my mother

[red06sc]

so im sure im not the only one with the problem, my and this cowork, who is a female get along really good, but im not so much into girls. My mom is starting to really push me to try to start dating her, and now has my sister doing it also, its like really starting to get to me. i dont want to come out to them yet, as im not ready, and i dont know how they will take it. they also are pushing me to have a kid :eek:. So pretty much just wondering if anyone else has gone threw this, or just advise.

[Marvinteck]

I was in a similar situation. Shortly after my 25th birthday my whole family began saying:

"Dont you think it is time to find a girl to settle down with and start a family?"

My best advice to you would be tell your family you like the freedom of being single and are happy being a bachelor. It worked for me.

[dfiant]

I haven't had that problem, but like Marvinteck said.

And perhaps you could add 'We get along so well why sacrifice a great friendship and risk ruining it with a relationship.'

Just a few things to say 'I'm not ready yet.'

[red06sc]

thanks guys! She really just confuses me, one day its in a joking manner- " are you gay? if so ill still love you" then the next its some gay bashing, and of course it hurts when they do stuff like that. i just want to move away from everyone.

[marshlander]

I'm still trying to remember that gay-bashing is not actually gay-bashing in your country :confused:

Of course she still loves you. It sounds like she knows anyway and is trying to provoke you into getting off the fence. It is amazing how the offensive remarks often stop when someone in the family really is gay. Blood is often thicker than stupidity.

[rakmatis]

Does your coworker know you are not into her? I dont know about your family but I know mine is the type to get REALLY involved. they would talk to her on thier own XD

but on the flip side, Im 23, enlisted, and have no interest in finding a girl and startingg a family. Ive actually found a boy instead and plan on marrying him

When I finally tell my family im pretty sure a few minds will be blown. You could always take my route. Funny thing is I seem so straight nobody has EVER questioned my sexuality...

[Paul1]

@red06sc: What sort of negative remarks has your mother made about homosexuality? If she said "If you're gay, I will still love you" it seems pretty clear that it wouldn't result in an absolute melt down.

[red06sc]

The convo with me and this cowork has never even came up, and as far as the comments, its just really hard to get a feel for how she is when one days its i love you, then the next being gay is wrong....so its like she builds me up to be ok with it, then does a complete change and lets me back down.
@marshlander- i really think sometimes she knows, but then she says stuff that makes me really rethink it.

[marshlander]

... @marshlander- i really think sometimes she knows, but then she says stuff that makes me really rethink it.

This life thing's a bit of a puzzle sometimes

[red06sc]

This life thing's a bit of a puzzle sometimes

ah very true, but what fun it is...