is it ok?

[jamiebfd]

I think it is possible to be unintentionally homophobic.

i agree

thanks for all the different replies to this thread. its obvious i need to choose the people i need to sensitive around to make sure nobody is offended.
some friends dont mind and some do.
thanks

[East]

I've found myself using those words in a context that don't have anything to do with homosexuality here and there and I hear it all the time from others. It doesn't phase me nor does it offend or bother me. Getting mad or upset over it when it isn't describing anything that has to do with me seems a bit over the top.

Sometimes I think that people look for things to find offensive. To each their own I guess.

The number of gay teen suicides is what is really over the top. These words contribute to a general climate..a climate alot of people find impossible to even live in and that is tragic. I find the lack of sensitivity to other people offensive actually.

[simon]

If its not meant in a homophobic way, its not homophobic. Some people may not appreciate being called "poofs" but thats something that you should judge on an individual basis.



You mean that the word "gay" is being used to describe something that is "stupid" or "silly".

Now, I dont see much of a problem. Words that are the same sounding and spelling CAN mean different things. For example, a bat which flies through the air and a bat that you hit a ball with.

As far as I'm concerned, when someone says that something is gay when they mean that something is stupid, thats a perfectly legitimate term to use. Its a different word. It doesnt do homosexuals much damage and homos have got to learn not to be so damn sensitive about everything.

that makes no sense at all,a bat can be as you say either the flying or hitting kind,the difference when gay is used to mean "stupid" or "bad"is just because of the gay connection and because is relations to how some people view gay people,if it didnt have any connection to gay people then why use that word,gay people by some are seen to be bad,stupid and all the rest of it,if we changed the word to black or packie then it would be right to cause a fuss but using gay is being "sensitive" as you put it.

[Pseudo Rob]

My point was the way a statement was intended and the way it is taken are too different things. I think it is possible to be unintentionally homophobic.

Yeah, I guess I agree to a certain extent. Do you think that applies in this case though?

[simon]

I've found myself using those words in a context that don't have anything to do with homosexuality here and there and I hear it all the time from others. It doesn't phase me nor does it offend or bother me. Getting mad or upset over it when it isn't describing anything that has to do with me seems a bit over the top.

Sometimes I think that people look for things to find offensive. To each their own I guess.

words get their meaning and how we understand what a word means, not only from the context that word is used but from imagery and history and sound and feeling,you say you write and it's a big part of you life so I am surprised that you would think a word can be used separate of it's context,some poems on the face of it make no sense whats so ever but it's only when the words used are given life though the imagery and history etc is when the words stop becoming just words but relate to us in many different way.

[fredv3b]

Yeah, I guess I agree to a certain extent. Do you think that applies in this case though?

Sorry which case are you referring to?

[Pseudo Rob]

Sorry which case are you referring to?

The original posters.

[fredv3b]

If it was said to me or about me I would regard it as homophobic, but on the other hand, it wasn't said to or about me.

[jbrowder24]

New here and was referred to this thread....

I think if a person knows you're gay and is obviously joking around with you, you should have a sense of humor. For example, I made reference to a friend's backdoor (literally, to a home), and then a knowing gay jokes was made. I laughed.

But in other cases, we shouldn't just be like, "oh it's okay." That's not being oversensitive... that's realizing that if we just let comments be made, it makes it all too easy for the real bigots to buy into a sense of prejudice. Look at comedy films aimed at young males or shows like South Park... they may be funny, but how many comments and jokes are there at our expense? How many terms are there like a-- pirate, c---s-cker, brown eye, etc.?

Some of it may depend on where we are too - perhaps in the UK its more lax. But in the US, I don't think it's okay for these terms to be used. There will always of course be the cases where it's never okay; when it's obvious it's filled with hate as someone gets yelled at then beat for example. But right now, we're fighting for gay marriage rights in so many states where people keep comparing homosexuality to things like beastiality and pedophilia. How can we be like, "oh comments like that are okay," when they support the idea of gays as some sort of second class not deserving of the same rights?

I'm not saying to attack everyone that says things. People slip up. As someone said earlier, if we don't like it, then let's try our best to educate. I know one of my good friends had to work at not saying 'that's so gay' anymore, but I was glad she did because, intent aside, it does attach a negative connotation to being gay. Somebody mentioned comedians - yes, okay, let's laugh at ourselves. Sometimes it is okay to let loose.

But in general... I don't like the terms, and won't at least until I'm treated as equal.

[Bookworm]

I have to say that personally, I don't like the way the term gay is used to imply something that is not quite right or wrong in someones view (that jacket is so 'gay' or that car is so 'gay' or 'your' so gay etc...)
I can see that, indirectly, most folks using these terms do not intentionally mean to slander gay people and it is mostly said in jest between kids/teenagers for the most part; that being said, I do feel such terminology could subconsciously attach a stigma to that individuals perceptions of gay people in general, and unwittingly perpetuate a negative bias.