going into the lion's den

[East]

I don’t trust these people as far as I can throw them. I have a really bad feeling about it.

My advice is in direct response to this part of what you wrote. Please DO trust yourself and your feelings. If you have a bad feeling I would avoid these people and this event and be kind to yourself.

[Synaesthete86]

Absolutely East! Sweet, be kind to yourself! Why should you suffer for the sake of a party? Makes no sense to be around people who don't want you, especially if their behaviour is immature, spiteful and narrow minded. They choose some stupid religion over their own flesh and blood - shows how undeveloped they are as people. You must do what is right for you, if they pick religion, why should you pick them? If your grandmother loves you she would be understanding and would not want you to suffer. Don't go mate.

[sweetlad2010]

Absolutely East! Sweet, be kind to yourself! Why should you suffer for the sake of a party? Makes no sense to be around people who don't want you, especially if their behaviour is immature, spiteful and narrow minded. They choose some stupid religion over their own flesh and blood - shows how undeveloped they are as people. You must do what is right for you, if they pick religion, why should you pick them? If your grandmother loves you she would be understanding and would not want you to suffer. Don't go mate.

You haven't meet my grandmother lol..

They are wiredos the lot of them, I'm going to talk to a few family members on the other side and see what they say.

I have a feeling I might start to sperate from the that side of the family in future..

[KnightShade]

Sweet,

I doubt anything bad will happen to you. They might pretend to like you when they don't and people have a right to not like you if they don't want to........actually, I don't think they DISLIKE you, they probably just are "uncomfortable" with you being around them so they pretend to like you so they don't hurt your feelings. Their religion makes them have to pretend to like people that make them uncomfortable. Gay people make religious people uncomfortable many times because when they see you they have to deal with their own feelings of insecurity about their own sexuality, which many people don't overcome in their lifetime. So don't let it bother you. It's their problem. Let them try to cope with their own feelings. They're scared. It's only normal that they feel uncomfortable.

Many homophobic straight people will try to get you to be straight because they are uncomfortable with you being gay. Don't take it personally. It's their problem, not yours.

[gilhooly]

sweetlad2010;

I'm 65 and almost my whole family are christian evengelicals. One of my sister's referred to my homosexuality as "It" with a flick of her hand. After 50 years of being gay she can't say the word gay--only that I have "IT'.
Trust me it doesn't matter what they think of you. You cannot change their mind. I was born gay---they are born ignorant. Ignorane is your relatives sin not yours. Don't do penance for their stupidity.
To answer your question I usually go and plan to leave early. This avoids their snotty comments to others that I was performing "IT" with someone on the day in question.

Sometimes if I know I don't have patience I just don't go. This Christmas I got stuck without my own wheels. I was in for the duration. I watched them carefully scrub table where I was sitting in case I left some of "IT" where I was sitting. When I got home I cried not for me I like being gay I cxried for them. I asked God to forgive them for their ignorance,
This cheered me up. I reminded God I could be a pretty ignorant bastard myself and I apologized to God for my sins. My biggest sins are always anger and impatience. Since I am not the only angry or impatient guy on planet I assumed he accepted my apology for MY sins.
Never waste your time worrying about what sins others may commit in your presence. Simply decide the pros and cons of that dinner and decide for practical reasons--yes or No. If you want to be in grandmothers will definitely go. I always have good or bad reasons to go or don't go. That's how I decide.
Never include homophobic reasoning in your decision. Play it by ear. How do you feel that day? If I can't or won't put up with their bullshit I simply call and say I'm feeling under the weather. They can and will decide what my real reason is. And I don't care what they think. Ignorant people can't or refuse to think. Screw them. Don't include them in your thinking.
Life gets a lot easier if you only consider your own sins. Since you sin as much as any other guy, don't forget to forgive yourself when necessary.

[sweetlad2010]

sweetlad2010;

I'm 65 and almost my whole family are christian evengelicals. One of my sister's referred to my homosexuality as "It" with a flick of her hand. After 50 years of being gay she can't say the word gay--only that I have "IT'.
Trust me it doesn't matter what they think of you. You cannot change their mind. I was born gay---they are born ignorant. Ignorane is your relatives sin not yours. Don't do penance for their stupidity.
To answer your question I usually go and plan to leave early. This avoids their snotty comments to others that I was performing "IT" with someone on the day in question.

Sometimes if I know I don't have patience I just don't go. This Christmas I got stuck without my own wheels. I was in for the duration. I watched them carefully scrub table where I was sitting in case I left some of "IT" where I was sitting. When I got home I cried not for me I like being gay I cxried for them. I asked God to forgive them for their ignorance,
This cheered me up. I reminded God I could be a pretty ignorant bastard myself and I apologized to God for my sins. My biggest sins are always anger and impatience. Since I am not the only angry or impatient guy on planet I assumed he accepted my apology for MY sins.
Never waste your time worrying about what sins others may commit in your presence. Simply decide the pros and cons of that dinner and decide for practical reasons--yes or No. If you want to be in grandmothers will definitely go. I always have good or bad reasons to go or don't go. That's how I decide.
Never include homophobic reasoning in your decision. Play it by ear. How do you feel that day? If I can't or won't put up with their bullshit I simply call and say I'm feeling under the weather. They can and will decide what my real reason is. And I don't care what they think. Ignorant people can't or refuse to think. Screw them. Don't include them in your thinking.
Life gets a lot easier if you only consider your own sins. Since you sin as much as any other guy, don't forget to forgive yourself when necessary.

Thanks gilhooly, for your words are totally right. Its not me with the problem its theirs.

mile:

[Wintereis]

Price you maybe right, well I hope you are.

It got be my disabitly that is the problem, with my uncle and that. But I don't know.

Well they don't let me near and other the younger members of the family with out some watching my like a hwak..

When I had a boyfriend, the thing what the homophic people at my college used to call me Michel Jacksion, and thats what some of my cousions call me behind my back (still in ear shot) and not in front of my parents..

You need to ask yourself some important questions. Can you feasibly separate yourself from that side of the family all together for the rest of your life? Do you want to separate yourself from all of them: are there some you would like to stay in contact with? If you think you will reasonably never have to see the people again and you want nothing to do with them, then dropping them all together is an option. On the other hand, if you feel that you will have to deal with them or want to hold on to a relationship with some of them, you should standup for yourself. make a point of calling your cousins and your aunt and uncle out on how they treat you. Frankly, berate them. I doubt you will have to deal with their open negativity again.

It's up to you. Just make sure you aren't putting off the inevitable or tucking your tail between your legs before their bigotry, because that will do you no good in the future.

Good luck, man.

[sweetlad2010]

After this party I'm going to start separating my self from that side of the family.
I'm only going really for my Nan, as she her plan for the party is to bring my father and sister togather to get the to talk to each other.

But I think this should be my last family get togather on that side I'll be going to, well with in reason.
I'm going to get to know the side of my family who dont care about me being gay.