personally, i cried when i told my mom and she said i love you.. but i don't think she ACTUALLY meant it. Its a lifestyle not a hairstyle. You have to embrace who you are so that others can embrace you.
You're only 20 now, so, yeah, be 20, do whatever you wanna gravitate towards.. but down the line you might want more out of life, and i think at THAT point it will matter more.
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Haven't came out to family yet but I came out to several friends.
Huge benefit is I can tell any of my female friends that I want to crash on their bed ....because I am sleepy. lol!
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Be a gentleman, use the sofa!
Fred
Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
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Or the ladies can choose to crash with me on a same bed. I am hug-able =D
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you need to come out because you haven't put that sticker on your car!,my guess is you are at the stage where you no longer are too scared if anyone finds out but don't want to go through the upset and confession of addmitting you are different to others,if you were ill would you carry on letting friends and family think you were well or leave your medicine laying around for them to see or just tell them,George Michael is a good example, he always denied he was gay whilst at the same time living a gay life style,at the time he said it was his private business but at the same time having sex in public toilets,later he has said he just could not go that extra step and come out to the world,he took the "car sticker" route,and I think he has come off worst for it.
Even after you come out there will be times when you may seem to some people to go back in the closet in certain situations,it all depends the reason why you withhold the truth,if for safety or because you are ashamed,a sales assistant asking if the food you have just bought is for a romantic dinner with your girlfriend,you may choose just to say yes because why do they need to know the truth and you don't know if there is some crazy gay basher in the queue waiting to buy his stuff.
I came out in the standard way,sat my mam down and did the whole "I have something to tell you" and with my brothers it was the same thing but by the 3rd time it was a lot easier to do and I got quite good at it lol,now I choose who I tell based on safety and is it any of their business.
So buy that car sticker but it takes away the control and who you choose to tell and may also leave you with the feeling you chickened out because it was just too hard to do.
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Is it necessay. no, does it make life easier in the long run, for mos of us, yes. How long can we hide who we are from our family and friends, how long would we want too. It is easier now than in the 50's. Still difficult though. It can effect us in negitive manors to the point of suicide in some cases. My friends mother said you can't be gay cause everyone will use that to black mail you, so he came out to everyone so no one could black mail him.
I am out but dont broadcast it just like hetero's don't broadcast that they are, if anyone asks I tell the truth, otherwise it is no ones bussiness, jim
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I would never tell anyone that they have to come out, but your choices should set the foundation for the world that you ultimately want to live in.
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Words of wisdom from both Jim (James) and ChiGuy! It's just one of those annoying features of being gay that, unless it's blatantly obvious, you have to show your "membership card". ChiGuy is right though, on a social level, it sets the foundation for the world we'll live in (an example to be followed. For example, we all deplored the lack of homosexual male role models in our youth) and Jim is right on the individual level, where, ultimately, what you enjoy doing with someone in the bedroom, and in your private life ought to be of interest only to you and your partner. But being able to state openly that you are in a partnership with somebody ought to be as easy for a gay couple as it is for hetero couples. That would be true equality.
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I told my mom. I took her for a drive to a lookout and told her. She said, "I'm glad we had this conversation."
It was a couple of years later till I told my dad, but he was okay with it - a little embarrassed, but that was about it.
I feel better having done it. I'm not hiding anything. I really wish I'd had the strength to come out at school or college. I can't help but admire the kids that do.
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