05-31-2011, 08:01 PM
Hello to everybody! I'm 27-yrs-old guy from Finland and by last 6-7 months I've finally come in terms with being gay. Of course I've known it deep inside longer (always noticing guys first, developing occasionally more-than-friends kinda feelings for my best guy friends), but like they say - denial is a powerful thing. The main reason for my long hiding (even from myself) was probably the 10-yrs-of-bullying-hell I went through during school - after that it took ages (or so it feels now) to get myself back together in one piece mentally. But even after that I tried just be as average as you can be, just tried to hide behind masks.
Last year something finally broke through my self-built mental walls, and step by step I've finally managed to admit myself who I really am. And boy, does it feel good! Just being honest to myself has done wonders to my well-being - of course there's still the quest of coming out, but I honestly don't think it'll come so big surprise to most. After all, I've never even bothered to try and make some sort of long-term commitment to girls/women.
The only "downside" of this realization is that ever since I've "came out to myself" I've had to drop also my lie about "liking to be single" (which I used to explain even to myself why I wasn't dating anyone) - the truth is, I hate being single! I'm just dying to find a nice guy to be with now... :biggrin:
Anway, thanks for reading this (rather long) introduction. I'm happy to be here!
mile:
Last year something finally broke through my self-built mental walls, and step by step I've finally managed to admit myself who I really am. And boy, does it feel good! Just being honest to myself has done wonders to my well-being - of course there's still the quest of coming out, but I honestly don't think it'll come so big surprise to most. After all, I've never even bothered to try and make some sort of long-term commitment to girls/women.
The only "downside" of this realization is that ever since I've "came out to myself" I've had to drop also my lie about "liking to be single" (which I used to explain even to myself why I wasn't dating anyone) - the truth is, I hate being single! I'm just dying to find a nice guy to be with now... :biggrin:
Anway, thanks for reading this (rather long) introduction. I'm happy to be here!
mile:
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Good luck in your search
Have fun 