what do you think, is this gay?

[questionman]

I am a straight man and have never been interested in men, i've always had a lot of luck with beautiful women, and the thought of a man never crossed my mind.
i have a friend, also straight and married, and, with my girlfriend at the time, the 4 of us sometimes would play some erotic games, but NEVER with any interaction between the two men. Clearly this is somebody i was comfortable with given the games with the wife and gf.
He got divorced, and later i broke up with my gf.
one night this guy and i were at my house by ourselves, and got really drunk and fucked up, and he suggested we should fool around, which took me completely by surprise, but i was really wasted, and went along with it. we took our clothes off, and next thing i know, i am sucking his cock! and though it wasn't my idea, i must say i didn't dislike it at the time, being drunk played a big part, and i even told him since i was experimenting, that he could come in my mouth, but he did not want to.
i guess i was excited by the fact that his cock was huge, and i had never held another cock in my hand, let alone my mouth! so i sucked him off for a while, and he loved it, but didn't come in my mouth, he played with my dick, and that was about it.
when we sobered up we were both so embarassed by what had happened that we told each other we had crossed a line, and we were never able to see each other again because we were i guess both embarassed. i know we shouldn't have, but that's the way it was.
the following days i felt really ashamed about what had happened, then the thing kinda faded away.
years after, i have not seen my friend again, and have never been attracted to any other men (infact, i wasn't really attracted to him either, except for his big dick), i would never do this again cause i am not interested, except maybe if it were to happen with him, which it won't. i guess the fact that we are both completely straight is a factor.
however, when i think about that night now, i find it kind of exciting, and occasionally i watch some gay porn and am reminded.
i have no interest in men, i don't think that one experience makes gay or bi, but wanted to know your opinion!

[Merging]

Well you are what you say you are if you say you you are a straight man who simply had an erotic experience with a friend then that's exactly what it is

[questionman]

I agree but wanted to hear some expert opinions.
Also, I have never told a soul about this, so this was a way to "unload" my secret, even though I no longer feel bad about it.
Infact, that night, once I had made the decision to go along with my friend's idea, I was ready to experiment more broadly (that's why I asked him to come in my mouth), and was kinda disappointed he backed down after getting the whole thing started.
i figured, if you wanna know if something is for you or not, you have to try it once (with many exceptions of course) in order to make an informed decision... so i probably would have gone a bit further too. Clearly though there was no kissing or anything like that. THAT i would not have been comfortable with.
So now after many years, my only regret about that night is that it was not a complete experience, although i would then not have wanted to repeat it, so in theory if we ever saw each other, i would probably do it once more (only with him) on the condition that we can try whatever. No big deal, just thinking out loud.
i am also not sure what indicator is the fact that i would rather suck this man's cock and swallow his cum than kiss him anywhere... any ideas on that?

[fenris]

At first... I´m not an expert :-) Nobody can be a expert for you if he don´t know you and don´t know your soul. What I can tell you is, that there is nothing to feel bad .... You have done nothing wrong.... both of you have done it by their free will.
Who knows why you have done it ... maybe you needed the strenght of a men... you know : feeling protected. Or you have done it just for fun.... and when you have done it just for fun: It is Ok . nothing to feel bad.. or ashamed... embarrassed or whatever....

If you want ... only if you want ... think about it ... did you like it .. did you dislike it ... and if you feel that you dislike it, try that you have not another situation like this. But if you liked it ... and you can decide for yourself that it is and was Ok ... then you should think about your own sexuality ... maybe you are bisexual.... and can learn more about you and your own being.

Sure is : If you never force someone into something sexual ... it is OK and nothing to be ashamed

Gay .. bi .. straight ... there are more colors as black and white ... so don´t try to find only one color for you... maybe you are white ..with a bit black... or only grey.... or one of the 1000 mixed colors....

[questionman]

No, feeling protected had nothing to do with it, it was one night only, so we did it for fun (with a lot of help from booze etc.)
i didn't like it at the time, but it could also be that i was ashamed/surprised and that influenced me.
for some reason, now, years later, when i think about it i find it very sexy, although i would never want to do it again with someone else (or him for that matter, except like i said maybe once just to see what all the other activities feel like), anyway, guess i'll never know... i never thought this would happen to me to begin with...

[East]

Really simple answer here...I am gay...I have had sex with women on multiple occasions when I used to drink because I was horny. I never have fantasized about them again. I am definitely gay....I am kind of a slut though at heart so that might be a possible answer. That is what I wrote it off as..it wasn't a gay or straight thing..it was a slut thing.

[questionman]

Thanks.
I am looking forward to hearing other opinions, since that was my only gay experience ever, so I guess I won't be able to post much else...
Questions welcome too if needed.

[ZackT]

Well, do you know why you feel it was sexy? You have said that you found his big cock sexy...not so much the rest of him though, from what I understand. Maybe it's not so much a gay or straight thing, maybe it's just primal attraction to something "powerful" or something more instinctual than actual thought.

Or maybe you stumbled across the fact that you love the cock.



Course, you listed yourself as being in a monogamous straight relationship, so I doubt there's much room for you to go out and expirement even if you wanted to. But I dunno, I'd think it's something you might enjoy if you tried it again. But maybe it had more to do with the bond between you guys than the sex or cock itself. Who knows man, like the guys above said, it's something only you will really be able to tell for sure.

[questionman]

i don't know why i found it sexy, in a way it was like a porno maybe, but at the time i had mixed feelings about the whole thing... i was drunk and high, and that always makes you horny, but the next day i hated the thought, it took me years to come to terms with the fact that it was no big deal, and that there was a big sexy component to the whole thing.
now the thought of that night is a turn-on, but i would not wanna do that with anybody else, certainly not a gay person. this friend and i were close, we even had a threesome with my ex-gf before this happened, so i guess i felt like there was no gay component in all this, whatever that means, nothing, i know.
i am just very surprised that after 5 years now i think i would do it one more time with him just so we could have the complete experience, which we didn't.
funnily enough, when we had that threesome with my ex gf, it was again him who backed out and refused to try DP even though we were dying to try that. go figure.
oh and i listed myself as monogamous straight relationship because i couldn't find "straight single", but i am single so i could do whatever i wanted, just not interested.

[ZackT]

Oh ok

Well hey, that's great then. Sounds like you're pretty comfortable with your sexuality overall, especially now that you've come to terms with your experience. Not too many guys I know who can admit that they'd be ok to do a DP, or would admit to maybe considering it. Most guys seem to think that it's too close to another guy for their comfort. I personally would be comfortable with it (being Bi and all), but I worry more about the actual performance and not if my balls are touching someone else's...

We're all a little gay I think for a lot of people though, it takes a very very very particular someone to sway us that way. Others are the opposite, in that it'd take a very particular someone to sway them straight.