Gratification

[princealbertofb]

I woke up this morning with this question resonating in my head... And I thought I'd ask you what you think about this, and how you feel about this.
I realise that only those with the experience will be in a position to answer this, but questions concerning the matter and opinions are welcome too.

* When two men are having intercourse, to what extent must the active partner want his own gratification in order to gratify his partner first?
Put in simpler terms, must the top want to ejaculate for his own gratification so that he can actually pleasure his bottom partner?

You may wonder where this question sprang from but I was just thinking of some of the things you see in porn... In some cases you get the impression that the top isn't really trying to satisfy his own urge (but then that's one of the dictates of the porn industry) but to get his partner off. However, the top would never be able to perform if he didn't have a little bit of selfishness in his head during arousal. So my question is really about how selfish or generous you think you are as a top, or how generous, loving and giving you think your partner is when you're bottoming.

[Beaux]

Good question but I am not sure exactly how to express my own opinion on it. For me, I dont really think it is totally a matter of "top" or "bottom". Part of the turn on for me having sex with a guy is that the guy is sexually into me and I assume that his arousal is similarly linked to my attraction to him.
I do see where your going concerning anal sex though (or I think I do lol). I know that I have only met a few guys that I was interested in letting top me. I guess I am versitile, but it really has to be a certain kind of guy that I a willing to bottom for. Part of defining that "type of guy" involves a certain level of lust (lacking a better word) on his part. Good anal sex (for me; top or bottom) is based more on physicality, I leave the emotional bonding for the afterglow.

[Bumpy]

Being top myself I have the tendency to want to satisfy the guy who wants to bottom for me and it gives me great pleasure to see that he is enjoying himself. I put myself last in that case but it seems to arouse my alot. Even if he is done before me I don't really care as long as he helps me out afterwards. I hope it makes sense.

[DOMITIAN]

I have seen tons of gay porn. I even worked in a gay video store and helped out at a gay video production studio. Those guys in those porno vids are professionals. Sex is their way of making a good living. The ones who are good at it are all exhibitionists. They get turned on by the presence of onlookers with cameras pointed at them. Most of the sex which takes place in front of the video camera is for the benefit of the viewer. It can be sontaneous and natural when the couples are actually lovers. But I don't think porn vids are a perfect example of gay love.

Sex is a form of play. It should be completely spontaneous. There should not be any "game plan" at all. Each partner should do what he likes best. When one partner is having a great time, it is only natural that the second partner gets turned on. Simultaneous orgasm should, idealy, B the norm rather than the exception.

With my first lover, I was always the Bottom. We NEVER failed to have simultaneous orgasm. I believe it is a matter of psychological communication. Unfortunately, some guys just use their partner as an elaberate form of masterbation, never fully connecting emotionally to their partners feelings during sex.

[princealbertofb]

Interesting, Domitian, I wonder how many other people have experienced simultaneous orgasm... and whether they strive for it to happen or are content to do it whenever everyone's ready. Simultaneous orgasms seem to be the ideal form of intercourse but I don't know if this is necessarily what everyone strives for... As I said, you've got to be slightly selfish, but just how selfish?

[DOMITIAN]

Interesting, Domitian, I wonder how many other people have experienced simultaneous orgasm... and whether they strive for it to happen or are content to do it whenever everyone's ready. Simultaneous orgasms seem to be the ideal form of intercourse but I don't know if this is necessarily what everyone strives for... As I said, you've got to be slightly selfish, but just how selfish?

I don't mean to bragg about that time in my life. My lover Cory & I were just so perfectly tuned 2gether, it simply happen that way each & every time.
Even if I, (on the bottom), started comming right away, Cory would come right with me. It was a strange but wonderful phenomenon. Too bad we lost eachother after 2 1/2 wonderful years.

I do not believe simultaneous climax is necessary 4 2 people 2B happy. I don't mind comming seperate. There is so much more to love than just sexual performance.

I achieve great satisfaction when making my partner moan, tremble & come.

Making the choice to B monogamous is smart, but IM sure it also has its negative side. Life is always a comprimise.

[princealbertofb]

Yes Domitian, thank you for that response... It's good that you were able to enjoy simultaneous orgasms and then could fall asleep together, lol, and enjoy the intimacy... which outweighs the actual sex in the long run... methinks.

[DOMITIAN]

Yes Domitian, thank you for that response... It's good that you were able to enjoy simultaneous orgasms and then could fall asleep together, lol, and enjoy the intimacy... which outweighs the actual sex in the long run... methinks.

Oh yes, thank U Prince Albert of B.

Many, many times we ended up with him falling asleep on top of me, or both of us sleeping 2gether still "connected" in bed. I was positively SICK in love for him. Unfortunately, for Cory, it was only about the sex, even though our friendship was intense. He had a girlfriend too, but she refused to put out.
In the end, I was just the lucky recipient of Cory's pent up sexual tesions.

He left a permanent stamp in my mind and on my heart. I still want him, but I know I will never find him again . . . . se la vive!

[princealbertofb]

Oui, c'est dommage mais c'est la vie!