is it ok?

[Mike]

Okay, here's a different take on this. I'm currently living in Fiji as a peace corps volunteer along with several other volunteers, a couple of whom are African American. Fijians, without any intent of being mean because they don't understand the historical context of the word, call African Americans the 'n' word. It still hurts for my fellow volunteers to hear and be called that.

So although we've lived here long enough to know Fijians are great people, certain words regardless of the intent of when they're spoken remain powerful knives to the soul.


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Well, I think people who know other people mean no harm, should not be offended, and if they are, they should tell them, "educate" them, 'cause otherwise they will never know.

And it IS a different perspective, which makes me think - maybe I shouldn't use those words on the street, when others may get offended.

[Vikta]

Well, I think people who know other people mean no harm, should not be offended, and if they are, they should tell them, "educate" them, 'cause otherwise they will never know.

And it IS a different perspective, which makes me think - maybe I shouldn't use those words on the street, when others may get offended.

I agree. We do what we can when we can.

But perhaps it doesn't matter... i could educate every Fijian about why the 'n' word is hurtful to some people, but they'll likely continue to use it because they never intended it to be hurtful.

It's just food for thought ;-)


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[piefolk]

I'm a comic, and I use the words fag, and faggot, and a lot of other 'homo-phobic' stuff in my comedy all the time. I sometimes get angry when straight comics use that language, though. But, only if it's not funny to me. If it's funny, they can get away with it, I guess.

You have to decide how you feel about it, and why, and then you won't worry about it anymore. Words can only be as hurtful as we let them.

[stu]

Words aren't homophobic people are. If it's OK for a gay man to use certain words and not for a straight man isn't that discrimination in it's self?

[The Virgin]

personally? for as long as the intentions are all good, i don't see nothing wrong.

[fredv3b]

Several people have implied it isn't homophobic if it's not intended to be. Is it homophobic if the speaker did not intend it to be but the listener regards it as homophobic? Discuss..

[TimmyThink]

Like I said that's there problem not mine.

I guess it's more about knowing your who your talking to and how sensitive they are. Some people just don't like cursing and such, so if know know the person I'm talking to doesn't like the word I'll try not to say it. Though i can't guaranty I won't let one slip in the heat of conversation.

[East]

My best friend growing up was Chinese and during his Asian studies class in college he had to go to this Chinese Theatre production in Japantown (yes...it was Chinese theatre in Japantown:biggrin in San Francisco and I went with him and one of the pieces had an enormous impact on me changed me forever. It featured this little tiny girl who came out and was very meek and mild and had a dialogue about how she lived to satisfy men...traditional stuff...and all of a sudden she ripped off her traditional garments and she went all commando and donned a machine gun and started ranting about being called "Oriental" and she made her point..using the term "oriental" objectified her...she was A S I A N :biggrin:

Subsequently I realized it bothered some people and other people did not care but I only use the term Asian now because I do not wish to objectify anyone.

I use this story as an example of how I feel about words and whether or not they offend people. I don't think there is a right answer...if you have at least considered the impact your words have and it is OK with you...then rock on. Whether you use offensive terms or don't use them will be about who you are and you gotta be Ok with who you are.

[Ryan De Soto]

Heh... Those words are just words, and from that angle the questions is "why are they being used at the exclusion of other words?"

Personally, I think those words are more useful for shock value, and try to not use them unless the situation calls for it (such as when someone calls me a faggot, I tell them it's MR Faggot to them).

Then again, what we say among friends differs greatly from what we say among strangers. There are many aspects to communication.

[The Virgin]

Several people have implied it isn't homophobic if it's not intended to be. Is it homophobic if the speaker did not intend it to be but the listener regards it as homophobic? Discuss..

it's all a matter of understanding, really. people should learn when to scale whether a comment is homophobic or not, racist or not, sexist or not. if you have a problem with the way a person is addressing you (say, calling you faggot and what not), then it's your duty to speak up to that person and tell him/her you're not comfortable with that. and besides, to each is own. if one wants to call gays 'puff' (especially when it's not intended to be in a negative way), no problem. it's up to the person actually.