Am I a slut?
02-11-2011, 07:03 AM
Okay, this is a bit weird. A little background first. When I was 19 I came out at 21 I went back in the closet and got married and had two kids. When my ex-wife asked for a divorce 4 years ago I said "Oh, thank God!" and came out again :-)
Now to the point. During my 16 years of marriage I became sort of... let's say "used to" straight sex. I am a very sexual person and can become aroused with just a thought or suggestion. This made it possible for me to function with a woman sexually. Well, that and LOTS of fantasizing! Anyway, now that I am divorced and single I have straight female friends like many gay men do and like many gay men, my female friends tend to flirt with me. Several have taken it to the extreme of trying to seduce me. I find it flattering and love the attention, but it really doesn't interest me at all.
Still, if they persist I begin to feel that rejecting them sexually is going to make them feel bad or insecure so sometimes, I say yes. Again, there is no attraction on my part. I don't want to sleep with them nor would I pursue sex with a woman otherwise. Emotionally for me it's kind of a non-issue. I mean I can go through the motions after 16 years of practice and it's really no big deal. Also they seem to feel great afterwards as if they have accomplished some great conquest which makes me happy.
So far it's only happened a few times (with different female friends) and with one exception none of them have seemed to have gotten too emotionally attached.
I sort of compare it to straight female porn stars who learn to have sex with women and then sort of become desensitized to it. I will resist for awhile because it's not something I really want to do but if push comes to shove I'll go there.
All this being said, my question is: Am I just a slut? Or are my fence jumping ego boosting (for them) romps just a way to make people I care about feel good? Is it even a bad thing? To have sex with someone whom I have no sexual attraction for?
Now to the point. During my 16 years of marriage I became sort of... let's say "used to" straight sex. I am a very sexual person and can become aroused with just a thought or suggestion. This made it possible for me to function with a woman sexually. Well, that and LOTS of fantasizing! Anyway, now that I am divorced and single I have straight female friends like many gay men do and like many gay men, my female friends tend to flirt with me. Several have taken it to the extreme of trying to seduce me. I find it flattering and love the attention, but it really doesn't interest me at all.
Still, if they persist I begin to feel that rejecting them sexually is going to make them feel bad or insecure so sometimes, I say yes. Again, there is no attraction on my part. I don't want to sleep with them nor would I pursue sex with a woman otherwise. Emotionally for me it's kind of a non-issue. I mean I can go through the motions after 16 years of practice and it's really no big deal. Also they seem to feel great afterwards as if they have accomplished some great conquest which makes me happy.
So far it's only happened a few times (with different female friends) and with one exception none of them have seemed to have gotten too emotionally attached.
I sort of compare it to straight female porn stars who learn to have sex with women and then sort of become desensitized to it. I will resist for awhile because it's not something I really want to do but if push comes to shove I'll go there.
All this being said, my question is: Am I just a slut? Or are my fence jumping ego boosting (for them) romps just a way to make people I care about feel good? Is it even a bad thing? To have sex with someone whom I have no sexual attraction for?
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