No to anal - is he really gay?

[princealbertofb]

you are definitely right ... :-)
I think it just a pity that so many people think that anal is the highest top of the mountain they can reach with sex..... the biggest sexual-organ is the brain... and it is mostly only used before they have sex... you know ... Head-cinema ... but when they have the possibilitys... the are going straight and only to anal ... and a fast orgasm...
But there are so many way ... many better ways.... and only a few people use there own possibilitys.

Yes, maybe we need Fenris's world of Fantastic Gay Sex (you should write a book! ) and you are right that if you think that anal sex is going to get you off faster and quicker, you've got another thought coming. It doesn't work that way, certainly not for everybody... and yes, again you are right, Fenris, the brain is the biggest sex organ... So it's mostly to do with how our brains process the ideas of pain, pleasure, disgust and plenitude... so to each his / her own.

[princealbertofb]

Thanks so much for all the replies so far! If anything, he is more into anal than me - I'd be happy whatever - but he usually ends up wanting to do me. I really love it (he has always been a very sensitive and gentle lover) and he certainly gets to know how good it makes me feel (usually pretty hard to hide - lol). I think it is pyschological with him so I guess it is just wating for him to get more curious....

I guess Cutieboy is right too tho - maybe I should find someone more versatile???

I think there is also a lot of cultural baggage that goes with anal sex... especially in some countries where being the receiver is a total No No... so it goes with the cultural territory as much as it goes with the level of sex education, curiosity, desire and physical comfort. For all people who've tried it, you'll find those who have not wanted to try it again, and those who would not be loved otherwise. It's a very personal matter. Believe it or not, there are straight couples who are so comfortable with sex without penetration (maybe ignorance too) that they wonder why they've never managed to conceive and have a family. It just goes to show that penetrating someone else's body does not necessarily come with the territory even though most of us would find the idea (and the way, as males) quite natural(ly).

As for finding a partner that is more versatile, AliMat, I think you'd better consider it seriously (I mean, not on a whim). Talk it out with your partner and see if it is really something that is endangering your partnership first. I don't think it would be fair to him not to give him a chance to come around if this means so much to you. It really depends on how curious YOU are to discover the joys of topping, or, if you aready know what it feels like, how much you miss topping as well as bottoming. He'll need to understand that your sex drive requires both, in that case.

[alfvel]

Not all men like anal sex, some see it as dominating or being dominated. Others see it as being treated as a woman (most men, even most gays don't like that at all). Others are scared of health consequences.

[golsa]

Like others have said some of it cultural.

In Brazil (and maybe Portugal), a top is never seen as gay, but the bottom is considered gay. He may have a problem accepting his sexuality and uses a similar rationalization.

[daviondknight]

OK been together with my boyfriend since last summer. I never even knew he was gay, so he made all the first moves when we got together which was kinda nice! The problem is even though he gives me oral and anal (very nicely) he won't ever recieve anally... It's really not a big issue for me I just think he's a bit hung up over this and accepting his sexuality. I just wonder whether he really is gay? I felt sooooo good after I first had anal, I just want him to feel the same and not miss out... Any thoughts / similar experiences?

Yeah. I agree with them. Some don't want to be bottomed. They prefer always being the top.

[The Virgin]

maybe he's scared that it may hurt.