So, I got diagnosed with clinical depression.

[TuxSky]

LONG POST, I KNOW.

Ever since my mother died in 2009 I felt a bit demotivated but I shook it off. I'd be normal most of the time but then some days I'd just feel horrible. A little while after my birthday this year, I noticed that I'd just feel down 24/7 and not want to wake up in the morning. It's been 3 months and I only decided to go to the doctor last month as it was just getting worse and it got so bad that I just didn't want to talk to anyone. I started staying away from school too. I should have spoken sooner, I was stupid, I was embarrassed to say anything and thought that no one would believe me. I thought they'd say/ask things like "Shake it off.", "You're a man.", "What could you be depressed about?", etc.

Anyways, eventually things got bad as my school called and I missed a ton of stuff and I had to go to the doctor for a reason, I was supposed to just tell him to write me a fake excuse () but I decided against it and told him how I felt. I lost a lot of weight for no reason, felt incredibly anti-social, had trouble sleeping, no appetite... the works. So, I went by a psychiatrist and pretty much just answered some questions and I got diagnosed with clinical depression.

I got prescribed Prozac, never in a million years would I thought I'd be taking Prozac. It hasn't really been doing anything, to be honest, I got worse for a while, actually and it just made my lack of appetite worse. Anyways, I've been getting better now as I realized that shutting myself out of everything is only making things worse. So I've been trying my best to be as social as I was and I'm gradually getting better.

There's still the problem with school, I'm in so much trouble and I really don't know if I'll do well on my exams because I've missed so much school. And this is the exam. University-entrance exams. They start next week and I still am not back to full strength yet, but I'll try my best!

Anyways, yeah. I just wanted to get this out somewhere since I haven't told anyone about all of this. My dad asked me what I was so depressed about today and I considered coming out to him but I backed out, I kind of regret it, I should have just gotten it over with.

I honestly don't know what I could be depressed about. It isn't my mother's death, my sexuality... I don't know, I don't think I have such an issue with being gay. I mean, yeah, I feel like I can't relate to most people and stuff and I have to tone down my behavior but... could that really be the cause for all of this drama?

[jbrowder24]

I'm sorry to read you're having such a tough time; but getting diagnosed and thus getting help is a start. The depression may not even be linked to something such as death or sexuality but something you go throuh as a result of genetics etc; everybody is different. You definitely aren't alone in how you feel or what you're going through, and good luck getting things worked out with school.

[joseph]

hello that uis very sad.peple not relise it is not any thing about fo depsresed it is just if you was very sad.so when if if somone says why you sad saying its is just depreresin.if it is hard a bout shool it most impotent a bout nnot being sad so you can do school latter if you wonted.it is most importent about being happy.

[zeon]

hello there,
Sorry to hear ya feeling low... I think the shock of loosing your mum so early may have a vitial piece to play... I am pleased to read that you are aware about it and trying to do something about changing it... If I was in your shoes I would catch up with everything in life and study in overtime mode to get those required grades not only for myself but also my mother.... Maybe talking about things with your father may help as opening up inside can always aty times make ya have a bloody good cry and its time to let the emotion out and drain yourself of these horrible feelings so u can freshen yourself up

kindest regards and big hugs

zeon xx

[toomuch45]

hey sorry your having a tough time
but let me say this i think your gonna pass the exam and im very glad you told us what was wrong with you and i know your gonna make it through

[NonGayGay]

I am diagnosed Bipolar 1 and I struggle with hallucinations aswell as suicidal thoughts, I can empithize with you I know you have the stregnth to handle you diagnoses