Have any of you ever offered a friend, or someone you were attracted to, money or gifts to be "intimate" with you? And I'm not talking about a professional escort. I have a friend who is good looking and has a muscular, smooth body. As far as I know, he's straight, though he hasn't had a relationship with a girl for several years. He's a very nice guy, and he has this side that will let him take chances without feeling guilty. He's very open minded. Recently, he's been on hard times, and is usually broke. I've been trying to figure out a way to see if he'd consider "messing around" with me, and, if it seemed necessary, offering to help him out, a little, financially. Though in most places, paying for sexual services is against the law, I see nothing wrong with rewarding people for sexual favors. I am a religious person, but my thinking is that if it doesn't hurt anybody there's nothing wrong with it. An idividual has the right to decide what he will do with his body. I have also had my share of escorts in the past.
Anyway, like I asked, have any of you ever offered someone money or gifts to mess around with you? Would you?
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No I haven't, and I don't think I would. Frankly, I would be a bit insulted if someone offered money to me for something like that. I can imagine such a request going very badly.
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Personally I would not cross that boundary with a friend unless you really want to humiliate him.
Offering anyone money has the potential to make them feel objectified at the very least. There is also an element of power and control involved with money exchanging hands.
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Gilbert Wrote:Recently, he's been on hard times, and is usually broke. I've been trying to figure out a way to see if he'd consider "messing around" with me, and, if it seemed necessary, offering to help him out, a little, financially. ...
Anyway, like I asked, have any of you ever offered someone money or gifts to mess around with you? Would you?
I have never offered anyone money or gifts to "mess around". I certainly wouldn't think it appropriate to do so to a friend. Part of the point of friendship is to know someone well enough to be able to predict what would be considered appropriate and what wouldn't. Although I have never considered the scenario you present I can think of no friend of mine with whom this would go down well.
Why have you waited until your friend has fallen on hard times? If you want to help your friend out financially there is nothing stopping you. If you expect favours in return don't be surprised if you lose a friend.
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Hi I agree with all of the previous posters. I am going to go a step further, at risk of offense to you, and say that I am having a hard time believing how many things you said in your post are just plain wrong.
First and foremost, geniune intamacy can never be purchased via gifts, money, threats, maniputlation, nor pressure. Period. If you think it can, your missing out on something very important in life.
Secondly, with friends like you, who needs enemies? It sounds (to me) that your interested in using the hard times your "friend" is going through to benefit sexually. You certainly dont sound like any friend I would want around. Real friends help each other, they dont take advantage of them during times of need.
I have no idea why you feel the need to share with us that your "religious". I am not even gonna go there.
A person who chooses to become an escort, does so understanding that it is a business. Neither do I find it, as a profession to be objectional. From reading your post, I am not in the least suprised that you have had "your share" of escorts.
So to directly answer your question: No I would never degrade a friend by offering him money for sex. If he was really my friend I would have already been helping him in anyway that I could with out expecting anything (much less sexual favors) in return.
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Well I’m broke so this method of getting play isn’t really and option, I could maybe slip a dude a 20 and buy him a double double and a donut.
The good thing in Canada coffee and a donut can fetch you at least a hand job (joking) :tongue:
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Gilbert, why wouldn't you just want to help your friend out financially for other reasons that taking advantage of his nice physique? If things develop differently after you've made that friendly gesture, well that's for two grown up individuals to find out what they feel comfortable with. But I wouldn't subject your friendship to that kind of condition. If you have a good heart, you'll help him out with not idea of a "return". That's how I view love, and even friendships.
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TimmyThink Wrote:Well I’m broke so this method of getting play isn’t really and option, I could maybe slip a dude a 20 and buy him a double double and a donut.
The good thing in Canada coffee and a donut can fetch you at least a hand job (joking) :tongue:
You know whats sad, I know a guy who got a hand job in a park because he promised to buy the girl a Tim's coffee afterward, no joke :eek:
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Maybe the way Gilbert phrased his question came out all wrong... I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt.. and guess that he's only 'hoping' that his friend will give him a little bit of his time if he helps him out... but, Gilbert, I wouldn't expect it of him, as I stated before. I'd want my gesture of help to be free of any expectations of favours.
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Wow! Your messages have come across loud and clear. I am really not a bad person, but I guess I need to think about what you're telling me. I have helped my friend out on occasion. I guess I just thought it would be more of a "you help me out and I'll help you out kind of a thing." In my defense, I think it would make a difference if you knew the individual and the kind of friendship we have. I don't think it would bother him at all if I gave him a monetary proposition. The thing I worry about more than anything is that I would be telling him I was gay. I'm sure he already knows, but it's just not something that we've ever talked about. But, thank you for being so honest with me. You guys are very honest without being jerks. Other sites I've been to have people who can be real assholes. You've given me a lot to think about.
In a story related to this, I had a friend, a few years back, who was offered money by his college professor in exchange for sex. He was actually flattered by the offer and thought it was an easy way to make a few bucks. I'm not trying to any moral judgement of the individual. i just thought the guy's story was interesting.
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