Worst way to come out? Post yours here.

[Beaux]

Now that's a classical FARCE situation to be in. I hope you were not ashamed...???

I had some serious shame issues for a while. I went through a masoganistic stage where I shifted the blame to my wife (You made me gay! lol) and I really had a lot of self hatred too. It took me a few years to really find myself, years moving around from city to city looking for something but didnt know what. In the end self acceptance came but it was a slow process. I am happier now than I was but it can be hard to let go of ones illusions and just be.

[cry0s]

I can somewhat relate to Beaux in this situation, but my story isn't nearly as exciting. I was married for 10 years before her and I decided to separate (long long story). I moved into my own home and finally realized that maybe it was okay for me to start being true to these feelings that had plagued me since my early teenage years. Long story short, I had a secret gay myspace, she found it, and sent me a text about it. My world came to a standstill and I felt frozen in time. I didn't know what to do.

Obviously, I was mortified, but that started a chain of events that allowed me to finally be out in the open without worry. I still don't openly announce it during regular conversation, because I find that ridiculous, but don't deny it either if I'm asked. On an even brighter side, her and I are best friends now a days and I'm lucky to have children.

[princealbertofb]

If you want the correct spelling, Beaux, it is actually misogynistic, for clarity's sake... But I know what you must have felt.

[princealbertofb]

I can somewhat relate to Beaux in this situation, but my story isn't nearly as exciting. I was married for 10 years before her and I decided to separate (long long story). I moved into my own home and finally realized that maybe it was okay for me to start being true to these feelings that had plagued me since my early teenage years. Long story short, I had a secret gay myspace, she found it, and sent me a text about it. My world came to a standstill and I felt frozen in time. I didn't know what to do.

Obviously, I was mortified, but that started a chain of events that allowed me to finally be out in the open without worry. I still don't openly announce it during regular conversation, because I find that ridiculous, but don't deny it either if I'm asked. On an even brighter side, her and I are best friends now a days and I'm lucky to have children.

Yes children can be a blessing... Nice that your wife finally understood and let you go.

[Beaux]

If you want the correct spelling, Beaux, it is actually misogynistic, for clarity's sake... But I know what you must have felt.

Thx for the correct spelling, but just cause I am gay doesnt mean that I am anal.
I can live with imperfection.

[lokilol]

But once you've told your mum (like the most important person ever to tell), you'll find it gets easier... Now about telling your dad, that might be tricky (in your situation).

Yup I know its getting easier, Im not worried about my family in Iceland, its the other crowd that worries me, then again what they dont know wont hurt them

But still I'm thankful to be in an accepting society and if for some reason if my Jordanian family and friends cannot accept me I know I can find sanctuary on this beautiful rock :biggrin:

[colinmackay]

I don't have any "worst" way story because I think I was one of the more sensible ones... Get dragged into a gay bar by a gay friend and come clean about it at 2AM in the morning.

However, in the month or so leading up to that event when I knew I had to say something to someone I almost blurted it out a few times.

On one occasion my Dad was interrogating me on when he was getting grandchildren from me because my sister's child didn't have the right surname. I got as far as telling him to "Phuq off" and then stopped, but it was so close.

A few days before I came out I was being made fun of by the wife of a colleague for making a jaw dropping motion in the direction of a bar maid in the pub we were in. I genuinely have difficulty breathing through my nose sometimes and I just needed some air, but she wouldn't buy that excuse and I almost blurted out, "I was not gawking at the bar maid because I'm gay!"

[James]

An open letter
Hi mom, dad, I need to talk to you but it's hard because I don't know how you will react and I don't want to hurt you. I remember being little and how you would take care of me and reassure me when I fell off my bike or the monsters in the closet and under the bed would scare me. I remember the encouragement you gave me when I would try new things and how you would help me with my school work when I didn't understand, patiently guiding me so I may succeed not only in school but in life. You both have cared so much and been my friends longer than anyone else I know. You always let me be myself and I hope that you still want that for me.
I guess what I am trying to say is I am still that same person, that you loved and cared for, and I love you and need you in my life just as much as I always have, maybe more. I remember the smiles, the laughter, and the closeness that only family can have. Your both very special to me and I wouldn't hurt you for anything in the world. I need your guidance and your patiance again, to help me through one more trial, please try and keep an open mind.
I am gay, I'm sorry I don't know how else to tell you, please don't cry or be mad, please. I understand if you hate me, I have hated myself for so long, I hurt inside so much, but I know that there is no way to change the way I feel, the way I am. I am so sorry for putting you through this, maybe this was a mistake, maybe I should just go, maybe it should just end. I wish I was little again.

This is what I wrote and felt when I was 14 and actually already outed, it almost caused blood shed and did have me on the streets for months, Jim

[NorCalE34]

My best friend (from 2005-2008) hit hard times, And I let him move in with me... Over time, My parents began to get suspicious since we shared a bed and I was quite protective of him. Over the 9 month period I began to fall in love with him, One night I got touchy in my sleep and he woke up at some point and confronted me the next morning, Asking if I was gay. After afew weeks of him trying to pull me out of the closet I finally gave in on the basis that he told me he was Bi and had been with a few guys before.

He coaxed me into telling my mom... She was ok with it, but not sold, thinking i was just Bi-curious... My dad was ok with it but didn't really have the sit down talk like I did with my mom, Except when I was riding with him somewhere he told me about liking someone that didn't like you. When my friend began to get the hint that I liked him he turned his attention to my younger sister who was on the rebound from ending a long relationship... I told him I loved him and in return he tried harder to get my younger sister (at some point about this time we slept together). He finally got his wish, then dumped her a week later... I said no more of THEM, He took it as a challenge and got her to date him again... after a fight and a police escort from my house (we didn't get physical, we just got stupid [or I did]) he left... To not be heard from again until easter last year wanting to get back with me, then backed out of that the following weekend.

[Beaux]

My best friend (from 2005-2008) hit hard times, And I let him move in with me... Over time, My parents began to get suspicious since we shared a bed and I was quite protective of him. Over the 9 month period I began to fall in love with him, One night I got touchy in my sleep and he woke up at some point and confronted me the next morning, Asking if I was gay. After afew weeks of him trying to pull me out of the closet I finally gave in on the basis that he told me he was Bi and had been with a few guys before.

He coaxed me into telling my mom... She was ok with it, but not sold, thinking i was just Bi-curious... My dad was ok with it but didn't really have the sit down talk like I did with my mom, Except when I was riding with him somewhere he told me about liking someone that didn't like you. When my friend began to get the hint that I liked him he turned his attention to my younger sister who was on the rebound from ending a long relationship... I told him I loved him and in return he tried harder to get my younger sister (at some point about this time we slept together). He finally got his wish, then dumped her a week later... I said no more of THEM, He took it as a challenge and got her to date him again... after a fight and a police escort from my house (we didn't get physical, we just got stupid [or I did]) he left... To not be heard from again until easter last year wanting to get back with me, then backed out of that the following weekend.

Wow dude that sucks, I gotta feel for ya on that one.