Stereotyping the 'MAN' In the gay realtionship

[simon]

A gay relationship is a relationship between a Man and a MAN.:tongue:

Dale Winton and Graham Norton :biggrin:

[invis85]

I agree with Virgin. It's not about the sex organs when a person refers himself as the 'man' of the relationship. MistahJay's friend must be referring to his being a man in traditional role in the relationship. Paying the bills, opening the door for his date, fix the plumbing, making big decisions, etc... When you hear someone refers himself as being "man of the house" in a straight marriage, I think the same thing is associated with what MistahJay's friend referring to.

Being Asian, Chinese is still very strong in gender role. I admit I somewhat stereotyped myself into a "girl". Generally I am more passive, letting my man make the decisions, relying my man to help me with the heavy duty stuff, letting my man drive...etc...

[AtomicBaum]

I definitely agree with the gay relationship between a man and a man thing. But there certainly are gender roles prevalent in society today. The person who cooks, cleans, even better if he prefers to bottom, will typically be considered to be the "woman." Even if he is very much so a male. To me, it's just another label in a society in which we are obsessed with labels. Kinda like when people say they're "talking." Which really means "we're kinda dating and I like him, but I don't wanna say we're SERIOUS."

Personally, I think a relationship has a better chance of success if they're AREN'T gender roles and labels. At least one's applied by the couple themselves.

[invis85]

I just remember I've a few years ago read a book about gay relationships called "Dynamic Duos: The Alpha/Beta Key to Unlocking Success in Gay Relationships".

So the book says a relationship with an alpha male and a beta male works best among all other pairings (ie: alpha/alpha, beta/beta). Alpha male in general case is the more dominant one in the relationship and it resembles the stronger partner of the relationship. Words to describe alpha males resemble those of "man" in terms of traditional gender role. Whereas beta males are more passive and nurturing, the softer partner of the relationship. Words to describe beta males resemble those of "woman" in terms of traditional gender role.

Of course not everything a partner does in a relationship resembles gender role. It's just a general idea, or as many of you said, a label. I guess people should not just label, and instead should use more proper term to describe their role. Such as "i am the DOMINANT one in the relationship" instead of "i am the MAN". Or better yet, MisterJay's friend should describe himself as "i am the ALPHA of the the relationship"...or whatever lol

[JamieMadrox]

In a way, one could argue that in a relationship there is always one who is more "manly" that the other, seeing as we are all different. That is different, however, that being "the man" and "the woman", which is a little bit too easy.

[DOMITIAN]

I agree with U, LatinoAmor:
U R both men. Perhaps he means he wants to B the "Boss" in the relationship? Or does he mean he wants only 2B the "Top". Does he expect U to act like some kind of girl ? ? ? I simply reject the idea of one of the partners being the "man".

Now, having said that, I have experienced secretive relationships with married/bi men who insisted that the relationship stay strictly sexual, and never emotional, in nature. These were satisfying relationships in their own way, but neither completely healthy nor "equal" in nature.

[puma199115]

In my relationship, we both have qualities what would mean that we are the "man" in the relationship. I think its just a bunch of crap so that straight people can make sense of a gay relationship. It's like their version of who has the pants in the relationship.