Oh my heart just left me

[dlboy53]

Update on this guy.
Well he did email me back and quite a nice email at that too. I did find out that he is russian and still lives there and his pic that he sent, well he sent 2 more one a close up of him at the same area that the first one cam from and the second was at a cafe. So I'm thinking that the pic are real at this point. He want to be open and honest with me and likewise. he said he was happy that I took the time to respond to him.

I have never felt this way before, I mean when I say my heart hit the floor when I say him for the first time and even saw the new pics for the second time. Am I over reacting to all of this being new to the scene. I'm glade his is in Russua,because I think I would have scared him off with my reation to him.

So I emailed him back to see what kind of response I get back for me being a bit more open to him.

will try to keep an up date going, I'm sure at least we will be goo email friends at most, but then again you never know what lies ahead.

What do you guys think so far?

[princealbertofb]

DLBOY, you will probably be getting more of that type of e-mail. Maybe this guy is genuine, and maybe he'll just be asking for you to send him some money so he can supposedly get out of his country... Remember that you are not going to be able to change everyone's life by sending them money. My partner once had a person from Russia like that, who was drop dead gorgeous and who, once he heard that my partner was NOT going to send him any money for any reason that he mentioned, stopped writing to him. So don't be conned by the good looks and the apparently genuine appeal for help. It could be genuine, but might also be a scam. You need to be really aware that there are people out there who are ready to skin you live, if they can get away with it, and they do this by using your gullibility and vulnerability, especially if you are new to the scene. Best of luck, if he happens to be genuine.

[jbrowder24]

Dlboy... please be careful. I usually give people the benefit of the doubt until I know for sure otherwise; and often I go along so that I can report profiles to the site and get the guy banned/deleted. And I have chatted with some legit people from other countries; I enjoy learning more about people (perhaps that's the curious aspiring writer in me). It used to be very obvious, and sometimes still is - only a few model pics; asking for money right away; etc. However, I have seen in the last couple years some that have gotten smarter. It's easier than ever for them to find multiple photos of a real guy on places like facebook - the pics you're seeing may be very real and seem genuine, but not be the person you are talking to. And some take longer to ask for money than before. I've had a guy that was also from Russia that seemed genuine - talked about his sister, playing guitar, cats, etc. He was very "oh I'm falling for you" but when guys from afar say things like that, I always remain suspicious. I always maintained with him that I only wanted to chat as friends or pen pals, but if he ever made it to the U.S. that I would enjoy meeting him. I made it clear I don't have money to spare as well. Eventually he said he found a job in the U.S. but needed funds to help moved. He made it sound like, "I've already saved this much, only need this small amount more." But it was still hundreds, and I said no. As soon as I did, he said I didn't care for him, etc, and got very angry with me - when I had always been honest about being friends and not having money. I had hoped he actually would have been genuine; he certainly sent lots of real seeming pics as well... and like I said if nothing else, it was fun at first exchanging e-mails. But he definitely ended up a fake.

If you do continue to chat with him, I suggest you continue as I did... keeping you in friend mode, no matter how flirtatious he is or how much he starts to say he loves you (in fact if he starts with this, grow more suspicious). It feels nice to get flattered when you're new to things and haven't had much attention, but it's better to remain realistic. Even if he is genuine, could he travel here and get citizenship? You don't want to fall for someone so far. Stay friends only until you can meet; or until he asks for money in which case report and block!

[dlboy53]

well if it is about money he will now know that i'm unemployed so that should be the end of that I guess.

Thanks for the warning because I am such a giving person I would have tried to help.

[jbrowder24]

You're welcome... save money for those you know are truly for need! I mentioned using webcams before, that could be one way, if they agree, to see if the face matches the pics. Pretty much all chat programs have the webcam option these days.

One other scam to watch out for is these guys will ask if they can mail something to you, and if you can mail them on, using their out of country status as an excuse... and most likely these goods are stolen.

I know, this is not at all what you want to hear... and who knows, maybe this is just a friendly guy. But there will be guys that live much closer to Boise whom you can actually meet in person! There are guys out there for every type and you're just getting out there. Dating can be scary, frustrating, etc. but you can also meet great friends along the way... Hoping for the best for you

[dlboy53]

Well it's better to hear them then getting stiffed later.

Thanks for watching out for me and others as well, saves from heartache and risking total isolation from others greed. Why can't things be simple anymore?

[dlboy53]

Well he emailed back and his subject of the day was where he is from and showed pics of the city he is from and what kind of job he has. So now that I'm being more aware of what might be happening, and after seeing the view post here I went back to the board where he contacted me so I could look at his profile and found it is no long accessable. So I emailed him back giving him a better look at the area I live. I did not go into employment again for I did that yesterday and also stated that I was unemployed.
So I'm guessing that the unemployment did not faze him and to be honest here I was surprised to see an email today.

[jbrowder24]

That his profile isn't there might be a bad sign though; that he asked someone else for money and got reported. Still be careful. If you have the time, sure continue to chat with him, maybe you'll get an awesome pen pal out of the situation. Just don't fall for him because even if he's real, it's best when you can meet someone.

[zeon]

Hello Dl,
Please dont give out any personal information... They are usually trying to find lovers to gain access into the country... My ex landlord got a similar thing from a guy in russia and after some trawling and non stop communication over a couple of months the guy wanted to know his address to visit and asked him if he minded paying the plane fare.... I am very dubious about russia considering homosexuality in russia is still illegal...

Kindest regards

zeon

[dlboy53]

I don't plan on it and I have yet to send a photo for that very reason, so far the only thing I've done was send pics of the area which are copies from the city web page.