No string attached

[Anonymous]

So here is the story:

I knew this one cute Italian mix with Hispanic guy on a website 6 days ago. When we first started talking it was just like we gave each other compliment about our looks. He lives 2 hours away from me and I had no intention of having a relationship or going to distance for someone as I am a busy person. I bet he thinks the same way too. Then he told me "come here and take advantage of me". That was when everything started. I took that sentence and started flirting back. He had 3 days off from work and we texted each other like hundreds of message during that 3 days. At first, they were all about sex. Kind of like how he would like me to fuck him, how we would have sex, we traded some pics...blah blah. It was all about sex and fantasies at first. Then the conversation got sweeter and sweeter. We talked about how we may go on date or he wanted to be my man. But as I said, it was all about sex even though there were a moment he made me smile.
Then on the last day of his 3 days off, I got some incident at my house so I could sleep in my own house. I decided to drive to visit him ( it was at 10 pm lol ) . I had been there and done that, and I was not desperate for sex that I would drive at midnight just to fuck someone. If I just want to have sex, it would be much easier for me to pick up a local guy. (as about myself, I am 20, good shape, good looking, out going). But he made me fall for him somehow.

I made that trip to his place ( a studio) but he had friends sleeping inside so we couldn't get in to do anything. We drove to a park ( like very close to downtown of a big city lol ) and we had sex on the back seat of my car. It was the first time both me and him had sex in public ( anal sex ) and it was amazing. It was like both of our fantasy became reality.

Before we had sex, I told him that I may not want to have sex with him right away because I wanted him to be in my life a little bit longer. But he told me then just have sex with him and fuck him really good so he would want it more.
After we had sex, I asked him if I got approved for the next time. He said "you were really good, you earned the next one".
Then I drove him back to his place and I went to meet a friend in town as he will have to work early the next morning. Before he got off, we kissed each other good bye and he asked me "you will be here to see me tomorrow right?". I said "yes, I will wait till you get off work".

That was the last time I saw him.
The next morning, I texted him, he told me he won't be able to see me as he had some extra services to do for customers. I told him I would wait for that also, he told me it would be late and I should just drive back to my house ( 2 hours away). He told me next time, we can schedule something when he is not busy and we will have the whole day.
I felt kinda offended about that and I let him know. He said "sorry".

After that, our text were less and less. We almost not talk the whole day today. He said he had some trouble with sleeping and he was busy. He gave me his schedule earlier so I knew he will have 3 days off on the middle of next week. So I asked if he wanted me to come over. He told me he would need to check if he would be busy. Obviously, he is not interested in me as much anymore.

It was all about sex in the beginning so I can't blame him for anything. It is just I don't know what is wrong with me. Why am I expecting something from someone like that? I am not a fool about relationship but somehow this feeling about him is so different.
I just know I want him in my life more than just a fuck buddy. ( which may not even happen now ).
does anyone know how to end this feeling? or what to do?

[AttackOfTheMark]

Mm, I empathize with the situation; I actually was in the "other"'s position in this situation, I had a few things come up and couldn't meet with a friend (my current roommate/partner, actually!) but I didn't tell him before he was at our meeting spot. It tore him up, just like it's eating at you, to want something so bad but not be able to have it as often as possible. The best thing to do would be for you to straight-up ask him, "Would you be with me again sometime?" It's a blunt question and may not wield the answer you want, but it'll guarantee you an answer.

I can, however, let you know that the feeling never ends. If he is trying to avoid you, it'll eat him up to know that someone out there wanted to be with him and he ruined it. If he isn't, he'll tell you that he's busy and will just need some time.

It's a little difficult to recommend what you do in this situation as there are a lot of free-reign variables, but the absolute worst that can happen is that he says no. And while it may hurt you then, all it's going to do is save you from feeling the same thing x50 later down the road if it isn't really what you both want.

-Mark

[East]

Sometimes people will say whatever they have to say in order to get what they want...it is part of life. To learn this earlier than later will give you alot of inner peace and understanding....

...I always think we have a choice in how we are going to deal with something so my advice is to make a choice to see him as a gift and a learning lesson ...silently thank him for the great f*ck and the lesson and move on....a little stronger and a little wiser.

[posterpicture]

So I am the OP, I just like to post it as Anonymous in this section.

You are right Mark, you are obviously not my Mr. Right. with all of the distance, and even when we talk, it 's not like indept conversation. Just sex. I think this is the best way to save my time and energy.

And I think your advice is great East, I have no longer being bitter about man that passed by my life. I think instead of seeing them as mistakes, I should see them as gifts and valuable experience that I gained. Well, as for the fuck, it was great, tight and thrilling. Amazing experience ;D

[interesting]

I'm glad that you see the silver lining lol, a great one night stand, and unfortunately, that does sounds like that's all it was. Sucks because it seems you wanted more out of the relationship (or what could have been a relationship), but why is it that you have sex with him the 1st time you guys meet?

I agree with East, a life learning experience it is, with great sex that is, and that's just the sunshine on a stormy day.