04-25-2011, 04:12 AM
I might get a bit crude here but bare with me.
Theres this guy. I keep telling myself I only want to be friends blah blah blah blaaaaaar. But theres a problem. Im horney. Like unbarably so. I havent had sex in 4 1/2 years. My balls are so blue they starred in james camerens Avatar. So needless to say Ive been having these crazy dreams. I thought I was just being a horn dog around this guy but as it turns out theres something bubbling beneath the surface.
So I think its time to admit theres two guys. Both live in the same town an hour away. Both are extremely atractive to me. One talks to me on texts all the time. The other rocked my world and I dont speak to him much. The one I dont speak to is NOT single.
So here is the problem. I had this dream where (like most of my dreams) everything was a musical with my favorite songs. If youve ever seen the music video for 30 Seconds To Mars Hurricane then you know what im about to talk about when I say that this was the song of the night. The dream was everything that happened the night I met the not so single guy and everything that happened since and even in the future at a party im going to next month where I know he will be. So in the dream we are all at a club with dancing and karaoke and I decide to go up to sing. Now is when the song happens and Even as its still going I find myself dancing with not so single guy. one thing leads to another and we are in a hotel room where im simply kissing him. I shouldnt be doing this. I shouldnt be even thinking this or dreaming this but i am. and for a second I stand there with my lips over his neck.
I ask "do you give me your permission" and he looks at me. The stare I give him is intense. Like the look in my eyes shows every little detail of what im going to do to him if he says yes. But he does. I tear open his buttoned shirt and suck on his neck. My lips are everywhere. Im rough and so different. I dont feel like myself. I feel like a fucking animal. Im practically doing him with my breath. Its intense and hard and unrelenting untill finally I put him on the verge of climax. But I dont let him finish. Then its my turn.
I dont even take my cloths off. I merely pull my pants down and Take him as hard as I can while still kissing him. We go at it so rough I start to get dizzy. Its hard. Biting and scratching. Throwing and screaming. If it didnt feel so good youd think we were killing eachother. theres no toys or leather. Just our hands. Our animal maws. I finish and in my dream I find myself waking up and feeling so ashamed.
I ask him what it means. And we fight about him still being with his bf and how it makes me look now that we had sex. I run off and get lost in the city of boston. Everyones searching for me. But im gone. Finally not so single guy finds me. We fight again. He doesnt know what to do. I dont know what to do. So I kiss him again.
Thats where I wake up. In real life hes some guy I know but in my brain its a fucking romance. And when this party im going to finally comes I wouldnt put it past me to actually have sex with him like that. Its not me. That animal atraction. The biting and the hurting. That intensity I have only imagined with this not so single guy who I dont have a chance at love with.
What the hell is wrong with me? Am I really about to risk a good thing by becoming "the other women/man thing"? such an intense dream, but does this reflect how I feel about him? I dont know everything about him but what I do know so far is nothing short of great. What do I do?:confused:
Theres this guy. I keep telling myself I only want to be friends blah blah blah blaaaaaar. But theres a problem. Im horney. Like unbarably so. I havent had sex in 4 1/2 years. My balls are so blue they starred in james camerens Avatar. So needless to say Ive been having these crazy dreams. I thought I was just being a horn dog around this guy but as it turns out theres something bubbling beneath the surface.
So I think its time to admit theres two guys. Both live in the same town an hour away. Both are extremely atractive to me. One talks to me on texts all the time. The other rocked my world and I dont speak to him much. The one I dont speak to is NOT single.
So here is the problem. I had this dream where (like most of my dreams) everything was a musical with my favorite songs. If youve ever seen the music video for 30 Seconds To Mars Hurricane then you know what im about to talk about when I say that this was the song of the night. The dream was everything that happened the night I met the not so single guy and everything that happened since and even in the future at a party im going to next month where I know he will be. So in the dream we are all at a club with dancing and karaoke and I decide to go up to sing. Now is when the song happens and Even as its still going I find myself dancing with not so single guy. one thing leads to another and we are in a hotel room where im simply kissing him. I shouldnt be doing this. I shouldnt be even thinking this or dreaming this but i am. and for a second I stand there with my lips over his neck.
I ask "do you give me your permission" and he looks at me. The stare I give him is intense. Like the look in my eyes shows every little detail of what im going to do to him if he says yes. But he does. I tear open his buttoned shirt and suck on his neck. My lips are everywhere. Im rough and so different. I dont feel like myself. I feel like a fucking animal. Im practically doing him with my breath. Its intense and hard and unrelenting untill finally I put him on the verge of climax. But I dont let him finish. Then its my turn.
I dont even take my cloths off. I merely pull my pants down and Take him as hard as I can while still kissing him. We go at it so rough I start to get dizzy. Its hard. Biting and scratching. Throwing and screaming. If it didnt feel so good youd think we were killing eachother. theres no toys or leather. Just our hands. Our animal maws. I finish and in my dream I find myself waking up and feeling so ashamed.
I ask him what it means. And we fight about him still being with his bf and how it makes me look now that we had sex. I run off and get lost in the city of boston. Everyones searching for me. But im gone. Finally not so single guy finds me. We fight again. He doesnt know what to do. I dont know what to do. So I kiss him again.
Thats where I wake up. In real life hes some guy I know but in my brain its a fucking romance. And when this party im going to finally comes I wouldnt put it past me to actually have sex with him like that. Its not me. That animal atraction. The biting and the hurting. That intensity I have only imagined with this not so single guy who I dont have a chance at love with.
What the hell is wrong with me? Am I really about to risk a good thing by becoming "the other women/man thing"? such an intense dream, but does this reflect how I feel about him? I dont know everything about him but what I do know so far is nothing short of great. What do I do?:confused: