I think most personal mannerisms are the result of social influence and personal beliefs or preferences. I intentionally act feminine in certain situations because I understand that I'm not worth less as a person simply for being feminine. When I act that way I'm demonstrating my own comfort with myself to others who may not associate behavior with personal decision. Other times I may "act straight" just because I don't feel like entertaining questions about being gay or to avoid shifting focus to myself.
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lontok11 Wrote:It always baffles me when people, gay and straight alike, automatically associate being gay with being effeminate. I don't think there's any such thing whatsoever as "gay mannerisms". Sure, there are camp and effeminate mannerisms, but there are straight men who act like that just as much as there are gay men who are butch and macho. It's like the idea that all gay men must, by their very nature, like interior design and Barbra Streisand, and the equally ridiculous idea that all straight men must, by their very nature, like beer and football. What to make of a gay man who supports Chelsea with a penchant for musicals who calls his friends 'mate' and quite likes soft furnishings? (That's not me, by the way - I'm a gay man with a passing interest in football who doesn't really like musicals much, calls his friends 'mate' and lives in a mess).
If you're effeminate, whatever that might actually mean, it means you're effeminate. If you're camp it means you're camp. It does not mean that you're gay, any more than being gay means you're camp and effeminate.
Anyway, ramble, ramble, bit pissed, ramble...
Case in point - meterosexuals 
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Rawr Wrote:I find it quite fascinating myself, though it can be a never ending debate.
I read somewhere that younger siblings are more likely to be gay due to something that happens in the womb. I guess that would come more under nuture than nature.
That is, if you beleive that stuff.
It could also mean that mum had a miscarriage before her first born child...
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It's weird, ever since I came out I've been noticing those feminine traits. My voice has that so called "accent" to it, I'm more into tighter looking clothes (but I still love black, chained cargo with all the white skulls and graffitti lol). Everyone I came out to always mentioned that they thought I was just
"soft spoken" (is that a good or bad thing btw?). I have people look at me weird when they know I'm gay, but I'm doing things that supposedly we don't do?
Like I mentioned to someone how I know how to open a computer, fix all the parts and mess with the programming to get it running again, and I got that WTF stare. (It takes me 5 minutes to learn the workings of any electronic just by playing with it XD)
And I love downing energy drinks and playing my PS3 / WoW until 3am.
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Fayt, I don't see anything non gay, (or gay, for that matter) about being able to take a computer apart and fixing it... I think it's non gender specific to start with. It's maybe that women are less interested in that sort of thing, generally speaking, and there's no reason why they couldn't do it and be interested in it either, but then, you're not a woman so I don't know why you're getting the looks.
Being soft spoken is not a bad thing. It just means you are considerate and not judgemental, probably and never have a cross word. How can that be bad?
People may have a little more trouble assimilating the way you look with a perceived gay lifestyle, but then that's also largely ignorance. It also shows they are not very perceptive. All they get fed is the same old crap that they've been seeing for all these years. Traditions die hard.
By the way: clever you!! :biggrin:
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As mentioned some men are just effeminate but I also believe there is a "lingo" that is learned. If all your friends (peer group) speak and act a certain way pretty soon you will pick up their speech patterns, lingo, and mannerisms.
Here’s an example, I made an acquaintance with a guy at the local gay bar years ago. I would frequently chat with him and the gang that were regulars at the bar. We were both in our mid 20's. I'm a pretty straight acting guy and have more straight friends than gay friends. At the time he seemed pretty straight acting too but acquired more gay friends than straight.
Fast forward a couple 4 years, after not seeing him for a long time, and I found him absolutely FLAMING! Got the crazy hair, sashay, lisp, high drama personality, and everything! It was like an extreme gay make over.
Sure everyone loves to put on a show but peer group is still a factor, even later in life.
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Very astute observation, drobs, you are quite right in that assessment of the situation. The moral of that being, you've got to be pretty strong to remain straight acting among a group of queens.... hehehe, and not succumb to the general bonhommie or bitchiness.
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If anyone saw Ronan Parke on T4 On The Beach on Sunday their gaydar antenas would have been twitching.
Not ALL 12 year-old boys swish their hips like that - Methinks I spy a sister!
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P.S. You can get away with a hell of a lot more when you switch on the camp.
I was able to tell a 68 year-old volunteer in a place I used to work that she may be nearly 70 but still looked better than a 10 inch cock! And got a smile from her.
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