationship where having sex outside the relationship is not considered taboo. In others there is a commitment to monogamy and definitely not (or no longer) sowing your wild oats. In others still, there might be no commitment at all, but then is it a relationship?
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Also the reason that gays are 'not hitched' is because there is often no social setting for that to happen. So even if we did want to commit, we'd be unable to have that option. I'm not talking about all countries nor all states, but you know what I mean. The day that option exists, it might change things, but basically, humans being humans (and often pretty flawed) the likelihood of men being truly committed is probably as likely as in the straight community. I'd like to think that if some men (and women) are able to commit to abstinence (in cases of monks and nuns for example, or priests in the catholic church, or hermits in other instances) then it ought to be possible for gays, as well as straights to commit to one partner (at a time). For some people, this will never happen.
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I think if your going to be in a relationship your in a relationship thus taken away your right to taken away your right to sleep around, unless your in on of those open ended things which I don’t really get.
On the other side of it though coming at it form a bachelorhood point of view, has far as I’m concerned if I don’t see a ring everyone is fair game.
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Yes obviously we can not marry or commit legally yet but does it take something legal like that to change people into staying loyal to their partner? I still think it all has to do with the individual. I just watched a special on my local news about cheating and believe it or not they said women are like to cheat 20% of the time and men are more like to cheat at 50-60%...stunning but im not surprised.
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The special was based on heterosexual relationships I think...only because they did not specify. But yeah i guess it might take something drastic to commit people to a one on one relationship.
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I think that human beings are incredibly dishonest with themselves and each other and we all pretty much support this dishonesty...questioning it is often met with hostility.
I don't think people ask themselves enough tough questions...
I know so many people who are in a relationship SOLELY because they think the other person is "hot" ...if this is the foundation of a relationship you will reap what you sow and very few people like it when this is pointed out to them.
A side note....
When I was interested in someone and I knew I would get the "best behavior" from them...I had them drive me somewhere...and I watched CLOSELY. Do you cut people off? tailgate them?...do you weave in and out of traffic because you need to get somewhere and put other people''s lives at risk because you are too lazy and self centered to understand they might want to live? There are wonderful lessons there...if someone is arrogant enough to think they have the right to take others people lives into their hands and have no respect for other people at all...this can be seen quite clearly when they drive. It is hardly an "accident" if you are driving 90MPH and weaving in and out of traffic...I think it is murder and instead of an accident I call them a "purposeful act of negligence"...cell phone driving and texting? WTF?... I would never be with anyone who had that little respect for other people's lives and I declined to date many fine men after driving with them once. If I did ignore the signs I would expect to have this same lack of basic respect directed at me...unaccpetable...and if I ignore this behavior and then decide to whine about it and make myself a victim it would be on me...not them. People take far too little responsibility for their own actions.
If you don't like cheating...same lessons there...check yourself and the other person for signs of respect or lack thereof. I rarely see victims on either side in the cheating relationships...I do see dishonesty on both sides as a rule rather than an exception......just sayin':biggrin:
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hmmmm that's a lesson that needed to be heard, East. Thank you for your insight...
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Interesting way of looking at it. Very interesting hmmmmm
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Monkey wrench!?
