This is all so strange to me, up until I was 13 or so I was attracted exclusively to women, then I started having all these fantasies of men, they just crept up on me! Now, most every time I'm pleasuring myself I have to think of dudes to finish. Am I really gay, bi, or just confused? I'm not sure how to determine all this. How do I start? I've never been with a man but a part of me greatly desires it, I'm not sure if this the path I truly want to take. Any suggestions?
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Up until puberty I guess your attraction to girls was defined by society. We grow up in a very heterosexual society and that is what most, if not all of us grow up thinking...BUT then the hormones kick in and SEX clashes with what society expects of us, and they don't always match up, why do you think any adult would not wish to be a teenager ever again?
The question you are ultimately asking can only be answered by 1 single person in this world of 7 billion opinions. YOU.
So, what do you think, are you gay, bi or confused? How does this make you feel?
Forget about Mum, dad, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts mates for just a few moments because this moment is entirely about YOU...so what do YOU think? 
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You won't know till you try it, but our sexuality is about more than just who we have sex with. For years I had clandestine encounters with men, but never considered that I might be gay, merely opportunistic. However, when feelings and emotions get involved and one realises that these feelings are real it is time to think again.
There are clues throughout our lives, though. You say you need fantasy men to orgasm.
If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck ...
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Quote:So, what do you think, are you gay, bi or confused? How does this make you feel?
Still very much confused, lol. I think I'm bi, though, in the sense that when I see I woman I perceive as attractive, I have an involuntary physical reaction (boner).
Quote:If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck ...
I see what you mean, although I heard a theory that one possible reason for someone to turn out gay is if they are trying to compensate for their own subconsciously perceived lack of virility, or perhaps a lack of attention from their father. I'm not saying I ascribe to those theories at all, but they are interesting. Obviously, someone's past very much defines them psychologically (not to mention biological, and genetic factors but this isn't a science forum so I won't bore anyone!). It just occurs to me that there are multiple reasons for the same thing.
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The important thing to remember is that if ur gay/bi, it's nothing to feel ashamed about. U are who u are! Because of the fact that u've went for girls previously, u might feel that being bi is the direction for u. But as the others say, u wont know untill u try it! Ask yourself "How would I feel being with another guy?" Yeah at first u might feel really weird about the whole situation but once u get over the initial shock of the whole thing, can u see urself being happy with a guy? The decision can only be made by u, but try not to deny urself too much! 
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dfiant Wrote:Up until puberty I guess your attraction to girls was defined by society. We grow up in a very heterosexual society and that is what most, if not all of us grow up thinking...BUT then the hormones kick in and SEX clashes with what society expects of us, and they don't always match up, why do you think any adult would not wish to be a teenager ever again?
The question you are ultimately asking can only be answered by 1 single person in this world of 7 billion opinions. YOU.
So, what do you think, are you gay, bi or confused? How does this make you feel?
Forget about Mum, dad, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts mates for just a few moments because this moment is entirely about YOU...so what do YOU think?
You really have to consider what you want, but most of all not rush into anything right off the bat. Many straight guys have gay experiences and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Also you will never know unless you have tried as they say. But ultimately it's your choice and life. Good luck buddy.  mile:
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So if I understand you well, until the age of thirteen you were attracted to girls and then for the next 13 years you've gradually developed a penchant for men.... Only, why is the question arising only now, at 26? What experiences of romance have you had until now? Have you kept yourself to yourself all this time?
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If a woman gives you a boner, but you also get off thinking about men, you are most likely bi, the question is what percentage of you prefers men and what percentage prefers women. It's often hard to think about the same-sex stuff growing up due to what society teaches, many of us here went through similar phases of being confused. I myself realized in college and it was hard to accept at first, but eventually I realized that I couldn't change it and that it wouldn't change me into some stereotype... there are all sorts of guys out there and it's perfectly natural to be attracted to whatever/whoever you're attracted to - guys, gals or both.
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Do you really wanna put a label on it? And the guys are right, you won't know till you try. Give yourself the freedom to be anything - you might just like it. Explore your sexuality and be happy with it. :]
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jbrowder24 Wrote:If a woman gives you a boner, but you also get off thinking about men, you are most likely bi, the question is what percentage of you prefers men and what percentage prefers women. It's often hard to think about the same-sex stuff growing up due to what society teaches, many of us here went through similar phases of being confused. I myself realized in college and it was hard to accept at first, but eventually I realized that I couldn't change it and that it wouldn't change me into some stereotype... there are all sorts of guys out there and it's perfectly natural to be attracted to whatever/whoever you're attracted to - guys, gals or both.
True, it's the percentage that ultimately counts. I just don't want to go down the wrong path believing I'm something I'm not, I suppose experience is the best teacher. Although, at 26 I'm still a virgin, due to social anxiety and, of course, the confusion of what my orientation is.
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