Very scared, I feel insecure a out my life

[geno]

Two months ago I registered at a dating site and very soon one boy contacted me. We started to know each other over the Internet. He sent me tens of photos of him with girl clothes and without clothes. He wanted pictures of me, but then something turned up, after that I went to the seaside, then I had family problems, so I never saw him. It was a few days ago that I got new message from him. I decided that if he had sent me tens of photos, why shouldn't I sent him 2. He started saying how cute I was, how big my penis was, and he melted my heart. He asked me for my cell phone number, and stupidly enough I gave it to him. So now he knows my name, two of my emails, and my mobile number.

Last night my father and I, were watching a movie when my phone rung. It was a blocked number. I picked up the phone. It was a man in his 30's. After he said he was the man from the dating site, I realized that he was not the man he was saying he was. I said no, and hung up. He called me a few seconds later. He told me "unlike you, I am not a 10-year old boy, and I don't play kindergarten tricks." He said that he will trace me, I replied with a no. I found it difficult to talk or listen to the person. He eventually said that he will find me and than I will see. I hung up and turned my phone off. I told my father that I am ok, but I didn't tell him anything more. I watched the scary movie, but kept shivering. I told my dad that it was the movie that was scarring me.

I went to bed early but hardly slept. I couldn't tell my parents, because I will have to come out, and after that I am not even sure about it. In the morning I fell asleep. When I woke up, I talked briefly with Ryan. My father and sister were going out to the shops. My mum didn't know anything. So I told her I was going out to ride my bike. I went straight to the police station. I told the woman everything, I am sure they will do something, but not much.

Now I am very scared and everything frightens me. My parents will be at home the next two days due to a holiday, but I cannot calm down. I really need help,but there is no one who can help me... I wanted to ask those who understand it, can he really trace me and find me? What to do now? I am really scared and confused. Please help me

[jeffrey]

You have to be careful! There are all kinds of nut-jobs out there. I doubt that he will do anything. Chances are, he is playing this game with several other people as well. Nevertheless, you have to take these creeps seriously. It may be a good idea if you told your father. Here in my state there was a young girl that was murdered by a guy that drove across the country in order to find her. So, yes, it can probably be done.
A while back I was talking to some guy on another site and he started telling me how he wanted to get married and have a baby. We had only talked a couple of times and he had no profile picture, but he was already wanting me to pick out his wedding dress. Not only that, he was wanting to physically have the baby!
There are a lot of very strange people out there. Be careful, and again, I suggest you talk to your father about this. He might get upset at first, but the two of you will be watching scary movies and getting along just fine before you know it.

[matty7]

lets hope hes just a sick guy that thinks its fun to scare younger boys - he cannot trace you from your mobile, but if its a prob then make up a story to your parents that you want a new number - delete your profile from that site too, but you could contact them and say this person is stalking you - they should take that serious and deal with him,,,please post how your getting on - many people here will be willing to give advice

[azulai]

Hey, geno.

Ok, I tried to think of a few things you could do. First, google your phone number and see what info you get. I did mine and the info I got was that it is a mobile number in the United States but it gave me the incorrect state.

Second thing, try a reverse phone number site. When I entered my number it showed again that the number was a mobile and the correct state but wrong county. It gave me an option to pay for the phone carrier.

So, I agree with matty, I don't think this creep can trace you from your mobile. And, like matty said, I think you should definitely report him to that site.

But, did you give him more than your first name? What about your email addresses? Do they contain your last name?

This is really scary. What did the officer at the police station say?

Please be careful. There are so many creeps out there.

[Wolf]

I am curious as to how you registered on a dating site being only 16?

Anyway i agree with jeffrey, you have to be very careful online, you could be talking to anyone. People lie online ALL the time, and there are a lot of creeps out there. And it is never a good idea to give someone your phone number online, no matter what.

I hope this guy doesn't try to find you, and i don't think a mobile phone is traceable, but i'm not sure.

I hope your doing ok, and please be careful in the future

[geno]

The police officer that spoke to me was a very cold and emotionless person. She didn't really care about me, so she gave me a piece of paper, told me to write everything, and said that she will see what she can do. She told me to go to the police station on Wednesday, to talk to another man who might help me more.

Other than that, he knows my last name, and there are only two people with that name, my grandfather and I. Plus thanks to some physics competion results on the Internet, it is very easy to find where I study.

I think I should delete all of my Internet accounts, emails, skype accounts, make new one, and change my phone number. Maybe I should tell my father, but I don't understand how to tell him after that huge family argument where I didn't talk or see both of my parents for nearly a month, and I have been talking to him only for the four passed days.

This scary thing came at very bad moment. I am very scared, but at least I was able to sleep last night. I also wanted to thank all of you for the immense help and support.

[dfiant]

Geno

This man has achieved what he set out to achieve, he scared you, and I don't blame you for being scared, if I was in your postion I would be scared too.

Go through all your internet account and remove any personal information and change all the passwords to email account and website you frequent. Change your phone number is an awesome idea too.

I have been through this with a 14 year old boy that was being stalked by a 37 year old man, he had all of the boys details. I told him to say nothing to this man other than 'I gave the police your details and they know your ISP and IP address and your phone number.'

Be extremely careful on dating websites and be careful what information you give out. Make sure you are the one who gets the other persons phone number and if you decide to call them, block your number from showing up on their phone.

I think you are pretty safe, so relax and get some sleep tonight Geno.

Keep us posted on what happen please, I'm concerned about your well being.

[marshlander]

Some good advice already, Geno, but what a very hard lesson for you to have to learn! I hope the police can offer you more compassionate support than you have received up till now. I wonder if you need support from people who are more local to you than we are? Of course, you have the wonderful Ryan (and I certainly wouldn't like to get on his wrong side :eek: ) but do you have access to any lgbt youth support group in your city? I did search for information online, but had a little trouble reading the web pages that come up ... you will appreciate that my fluency in Bulgarian is zero!! I wonder if a local youth group leader would be more able to elicit the help of the authorities without having to go through the experience you have?

The whole thing sounds like a nightmare and I think you have to treat this nasty character's threats seriously. However, HE is the one who has deceived you. He led you to believe you were in contact with someone of your own age. I am pretty sure there are probably ways through the wall a blocked phone number presents, if the authorities are serious enough to want to find the information. Other than that, I think dfiant's suggestions are very sensible.

One final thing. I know you have had some difficulty with your parents recently, but I have children and, no matter what scrapes they got themselves into I always have tried to help them. I cannot imagine a parent would be so heartless as to ignore one of their children's needs when they are in trouble. If I thought a child of mine felt unable to come to me for help I would be terribly upset!

[East]

I felt sick to my stomach reading your post geno...I had a series of stalkers when I was young and I had to take legal action against a couple of them so I know the terror you are talking about first hand.

I am afraid my advice might be prehistoric and out of touch given the entire world is online but at your age anyway....I would avoid any kind of dating site. (I would avoid it at my age as well...I need to look in someone's eyes...period)

In the case of so many much older men who like much younger guys (and girls) you are dealing with power and control. This kind of bullshit this guy did to you is an example of what happens when you are in the realm of someone who desires power and control...he has gotten into your mind and that is something that he desires. DO NOT HAVE ANY CONTACT WITH HIM and PLEASE do not go on another date site. I assume internet stalking can be just like 3-D stalking and he may pose as someone else again.

In the meantime...please follow up with the police and also please consider telling your parents. These kinds of people thrive on your silence. Any kind of act of empowering yourself is a threat to them and telling your parents is empowering which is also why they like younger guys instead of guys who have more experience under their belt and can call them on their crap. .

[geno]

I went to the police station this morning. I talked to the police officer and he became very angry when I said that I was gay. After a while another officer came and he was fine with gay people. After a while it became apparent that they won't do anything, because "there are much more important cases". They forced me to come out to my parents. So far I have told only my dad, and he took the whole story neither too good, nor too bad. He tried to show that he understands me, but I could see the small tears in his eyes and the heart broken face. I still have to tell my mum, but she is out of town, so I will wait till I come back too. For now I am going out of town, to take a break from the frightening town and to get away from technology.