Dinner With Ex?

[jbrowder24]

I think you should go, but only as a friend and make it clear to him that it will just be as a friend to support him during a difficult time. You owe him nothing but may regret it if you don't go and find out he did something drastic if he is having a hard enough time that he reached out to someone familiar after years of not talking.

Have missed you around here as well!

[Beaux]

I have decided to go. I will probably have to swing my schedual around but I would like to see him. I am no where near the person I was all those years ago and I am sure he isnt either. It all has to have been very difficult for him, he was the one that found the body.
As far as making it a lunch, that is unlikely. He is a military contractor and travels quite frequently, he is going to be approx 3 hours from where I live for a few days. I expect that we will meet at a restruant midway.
It has all been so out of the blue, I cant help having thought about the past all day. I was so young. lol o well we will see

[dfiant]

Time can change a person.

I think your ex is reaching out for a friend, and that should be an honour. Give him the time of day, he needs to grieve...and perhaps apologise. Make it clear that lunch is LUNCH.

I understand your apprehension and given his history would not even entertain the idea of reconciling with him for a split second....but I would entertain the thought that he just needs a friend.

[Bookworm]

Yes, I'd go and meet up with him Beaux.
Like you say, you were hurt pretty bad by this guy at the time, and it has always niggled at you, so you can deal with that emotion, whilst at the same time offering him comfort as a friend for his recent loss.

I've been in a slightly similar situation, although the time period was alot less and he wasn't grieving, and I went and met up with him. I found the experience very cathartic as I realised I was so over him. This guy had really messed with me emotionally and it had plagued my mind for quite awhile afterwards and I needed release, and I really got it! I realised the whole experience had made me much stronger and he was no longer able to manipulate me (and he knew it). I could have stayed in touch after that but I chose to just move on and put it behind me and break contact, but it really helped me along having that catch up with him.

[princealbertofb]

11 years is a long time and both of you have certainly grown, maybe even learnt from your past mistakes. I don't know if 'Dan' will consider what he did a mistake or just something that happened and made you two split up, but I was going to agree with East that you owe it to yourself to forgive him for teaching you that hard-life lesson (but maybe it will also be an opportunity to thank him for letting you go). You don't say who left who, in the end and whether you were in control of that decision or whether it was him, but you will certainly get closure if that's what you need.

If, on the contrary something is rekindled, well you've been bitten, so you must be twice shy now, and certainly more mature and knowledgeable, and I reckon less easy to manipulate and con.

However, I'm thinking that if things go better between you than you expected, and if you find that some of the old feelings spring back, I wouldn't let it surprise me because after all if you were together in the first place, it must have been for a reason.

You are surely warier and wiser now to know how you feel and what you are going to let yourself in for. If it's just a friendship and a shoulder for him to cry on, so be it. If you're going to get closure and never seen him again, so be it. If you end up rekindling an old passion because it's right for both of you at this time in your lives, well, enjoy it.

I think that it can't be bad for you to find out what's happened during all these years. You said you were curious. Here's a golden opportunity to quench that thirst.

(I liked the idea of meeting at lunchtime, so you had an excuse to get away sooner if necessary... I hope it won't be necessary).
Good luck with the apointment.

[drobs]

Probably a little late but... meet for drinks or coffee.

If things are going poorly you can run away faster than a meal that has a bill you have to wait for.

Learned that the hardway way back when. Met a troll off Gay.com who looked nothing like his picture or the stats he gave in the chat, I got stuck paying the bill for the food!!! :mad::mad::mad: