his mum hates me!!!

[jamiebfd]

been with my fella nearly 4 years now. ive always got on well with his family untill about 2 week ago when we had an argument. i was really drunk and said some silly things directed at his mum and brothers.
he told his mother about it and now im not allowed at his house because he lives at hers. today when he got home from work she was arrogant and ignorant toward him because he wants to stay with me and still see me.

being a gentleman i have refused to be a wedge between him and his family and told him if her views dont change i will have to leave him.
im simply not prepared to be responsible for a mother and son breakup.

she wont talk to me to accept an apology or hear me out. i know i was an idiot that night but she knows me and knows i have a kind heart and would never hurt her or her family.

i really love my fella and it is 100% true love, not infactuation or lust. i dont want to break up with him so i need help fast please. otherwise i will have to be a man and walk away to save his family relations.

he wont move out of his mums either to live with me so thats another reason it wouldnt work because im not allowed to see him at his house.
he can only come to mine on weekends because he works. i dont want a weekend relationship!!!

any advice please

[matty7]

"being a gentleman i have refused to be a wedge between him and his family and told him if her views dont change i will have to leave him."

your forcing him to choose you or his family if you tell him that - dont put that on his shoulders m8 - i dont think ultimatums work always,,,you made some drunken comments and his mother is hurt so she's fighting back in her way...you've been accepted by his family for the last 4 years so this one mistake should not be the thing that destroys all that....stick with the appologies if you can, maybe even go as far as write a letter to his mother accepting you were in the wrong, after 4 years you must love each other so a bit of groveling and loss of face should be worth baring...give her a bit of space and time and then work on building bridges - Good luck anyway

[fenris]

I agree with matty ... write a letter...and send her maybe some flowers or so. This is the best way to reach her and show that you did something wrong ...

[fredv3b]

I agree with Matty too, write a letter. Swallow all your pride, admit you were wrong. Gently point out that the chief person hurt by your falling out it your boyfriend, someone you both care very much about.

[FieryJoker!!!]

I think the problem is that it can take a life time to build up trust but a moment to ruin anything. You need to earn her respect once again. Regardless of what you think of her, she is the mother of the Man you love. Get yourself in her good books and I'm sure everything will sort itself out.

[jamiebfd]

well ive sent her a text telling her im sorry and i know i was a c**t.
she has asked for me not to go up for 1 month so she can decide wether to trust me in her home again.
fingers crossed for me peeps

[princealbertofb]

Looks like it's going to have to be a weekend relationship after all... Are you ready to put up with it? Good luck with the waiting. Hope you are a patient man.

[posterpicture]

Send her flowers. Always work

[marshlander]

well ive sent her a text telling her im sorry and i know i was a c**t.
she has asked for me not to go up for 1 month so she can decide wether to trust me in her home again.
fingers crossed for me peeps

Fingers crossed then, jamiebfd, specially since that wasn't exactly a bunch of flowers, a beautiful hand-made card and a heartfelt, handwritten sentiment. My, how times change!

[jamiebfd]

lol. well my fella told me she wasnt prepared to listen or accept an apology so i sent a txt first to get a reaction.
im probs going to go for the card and flowers option next though.
thanks for the advice everyone xx