Ultra serious!!!!! Plz help

[Anonymous]

PLZZZ help.
my sister an best ever friend are a couple and been together for 9 years since high school.
they have 3 childs and seem very happy.

at the weekend i went to the clubs with my best friend and we had a wonderfull night drinking untill......
i saw him kissing another girl and they walked off behind some building for ten minutes.
it is clear what they was doing!!!!!

he knows that i know because i confronted him that night.
he is begging me to say nothing because it was a mistake and he loves my sister very much and doesnt want to spoil the family. it was the first time he ever saw that other girl and it was drunk fun only.

now i feel sooo stuck... do i tell my sister? do i forget about it for the sake of her family.
will that mean he do it again if i say nothing.

i know he never did it before too. should i give him the benefit of doubt???

i feel blood is thicker than water... but i dont want to ruin my sisters family

[seeking]

if i were u...i won't tell definitely

if what u said is right....he did it just because of drunk and he is not into that girl and he didn't do that be4....and is not probably to do it again.....i am definitely not tell.

Coz once u tell, even though ur sister forgive him this time...sth still cracks between them
then ur sister trust ur friend less than be4....and may doubt him more in the future...that's definitely not good for their relationship and the family

i would keep it if i were u......unless he continue to do it again and again....only when this happen may make telling your sister this move take into consideration

personal idea

[fenris]

Hard to say .... normally I would say be honest ... because it relates your sister, or tell him he should say it. But if you think the problems for your Family and your sisters family are bigger if you ( or he ) tell the truth then I wouldn´t say anything. But tell him clear that - if he does it again - you will not keep the secret.

Its a bad situation for you because you are in the bad situation that - if he decides some day to tell the truth - you must tell your sister why you have not told her the truth. And this Situation can make more problems for you as for him.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Well, don't tell. This time. If you have suspect something of the kind again at some point in the future and your suspicions confirm, then tell her.

[stu]

Ask your sister what she would do in a similar situation, then do that.

[jamiebfd]

keep an eye on him. make sure he doesnt do it again.
1 mistake in nine years is actually a good record lol.
im sure he regrets it if what you say about their family is true.

like someone said though... if he decides to tell her later on you will have to explain why you didnt tell her.
try telling your friend this....
if she finds out keep my name out of it.
dont tell her you knew.

[simon]

well I would think if this is the first time he has went with another woman then the chances are he did not have a condom on him at the time,if he will sleep with someone with his partners brother there, I bet it's not the first time he has done it and how will you know if he does it again,you may feel bad if you tell her but how will you feel if she gets an STD or he gets another girl pregnant.

[East]

Oh man...I hate that...have been in similar situations and given it alot of thought and it is a very tough situation to be in.

If you don't tell your sister and she finds out later that you knew it can get ugly and trying to explain why you chose silence will most likely fall on deaf ears...

If you tell your sister the guy might do a manipulative trip on her and you might end up being the proverbial messenger who gets shot...

The solution I have taken is to pretend I didnt' see anything and also with this one jerk I bluffed him and told him if he didnt' tell her I would.....you could try that but truly once you are in their relationship on that level it is bad news.

I really hate this scenario ( I have been in this situation alot)...there are really no easy answers that I could ever find. I feel for you and wish you luck with whatever course you take.

[Genersis]

I'd only tell the sister if:
1) She asked me if anything was up.(No point hiding it if she has a feeling somethings up. Though this probably isn't a good idea...i was never one for lying to someones face.:redface
2) He does something stupid AGAIN.(I'd give the guy warning before hand, as it should hopefully deter him."I'll let it slide this time, but if you do something stupid like that again I'm going to tell her")

Though Easts probably right. You should get your friend to tell her. Even if it comes down to threatening to do it yourself. As YOU shouldn't be punished for what HE did.(Even if he'd still get most of the stick)
But its up to you when you should present him with this ultimatum. You could give him another chance if you wish.

[Dark Angel]

I think she has a right to know :/ but I wouldnt tell her, I'd try and get the dude to tell her.