Falling out of love

[Sil]

Hey guys and girls, hope you're all well; been off here for a while, nice to be back...

and my first post is a bit whiney... I'm approaching the five year mark with my hubby, and I'm starting to get 'the itch' a little bit. I'm not sure if I want to break up with him but lately we had a big fight, and when we were on the verge of ending it I felt kinda free and happy, like a weight off my shoulders. We sorted it out and settled back into things, but I dunno. Over all the years I've loved him a lot but it feels so uncertain at the minute. I gotta admit I think about sex with other people, and he's semi-supportive of that, he's not a prude.

It's more of a logical thing - I feel like I should be happier with him. I don't know if it's the length of time or boredom or frustration. He's met my parents, talked about a future together, a lot of long term things. I'm not really scared of commitment but in this case it's a worry right now.

He's quite immature, reactionary, not too bright, and increasingly sexless and joyless. He's also caring, sweet, got a body I love, and cares for me more than anyone except family. It's a tough call. Sounds a lot like marriage :tongue:

any advice welcome, thanks in advance x

[fenris]

Hi Sil...

in every relationship you have ups and downs ... thats normal and honestly: If you starts a new relationship it takes only time and you are back on this point. It needs a other way of talking with him .. honest.... and a other way of thinking from your side: Where are the mistakes... what did he ( or did you ) that maybe hurt him or you.
Love change.... but if you both don´t start to become selfish in a problematic time - the love gets better with much more freedom and more caring....

And if you both are thinking about sex with other men ... talk about that and if you both want to do it.... it should not be a problem as long as you both know that you both are the couple and the other is a friend.... and you both have no reason to be jealous...

[dfiant]

You need to sit down and have a chat as Fenris says. I'm not a huge fan of playing outside a relationship, but each to their own, and if the both of you are in agreement then give it a try...but ask yourself is it really going to help the relationship or will it create distance between the 2 of you? Be careful with this one, I have seen this issue going from a good idea to spice up a relationship to being what ends relationships.

How much time have you spent away from each other? A holiday from each other might help.

But ultimately you have to work out what really is going on and why you are feeling this way. From what I am reading there is still something there that is worth saving.

Good luck