is he?

[SlipknotRlZZ]

I think you should give him another chance and see what happens. Maybe he will want to come out, maybe he won't. Maybe he is after a quck shag, maybe he isn't. You can always back out before it's too late... :]

[Mr. Not So Lonely]

Just a small bit of advice I have a rule NEVER NEVER date anyone who i work with.
I found out it can cause big problems at work.
I suggest you keep it professional and that's all.
and let him know this up front.

[FieryJoker!!!]

I've went in today and afterwards we've just went out for dinner and we came to the conclusion that he isn't ready for a relationship but wants the benefits of one. So unfortunately I'm not taking this any further.

I told him I liked him alot and that if he is ever ready to give it a try then tell me. So were now friends and thats how its going to stay for the time being.

Thanks for the advice but I was prepared to be used for when he has half a pint down him and wants to hook up no matter how fun.

[princealbertofb]

You do need to preserve yourself and your sanity, FieryJoker, so keeping the polite friendly distance is what you can do best right now. It is not uncommon for the initiator of a gay man to be dismissed later on. The initiator acts as a catalyst in that he can show the novice the ropes and make him see some things about himself that he didn't know before. However, like quite a few first times, they may satisfy a certain curiosity, but they don't develop quite so naturally into a relationship. I suppose it's a bit like being f*ck buddies. It's pleasant, and fun, but it doesn't fill that emotional void. In this situation, you've both had fun enjoying the intimacy, he's found out that he can do intimacy with another man, but his brain and heart are probably not ready to admit it. As we cannot get into anyone's skin nor know all the details that make them act this way or that, it's rather a losing battle to try and press things on. The only thing you can do now, if you are still interested in him as a human being, and as a friend, is to be there for him when he eventually finds out that he can come out, or needs to come out. He may also take rather a long time in the process, or maybe never be able to come out at all... You are quite clearly at another stage of your emotional development, so you need to concentrate on what you need in your life right now. A quick shag doesn't seem to fulfil that need, apparently, so if it's hurting you more than it is giving you peace of mind, don't indulge him.

[fredv3b]

I told him I liked him alot and that if he is ever ready to give it a try then tell me.

Sounds very wise to me.