Codependence?

[mooninleo]

Sometimes I really feel, like with some guys, that I am only nice to them if i'm attracted to them. And that I somehow have this fantasy in my head of what could potentially be.

Even the straight ones.

So i like will fantasize these people, and will be nice to them, because i think somehow if they like me, they will eventually want to get with me, and love me, and understand the deepest darkest corners of my heart.

I was adopted at birth, and this longing may be from not having that very young bond with my mother.. and instead being adopted to a very narcissistic mother, but , i mean, how do you guys function? With coworkers, and friends (not date friends), but what are those relationships based off of? surely not wanting to sleep with and merge with them? I know i'm on a journey of filling this void, but i need some help with not placing too much fantasy onto my relationships.

For some of them it may be sexual, but with others it might be a friendship fantasy that I'm projecting onto them. Thanks anyone for your response, you won't hurt my feelings

xo

[Waylon777]

Hmm.. Well, I think first of all, why do you wanna fantasize things with all your friends? Why do you act like the way you describe? Ask yourself questions and try to answer them. It might help. Sometimes, to solve a problem inside you is to ask yourself a question of why. And what can you do to turn it into something better or another thing. But fantasizing isn't bad, it's just, when you go over board, you are just daydreaming and letting your time slip away. Filling out missing things in ones heart is definitely one thing that any one would do. One thing is to relax. If you have all those little worries and anxiety, let go. Sometimes, letting go make your life much more clearer. Thinking too much is just gonna confuse you more. Try to just find out, what it is in your life that you wanna do. Finding what you wanna do will help you a lot.

[Ian]

Made me think of this: