Middle Aged Closeted (Married) Gay Man

[Rusty]

Hello Site: I am new here and trying to get the guts to act on and come out with my man on man desires!!

[fenris]

Hi and Welcome mile:

[Kiid]

Heya welcome to gs. Sounds like an interesting position you are in there!

[zeon]

Hello there,
Welcome to the forum.... Dont worry about what life throws at ya.. I noticed ya title read you were a married man with kids.... My ex partner who im hoping to get back with is gay and has a son of 15 so its all perfectly normal nowadays plus his son loves the fact his dad is gay.... All i would say is once ya tell the world its like a rollercoaster... theres no getting off until its finished lol

[Rusty]

I hate rollercoasters.......

[CeeJ]

Welcome to gayspeak, this is a great community. The people here are super nice and non-judgmental.

I can totally relate to your confusion and issues. I am 33, married to a woman and gay. Of course I didn't accept that I was gay until earlier this year. I had always thought guys were cute and I just accepted that as normal. After a few years in my marriage I was looking at gay porn secretly and had an overwhelming desire to seek relationships with men. I would recommend keeping those desires in check until you talk to your wife.

I have since talked to my wife and came out. She was upset initially but we have talked and she is very supportive of me. I feel horrible for putting her through this, but she is just loving and supportive. Although we are taking it slow, we are looking at divorce. That is just us in our situation. Some couples have an open marriage, but I just don't think that will work for either of us.

I have not been able to go but if there is a support group in your area, that might help a lot. I would definitely recommend seeking help from a counselor. My wife and I are both seeing individual counselors and it has been a tremendous help. Good luck and I hope all goes well for you.

[Rusty]

My wife knows I like men, I have had a few "hook ups" and was caught. We talked but I am having a rough time keeping my urges in check again!!!!

[princealbertofb]

Maybe you and your wife need that extra talk, then Rusty... I think you'd be happier in the long run both taking your lives into your own hands and separating and, if you can, staying friends. It would be fair to her to give her her life back, don't you reckon?
Good luck with whatever decisions you take.

[toomuch45]

hey rusty my name is mike nice to meet you
mile:

[DarkDaisuke]

Welcome to Gayspeak. Its perfectly fine and when you want to come out come out Some marriages can last if you want them but if you don't then get out of it I suggest.