I'm a photographer & I've booked my first gay wedding - Please help!

[frygirl]

Totally excited about booking first 'big' gay wedding but I've not posed a gay couple before. Can you please help me in how I would go about this?!

Would I pose one of the men in the usual husband poses and the other one in the wife poses! (sorry for this but I haven't got a clue)! Or do I try and pose them equally if that makes sense?

I would appreciate any comments/advice.

[KnightShade]

Ask them how they would prefer, both "masculine/masculine" posed or "masculine/feminine" posed. My bet is that they would prefer the "masculine/feminine" pose but it's best to ask them.

Don't worry. They will lead you in the way that they want. And I'm sure you will do fine.

[marshlander]

Since this is relatively new territory I think you have every opportunity to be as creative as you and the couple please. Talk to them about the kind of effect they want. I'm not convinced about the masculine/feminine poses at all. Many would prefer good photographs that show a couple of equals at their best.

[colinmackay]

I'd go more for the equality thing (but then I've never really understood gender roles and I don't actually know what you mean by masculine/feminine poses. All I see is a couple standing together ... unless you mean one carrying the other)

Best bet, I'd say, is to ask the couple what they want but assume a starting point of m/m unless they guide you otherwise (we all like men, you see)

Incidentally, my fiancé actively walks out/drops purchases if anyone in the wedding industry try to paint one of us as the bride (yet he admits he is the more feminine of us). We went to a wedding fair a couple if months back and he ditched lots of brochures that didn't mention the possibility of same sex relationships (eg. With forms for "bride" and groom to fill in)

Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk

[frygirl]

When I say 'husband' pose I mean things like when I normally pose a couple signing the register I would normally have the groom standing the bride sitting, I guess I can get them both to sit in this instance but just small things like this. Some of the other poses I may do is where the groom stands behind the bride with his arms around her waist or them facing each other and the bride has her arms around the groom neck.

I'm asking because I don't want to be the photographer who pees some off and my stuff just gets thrown in the bin from the wedding fair! I'm happy to do whatever people want but is it appropriate for me to ask a couple about thing like this?

How about the kiss? Some of the straight weddings I do the couples are uncomfortable to kiss in front of everyone and just do a sort of hug but most do! After reading some posts on here it seems there's such a variety of opinion on the showing of affection in front of other people I guess I would have to ask?!

I just want to get it right!;-)

[Kiri]

You should really ask them how they feel about it. Every couple is different. :]

[marshlander]

I agree with Kiri. You, and the couple, only have one day to get this right. Much better to find out in advance what they think about your ideas.

[Rychard the Lionheart]

You need to sit down with the couple and ask them what they want. You may have to amend the normal posing photos on the day, as one or both sets of parents might not attend the wedding so be flexible with the photography. I hope it goes well for you, they can be a real nightmare when they go pear shaped.

[colinmackay]

When I say 'husband' pose I mean things like when I normally pose a couple signing the register I would normally have the groom standing the bride sitting, I guess I can get them both to sit in this instance but just small things like this. Some of the other poses I may do is where the groom stands behind the bride with his arms around her waist or them facing each other and the bride has her arms around the groom neck.

You know, I never realised the groom standing and bride sitting signing the register were gender roles. I just assumed its was almost random in the moment (whoever sat down first, etc.)

I guess the groom standing behind the bride with arms around her is more to do with the fact that the groom tends to be taller than his bride. Again, I'd never attached a gender role to the positioning in that type of photo to me it was always the taller goes towards the back (just like at school when the tall kids all had to stand in the back row so everyone's face could be seen)

And with regard to the bride having her arms around the groom's neck in the last example, my first thought when I read that was "Gosh! Those straight marriages don't last well if she's got him by the neck already!" (Sorry, I can be a bit random sometimes)

I'm asking because I don't want to be the photographer who pees some off and my stuff just gets thrown in the bin from the wedding fair! I'm happy to do whatever people want but is it appropriate for me to ask a couple about thing like this?

Yes, ask the couple what they want. But I wouldn't come at it from the point of view of "Well, straight couples do this...." because some gay folks don't like the idea of "emulating" straight folk. (However, they are getting a civil partnership so they are heading in that direction anyway, so perhaps you may be on safe ground, even if it isn't quite the same thing)

How about the kiss? Some of the straight weddings I do the couples are uncomfortable to kiss in front of everyone and just do a sort of hug but most do! After reading some posts on here it seems there's such a variety of opinion on the showing of affection in front of other people I guess I would have to ask?!

Again, ask the couple on this. Some may be reticent to show public displays of affection, even amongst people they know, because of negative past experience. But then again if some straight couples are also uncomfortable maybe its more to do with a puritan upbringing. Who knows?

I just want to get it right!;-)

Don't worry about it. As others have said just ask the couple what they want from the photographs. You may end up asking more questions than you would normally, but then the couple will get what they want and you hopefully get business from their friends who may be getting hitched later on.

One final tip: Once you have this set of photos in your portfolio take it to wedding fairs in future. If a gay couple come along you can show them work that they would be more interested in. We certainly paid more attention to the photographers who showed us work they had done with gay couples in the past. (Although we noticed that most don't display it as openly and brought it out from under the table when we arrived at their stall. I found that a bit weird. My fiancé said it was so they didn't "piss off the grumpy hetero couples by letting them know they were gay friendly")

Good luck with the wedding. I'm sure the photos will look great!

[Bluegreen]

I would agree with most others here and your best bet is to sit down and talk to the couple. Nothing wrong with getting some ideas from others of course and getting some ideas from others can give you the ability to offer suggestions, but at the end of the day it ultimately comes down to what does the couple want as it is their big day.