08-31-2011, 09:35 PM
My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months and Iâve never liked anyone as much as him. Heâs the first guy Iâve loved unconditionally and often it feels I could spend the rest of my life with him.
The problem is that even though we both fancy each other a lot he refuses to bottom for me. Iâm completely versatile myself meaning I like it and need it both ways and in roughly equal proportions. Iâve made this very clear to my boyfriend but despite listening to me he hasnât made any effort to work on this. Iâve tried to explain him how I feel and also tried to get him interested with some light proactive play in the bedroom but heâs clearly uncomfortable with the whole idea of being a bottom. I also recently told him that Iâm feeling frustrated and neglected but to no avail. I feel Iâve done everything I can to solve this and Iâm starting to lose all hope.
Part of me understands that he has no previous experience, especially as I only started bottoming myself when I was 24 (Iâm 26 now and my bf is 21). Then again all my partners before that were happy with me being the top so it never had to come to me refusing to bottom for anyone. Also at age 24 when I did start bottoming I did it both because Iâd always been curious and also because I knew my bf at the time wanted it even though he never tried to persuade me into it. It was more about me anticipating his needs.
So itâs been 8 months now and Iâve become sexually frustrated and unsatisfied. After trying to approach this with my bf Iâve started to believe that heâs not that interested in me having a good time at all. This whole thing is messing with my head so much because Iâve always seen him as very caring and selfless, I also know that he fancies me very much and he definitely wants to be boyfriends with me. I really donât know what to do about this. I know some couples have agreed to have open relationships to deal with these sorts of problems but this is definitely not what I want, definitely not at age 26!!
Any comments or thoughts would be most appreciated!
The problem is that even though we both fancy each other a lot he refuses to bottom for me. Iâm completely versatile myself meaning I like it and need it both ways and in roughly equal proportions. Iâve made this very clear to my boyfriend but despite listening to me he hasnât made any effort to work on this. Iâve tried to explain him how I feel and also tried to get him interested with some light proactive play in the bedroom but heâs clearly uncomfortable with the whole idea of being a bottom. I also recently told him that Iâm feeling frustrated and neglected but to no avail. I feel Iâve done everything I can to solve this and Iâm starting to lose all hope.
Part of me understands that he has no previous experience, especially as I only started bottoming myself when I was 24 (Iâm 26 now and my bf is 21). Then again all my partners before that were happy with me being the top so it never had to come to me refusing to bottom for anyone. Also at age 24 when I did start bottoming I did it both because Iâd always been curious and also because I knew my bf at the time wanted it even though he never tried to persuade me into it. It was more about me anticipating his needs.
So itâs been 8 months now and Iâve become sexually frustrated and unsatisfied. After trying to approach this with my bf Iâve started to believe that heâs not that interested in me having a good time at all. This whole thing is messing with my head so much because Iâve always seen him as very caring and selfless, I also know that he fancies me very much and he definitely wants to be boyfriends with me. I really donât know what to do about this. I know some couples have agreed to have open relationships to deal with these sorts of problems but this is definitely not what I want, definitely not at age 26!!
Any comments or thoughts would be most appreciated!