One way bedroom

[DOMITIAN]

Sounds like your partner is a total-bottom. I have had experience with these types. Sometimes a total bottom turns out to in fact be a Transgender Person who sees himself as the "female" partner. He feels like a women in your presence and hates the thought of you being attracted to his maleness. Touching his male equipment only reminds him that he is male and that you are a gay man. He does not want gay sex. He wants a straght relationship with a straight man. Do not attempt to perform fellatio on him. It only offends him/her.

I have been there too many times. If he is Transgendered, not Gay; he/she preferes to be your "woman' and not your gay male partner.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . Sorry if that is the case.

[azulai]

Sounds like your partner is a total-bottom. I have had experience with these types. When a gay men is a total bottom, he sees himself as the "female" partner. These tyopes are also known as "Transgendered". He feels like a women in your presence and hates the thought of you being attracted to his male parts. Touching his male equipment only reminds him that he is male and that you are a gay man.

I have been there too many times. He preferes to be your "girl' and not your gay partner.

I STRONGLY disagree with the above statement that all total bottoms see themselves as female. I think the above quote is that poster's OPINION and not a FACT.

Some MEN get their physical sexual pleasure from bottoming, it has nothing to do with any inclination or desire to be female.

[DOMITIAN]

I am sure there are "Total Bottoms" who are Gay and not Transgendered Straight.

The only way to determine this is to ask the person in question.

I have been there enough times. If your partner gets a troubled look on his face when you even look at his genitals, it is a very big clue that he/she is Transgendered and not gay. Transgendered people hate their bodies and want permanent changes & a new identity and hate having the male parts being touched, or even being looked at. I have been there, it is not my cup of tea.

[boi4studs]

I used to be a total bottom and I wasn't transgendered. If I'm the bottom I don't want my partner to give me a handjob or a blowjob.

My advice is to do other things. Massage is good. Kiss his neck. Touch his nipples. Finger him. Give him a rimjob. Be intimate with him as a bottom, rather than as a versatile guy.

[princealbertofb]

Well i have known him for over a year as friends.
When we are watching films and chilling out he will cuddle up to me and put his legs on me... I put my hand onto his leg and he doesnt mind at all.
Its just strictly in the bedroom department.
He told me before we got together that he has had feelings for me for a while. He was scared to say because he thought i wouldnt be interested and would then cut him off as a friend.

When i ask him about the touching thing he just says i dont like it and changes the subject straight away.
Im thinking he is not telling me something. maybe bad experiences in the past or something.

It seems to me that it's important to respect the kind of intimacy that he needs and to take into account what he can only take for the moment, and if that means no touching, it means no touching. He may come around to it, but not just now.
Obviously it is something that will need to be addressed. You, on the other hand can make it clear to him that it's all right for him to touch you because you like it (if you indeed enjoy it).

Maybe you also have a little personal taboo, which at some point you might want to share with him? The whole principle of the taboo is that it can't be discussed... not, in any case, unless all barriers have been broken down (which is what trust is about).

Something tells me that he's had trust issues with people desecrating his intimacy at some point and he's not got over it so his comfort zone is rather limited.

[worknlife]

I am a bottom and I tend to pleasure more than I am pleasured. For me I think it is just a personality thing. Unless I am really close to someone I don’t like them to touch me like that, even when I was really close to someone I did not want him to touch me like that on the regular. Yea I would have to say for me its personality related.

[Ceruleaan]

Sounds like he had some bad experience in the past, maybe you should talk to him about? A friend of mine doesn't like touching her bf but is happy to f*&k around (trust me, I've heard them ) because she had a few rough relationships before...

Its a touchy subject if that is what happened though, so tread carefully.