I'd like to have male friends but how can I do to be nice to them and to be see as a "guy" by them?
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Your profile reads you're from UK but I still can't understand what you're asking.
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I want to have male friends and I don't want them to see me as a "woman" to flirt with, but as a friend to hang out with them.
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BrokenFire Wrote:I want to have male friends and I don't want them to see me as a "woman" to flirt with, but as a friend to hang out with them.
Do you consider that you're effeminate?
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I actually get this one.
Despite the fact that I think I present neutral-to-masculine, like the stuff they like, and do not hit on them, I detect that some straight/cis guys treat me differently by varying degrees than they do each other.
It may be toning down the coarseness of their jokes because they assume I'll be offended, it may be assuming that I wouldn't want to take part in activities like bachelor parties (or maybe my being there would make somebody uncomfortable) or it may be watching their body language or speech to make sure nothing could be taken as a come-on, but even if a guy "accepts you" he may still treat you differently. It's a weird feeling.
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Hi BrokenFire, when I wasn't sure what you were asking, I went back and read your other posts. If I understand correctly, you are a female, but you feel you have a definite male part to your personality and it's the side of you that you want for interacting with other males? Correct?
My suggestion is that you try to make friends with males who are gay because with straight guys, they might see your interest in friendship with them as something else i.e. romance, sex. A gay guy won't care about romance or sex with you and is more likely to let you explore your male side with them. Just remberber, gay or straight, you will find guys who are assholes. You will have to weed them out and move on to others.
At some point, I can't imagine you won't have to explain to guys what it is you feel and experience in yourself.
Why not explain yourself more fully to us and use us for target practice?
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Darius Wrote:Hi BrokenFire, when I wasn't sure what you were asking, I went back and read your other posts. If I understand correctly, you are a female, but you feel you have a definite male part to your personality and it's the side of you that you want for interacting with other males? Correct?
My suggestion is that you try to make friends with males who are gay because with straight guys, they might see your interest in friendship with them as something else i.e. romance, sex. A gay guy won't care about romance or sex with you and is more likely to let you explore your male side with them. Just remberber, gay or straight, you will find guys who are assholes. You will have to weed them out and move on to others.
At some point, I can't imagine you won't have to explain to guys what it is you feel and experience in yourself.
Why not explain yourself more fully to us and use us for target practice?
Thanks for having understood me.
Straight guys' mentality makes me suffer. Suffer because I just want to express my manly side without problems. But still I'm having problems with them, despite I have an androgynous look and I'm sporty.
I have problems also with girls, because I cannot be myself with them. "Why do you dress this way?", "Why are you so androgynous", they always say to me.
You're right, I think I need to be friend with gay guys. But I must say something about it. I don't have anything against feminine guys, but I'd prefer having manly gay guys as friends, because I think they can understand me better, since they must fight with the sad people's convinction that gay = woman.
What do you mean of "use us for target practice"? Sorry but english isn't my native language (and I'm not from UK, it's an error).
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By target practice, I mean use us to sharpen your skills at interacting with other guys for friendship, then put it into practice in your real world. Most people here will give you good advice and even tell you when you are wrong, usually in a nice way, sometimes not, but that is how people work.
As for manly men, I think you will find most gay men are just regular guys, neither feminine nor overly macho. Get to know these types, I think you will enjoy it.
Your avatar says Italy, not UK, btw.
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Yeah, I corrected it.
Well, I went away from this site because I had a huge delusion from another one and I didn't hope that here I would have had a good experience.
Thanks for your suggestion but I think I won't stay in this website for long.
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BrokenFire Wrote:I want to have male friends and I don't want them to see me as a "woman" to flirt with, but as a friend to hang out with them.
you're really naive, aren't you?
''Do I look civilized to you?''
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