I've been out to several of my relatives for while, now i feel i need to tell my homophobic relatives. I know that many of them will probably not talk to me afterwards but if they don't like me then they didn't really like me now. I'm probably going to do it over the phone just to be a little safe. I thinking about doing it in the next few days. Does anyone have any advice that i could use beforehand?
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Why bother coming out to homophobes?
Obviously the people that love you and care about you already know, why bring hate into you life when you obviously already have so much love?
I wouldn't do it.
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It's my grandparents mostly. Whenever I'm around them they bring up things that are hard to disagree with and still be straight. I don't want to lie to them when they bring things up. I feel that staying in the closet in the face of opposition is not the right thing to do, i would rather be hated for who i am the loved for something I'm not. And if i tell them, they may eventuality get over it, but it won't happen if they don't know.
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I have been in your position and I know exactly what you must be feeling.
I came out to those I felt comfortable coming out to, the homophobic relatives found out eventually and after time accepted it. If I came out to them and they reacted badly it would have hurt my feelings, and that to me was worse then keeping quiet and suffering a few awkward moments.
Go for the option that will hurt less and keep you smiling most.
I stand by what I said, don't bother ;-)
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I am here:
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If you feel like you want to tell them and are ready to take the risk of them not speaking to you again, go ahead! Good luck! :]
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There is another way to come out to others. Instead of trying to shove the truth down someone else's throat, which may make them dislike you. Try using an indirect approach; this works wonders with people who can't handle the truth anyway. How do you tell people indirectly? Drop subtle clues.
Like one day I wanted a friend to know that I was gay but I wasn't sure if they could take the news well or not. So I said, right in the middle of a conversation, "And my ex, he told me that you can always count on your friends to make life better."
Notice that I am male and I said my ex was a "he". But I never said that I was gay, directly. This gives the listener the chance to understand me without being offended.
So don't just say, "Hi, I'm gay!" which can hurt some people. Be respectful of their feelings and introduce the subject gently by saying what you want to say, but indirectly so it doesn't run your friends and loved ones off. Protect your relationships. Be refined. Drop subtle clues. Don't just blurt out something because you want to.
Remember, people still prefer to shoot the messenger! Don't get shot! LOL!
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i would rather be hated for who i am the loved for something I'm not.
What you are is your grandparents' flesh and blood. You carry their DNA and you are their future.
You can choose to tell them or not, but in the end, if they reject you, it is their shame and their problem, NOT YOURS. This goes for any relative.
Good luck to you on your journey...
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I told my grandmother and she took it much better then i thought. It took a little convincing her that i was really gay, but i seem to have that problem a lot though. I can't believe i spent so many years worrying about how they would react.
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I guess i can give an update. Well i told my mom a few days ago. She wasn't happy but she already knew. My grandma had already told her. The only thing she said was i would grow out of it. I'm already 20 i figured i would have grown out by now. It wasn't worth arguing about so i just said i wouldn't and left it there.
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