Why is it necessary to come out?

[naterin11]

I'm talking about "the big moment": sitting one's parents down and coming out of the closet. I'm sure everyone has their own reasons for coming out to them in such a setting (comfort, acceptance, etc.), but personally, I'd be happy just slapping a rainbow on the back of my car and letting them find out on their own, lol. I'm pretty positive my family would accept me (but I'm still holding it in for some reason).

So I'm just curious to hear what others have to say on this. I know not everyone has the opportunity to do something like this, but however you did it, what was your motivation for doing so? Did you sit your parents down and tell them? How did you come out?

- Nate

[OrphanPip]

I never did get a chance to do it, my brother went and told them. I think that one advantage of sitting them down to do it is that you control the situation; having my mother storm into my bedroom at 1 am screaming "are you gay! are you gay!" isn't how I would want it to go down if I had another crack at life. lol

[CreanshawV]

Well...:confused: You have to look at it like this. You definitely have to make sure that it's worth it. This would have to be something that you're confident and sure about. Some people don't have a choice in the matter but bless the ones who do! I haven't come out to mine and I'm very satisfied and comfortable with that. I know for a fact they wouldn't accept me because they barely do now. LOL!!! I believe I would come out and wouldn't care what they whole world thought if I was in love but one thing is really strange to me... There aren't that many long lasting gay relationships. If everyone is all about sex, then what's the use?

[princealbertofb]

Well...:confused: You have to look at it like this. You definitely have to make sure that it's worth it. This would have to be something that you're confident and sure about. Some people don't have a choice in the matter but bless the ones who do! I haven't come out to mine and I'm very satisfied and comfortable with that. I know for a fact they wouldn't accept me because they barely do now. LOL!!! I believe I would come out and wouldn't care what they whole world thought if I was in love but one thing is really strange to me... There aren't that many long lasting gay relationships. If everyone is all about sex, then what's the use?

I don't think it is all about sex. I think that's the image that we get fed by the media. All the gay couples that have been together for ages and ages don't make it in the news because they are just "too boring" (cute but boring) and that sort of sex doesn't sell. That's my point number one.

Point number two, with inadequate representation in many places and many countries of what a healthy gay coupled life could be like, I don't think gays feels they are allowed that sort of luxury.

Point number three, while gay is still a derogatory word or stigmatised it will still be difficult for people to come out, because no one likes others to think they've got a major "flaw".

My question to you is: How do you know that there aren't that many long lasting gay relationships? What figures can you show for that? Do you think there are that many long lasting straight relationships, even thought that's mainly the accepted route?

I think there are many more than we know about, but they keep things quiet, and why is that? Because unless they can marry and make it public, they don't want the whole world to know. It's still a very private thing.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Well, if I were gay, I think that at some point I would want to brag about it, you know? I'd want to tell my friends "HA, I'm gay, I get much more pleasure from sex than you do!"
And as for my parents, I probably wouldn't bother telling them unless they ask or unless I have to introduce my boyfriend and stuff. I prefer to keep them out of my life.

[Glaedr]

Well, if I were gay, I think that at some point I would want to brag about it, you know? I'd want to tell my friends "HA, I'm gay, I get much more pleasure from sex than you do!"

Never thought about it this way but thats really true! good call

[East]

If you are worried about acceptance and you are living a lie or pretending to be anyone but who you are because you are afraid of not getting acceptance then the acceptance you have is worthless.

[joseph]

i toled peple beacase it helps .becase i wont pepleto new i was gay becase its is importnt to me.it is a bout who im am! and peple miht not relise it .becuse i not got a boyfrined and about i if peple didint think i will be gay like . it is nice if pepple now about it

[Sil]

cute avatar pic ^_^

I don't think a huge AA intervention-style 'I am GAY!' event is neccessary, but it does help people know where they stand with you, and who you are. People wonder a lot of things about others, and affirming their suspicions helps to put a lot of things to rest, for you and for them.

I suppose it's about mutual satisfaction, on a personal level. You want people you're close to to know who you are and they want to know the same, it builds closeness. I find myself coming out repeatedly to new friends, acquaintances; it never really ends! but gets easier every time...

Friday night I had to come out to my friend's girl and her mate, and they just seemed to think it was cool that I wasn't camp or a stereotype and wanted to know more. So it's nice to get that respect as well.

[zeon]

Hello there,
When i came out i was walking the dogs wirth my step dad and i said one night that my brother was giving me shit and said to him when he asked why that I am gay... He asked if he could tell my mum and i said sure then she called me in called my aunt who told my cousins who told my nan and she told my granddad who told my unclwes and they told their kids and the minute i came out i said to myself


lf my family have always loved me they will respect me.. If they dont they are better off dead as they wont be part of my family... All members are very supportive to be honest... Id recommend slapping a rainbow on ya car for a wind up

Kindestb regards