Male random roommate

[doggifan]

Hey guys! I need advice from my fellow gays as to how I should go about introducing myself to my new roommate and pretty much telling him, "Hey! I'm gay". Let me give you a little backstory...

2 friends and I decided to live together for our next year at college in a really nice, 4-bedroom apartment complex. Being only 3 of us, we were unable to find a 4th on our own and were paired with a random roommate. The apartment complex sent us a letter with the name and number of our 4th roommate. Of course we facebooked the person and as it turns out he is a straight guy who seems very frat-tastic. My two friends are pretty girls, so I don't see a problem between them and our new roommate, but I on the other hand am a gay guy! I wouldn't describe myself as "faaaabulous" or extremely effeminate, but I am nonetheless gay! And I live in the south so the acceptance and attitudes towards homos aren't always friendly. For that reason I'm a bit worried as to how he will react. I didn't tell my last male roommate that I was gay and I feel that if I did I could have acted more like myself in front of him. So basically now since now I'm completely out of the closet, I want to start off on the right foot and let my roommate know about my sexuality rather than for him to find out awkwardly along the way. I don't know how exactly to do this though. Basically how should I go about doing this? I move in Sunday night!

And as far as the guy goes from what my cyber-stalking skills gathered: he doesn't seem like a bad guy and if I wasn't gay, we probably would get along really well. But it is clear he is totally a part of the frat lifestyle, and for those who don't know what that is like in the south, they tend to be a little more conservative than most individuals. So how should I go about doing this? Any and every advice is much appreciated!

Ah and I guess I might as well introduce myself. I'm a longtime lurker of these forums and finally decided to register. So hello everyone (:

[geno]

Hi, and welcome to the forum!

Now about your situation, I think you should first meet that guy, and than only you can tell him. I read your post, and I understand your concerns, but you should first see if he really hates gay people, or he has nothing against us. About the telling itself, I think you shouldn't directly tell him, but briefly mention it in a conversation, and say it in a very casual and relaxed way. I mean a sentence like "... And even if I wasn't gay..." or "... I am happy that he is straight, so that he doesn't have to face the problems I have...", or you can leave him a clue that you are gay, and he figures it out by himself. Whatever approach you choose, it will always be the correct one; so don't worry too much about it.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Hey, well, meet the guy first and take a careful look at him, just explore the territory first. True, it will probably be much better if you tell him that you are gay, so just be sure to go gentle about it. Good luck! :]

[doggifan]

Yeah I definitely don't want to freak him out so I think a subtle way of doing it is probably the best way to go. I guess I can hint it in conversation or just have one of my roommates tell him?

[geno]

No, it shouldn't be someone else telling him about your sexuality. That is your personal life and you deal with it. If you have watched "the shelter", do you remember when the nasty sister tells her brother, that his new buddy is gay, it sounds soooooo phony, fake, and mockingly stupid. So don't make that mistake, and go tell him personally what you have to tell him. It won't be easy for you, but trust me, you will feel much better after that.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Mmm, no, no, it doesn't have to be subtle at all. Just make sure to be sure of have a good idea of what kind of a person he is before you tell him.