emotional relapse

[Anonymous]

So there is this guy who I have had this crush on for years. He's a close friend of mine, he's in a committed relationship with a girl, and he's thoroughly straight. I know that having sex with him is not in the realm of possibility. That said, I'm at an age where I'm really craving my first sexual experience, there is nobody on earth I'm more comfortable being around than this guy, and the fact that he's very physically attractive had led to several years of conflict and confusion within myself.

So I tried to rid myself of the crush. We are separated by substantial physical distance. I text and facebook him frequently, he is my friend after all, but not seeing him every day like I do at home has definitely helped me at least stop obsessing about him day and night.

At least this was the case until this past night, when out of the blue I had a very graphic dream about the two of us, and now I feel like I've been set back several steps. I am really tired of being hung up on something I can never have. I feel like I might as well have spent the past five years sulking because I can't afford a Ferrari Enzo. It's a stupid attraction and I should frankly get the hell over it, but for some reason I'm having trouble. Has anyone else here had success in completely ridding themselves of crushes? Thanks for the support.

[Merging]

well actually yes I have had very similar problem with a good friend I had in high school.

You see I am straight and she was a lesbian in a relationship I tried what you did physical distance etc. but it just didn't work.So as she was my good I talked to her about my attraction problem and really hearing her gently turn me down just hearing her say it I started to eventually lose my attraction to her but even to this day we are in different states remain great friends I really hope this helps

[toomuch45]

yes plenty back in my high school i had dreams about both men and women (the ones i liked)
but they all had bfs down the line so it was really easy for me to get over my attraction to them plus its like they barely talked to me anyway but usually i didnt have a lot of friends and i was alone most of my time there plus no one hardly knew me i was like a ghost in school.

[East]

Has anyone else here had success in completely ridding themselves of crushes?

LOL.....I could write a couple volumes on this topic but I am not sure we are coming from the same place. I was surrounded by sexy available men every night from the time I was 20-40 so I had a serious crush thing happening and I eventually questioned it because it occurred to me that the three men who I had/have relationships with that I truly loved I never had a crush on...and the one abusive asshole I was with is the one I had a crush on...and the other men I had a crush on and went out with I realized I didn't even like them though in my mind I was infatuated with them...and in the spirit of being true to myself I consciously began to deconstruct and "decrush" myself. It took a few years but I got past it. The thing that inspired me to overcome this... I hated that any man could have that much power over me. I hated that I would drop everything I was doing to give these guys I had serious crushes on all my attention...I hated that I thought about them all the freakin time. I hated that I was building pedestals for these men and idealizing them. Judging from what you write..your crush might be coming from a different place so I am not sure any further advice would be useful but I wish you luck.