Being a school teacher and being gay.

[mrk2010]

Hey guys,

As a lot of guys I have recently spoken to on here know I came out this week with great success and I am enjoying being an out gay man. However today I have been preparing for my application for teacher training to become a science teacher and thought, "are gay teachers out in the classroom?" It's been bugging me a bit today and I am wondering if anyone has any input? Personally I would have thought a teacher would have to remain professional and say to a student that they were being inappropriate if they asked a teacher if they were gay. As you know kids are persistent and curious and may ask probing questions especially in their teen years (the age groups I want to teach). To an extent I would want to say "yes I am gay", without talking about more personal aspects of my life. I also thought if I were to say I was a gay man it may lay to rest fears of kids who were in the closet I would be teaching that everything would be ok and perhaps I could be a positive gay role model for them. In articles I read online, in the U.S some teachers were dismissed for disclosing their sexuality which I feel is wrong as they weren't being inappropriate.

If anyone has any input or are a gay school teacher or knows a gay school teacher, feel free to respond I would very much like to hear your experiences. mile:

[SleepTalker]

I dont have any experiences with this, but i feel it is really unnecessary to dismiss a teacher for disclosing their sexuality. I agree, I think telling your class will help the students afraid to come out of the closet.

[Merging]

I don't see any problem with being honest to your students about your sexuality also it is wrong for a school to dismiss a teacher for being gay I mean come on its no different if a straight man or women was teaching the class

[musicman2229]

Well maybe it depends on the age group? If they're second graders, maybe it's not a great idea to discuss it. If they're high school kids, maybe it could help them. I kind of doubt whether any grade school kid would be brave enough to ask their teacher if he was gay, but if a student approached you about it seeking your advice on something, I would be as open with them as possible while understanding some parents can be very homophobic and VERY sue-happy. Help the students, but cover your back.

[sweetlad2010]

Hey, my friend Rikki is a teaching assistant at a special education school, and this is what he has to say:

I am out to my colleagues but due to the level of understanding of some of the students I work with I tend not to discuss my sexuality with them. However one young lad with Down Syndrome occasionally playfully jokes with me about me having a girlfriend - I respond with honesty saying I do not, but he never asks why.

Being in such a position as to claim we can "mentor" or "help" vulnerable people - especially in an educative position - I do believe we should be honest and not hold ourselves back as if we have something to hide, thus keeping ourselves seperate. If we are to be so Self-Knowing as to be willing to stand at the head of a class of curious young people and claim the right to "educate" them - tell a them to sit down and learn bunch of facts that WE think they should know - we should also be willing to help and encourage them to explore what THEY want to know. Conversation.

Obviously you have to judge the situation - the particular individuals who are asking; what you think their reasons are for asking; the present situation/scenario (lesson, breaktime etc); how much you think they can understand; what the possible consequences may be; precisely how much information you think it would be appropriate to share; and for what reason - is it to help them, or is it for your own benefit.

Naturally of course, you should consider how comfortable or nervous you feel in sharing. When put on the spot, as kids and teenagers do to people, it does make one a little nervous and so the instant response may be to deny being gay. Of course, it is like coming out again, so you should do it when you feel ready.

Counsellors share their own experiences with their clients, but only to an extent as to help the client by offering empathy, the ability to relate. And they judge the situation and what is appropriate.

I am moving class next year, to a primary class of six severely Autistic youngsters, so it would not be possible to share such information. But if I were to stay in my current department (the teenagers), would I be willing to share that part of myself with the lad with Down Syndrome? I would like to be honest with him, of course. Though I would be nervous. Why should we keep disabled people in the dark? If I can help him understand, then great.

Be humble - remember you're a human being who is learning too, just as much as your students will be. Learning is to be shared.

Another matter to consider would be parents - this would be one of the consequences to consider.

[mrk2010]

The students would be of high school age (the education system is different in the UK), as for kids not being brave asking about a teachers personal life, it seems like in England they will ask you anything, when I was on work experience the kids were asking if I was single haha. Like I said I'm applying to be a teacher and I have a few fears that's all.

When I was at school I remember my teacher showing us slide shows of her trips to Borneo to help with our biology lessons and there were pictures of her husband and we asked her who he was and she told us. Yes I would want to do the same but I would feel apprehensive of bringing my personal life into the classroom. Really I would hope the kids saw me as a normal human being who happens to be gay, but kids these days seem to rely on stereotypes.

[mrk2010]

Thank you sweet lad for asking your friend, it means a lot. The students I would be working with would be typical comprehensive school kids so they would understand more than special needs kids. In no way do I want to flaunt my sexuality in a manner which is unacceptable. If a kid asked I think I would probably say something like "yes I am, I'm still your teacher, so let's get on with today's topic".

[ardus]

This is an interesting question, and any course of action in this case has its own rewards and benefits. Instead of suggesting a course of action I think I'll just tell you about me. I'm a Staff Sergeant in the United States Army, an Infantry Squad Leader. It's a position of a great deal of responsibility and trust as I am entrusted with the lives of 8 other men, and with their training, growth and professional development. Now Army culture being what it is, I wouldn't be able to tell my soldiers that I like men, but, that doesn't stop me from wanting to. I think a lot of it is I'm tired of not being able to tell the truth, I hate lying about myself, especially as I try to always be honest with my men, particularly about myself, as I have found that when you're trying to teach someone something, it helps a lot if they can relate to you and to experiences that you have in common. Where this really irks me is that in the US, our culture seems to view anyone who is not the norm as a dangerous deviant. What really kills me about it is, it doesn't matter that I like men, it doesn't change the way I do my job, but it's an aspect of my life that I can't share with the people I am closer to than anyone else in the world.
Richard

[Gabbyboy]

ok i hope this will help too, the person who help me "come out" was my engineering gay professor, and no one questions him because he was so good in his work that other schools was trying to hire him.

so i would say "yes"just be open and because you will help struggling students who are still battling with their sexuality, however you may encounter students that could fall in love with you so be careful my teacher had a lot of students trying to court him...

[dfiant]

There are so many grey areas of this issues. I would like to think our socities have come far enough that issues like sexuality are not issues, but in an environment where there are children, anything that is different is a chance to ridicule, you just need one student to start the ball rolling if they have a problem with your sexuality. And then there is 'The Parents' situation

On the other hand, it could be a positive thing to be open and honest, not only will students trust you, the students that most need a role model may just find one in you.

Trust your own judgement in all situations I think would be the best advice to offer you, and don't forget that your students have parents.