Story: The Fire of Hearts Chapter 2

[xxxj1985xxx]

cancelled...

[toomuch45]

wooo this time travel stuff has gotton me confused:confused:

are they going backwards or are they going fowards

[XRIMO]

I'll be honest, I'm having a little trouble following. I think you need to expand more on your writing. In your first chapter, rather than list out your characters and their traits, find a more creative way to know them, have them meet for the first time and each of them get to know each other.

There is not much build up to what you are going for. Take your time and give more suspense to the events.

[xxxj1985xxx]

Hi,
Thanks for the feedback. Sry about confusing you, and Well, they were supposed to be hired to go back into time to fix whatever stuff got messed up. But as often with life what was supposed to happen often does't lol.
The Romance stuff doesn't really happen until the middle of the story. Starting in Chapter 4. You'll get the story once I post the other chapters more, hopefully lol.
I had to figure out how they meet without copying exactly from the real events that this story is based off of. So that's why I created the action/sci-fi scences to try to help explain that lol.
Oh and I created those other characters to kill them off quickly as a funny twist lol.