I feel like my world is falling apart around me. I feel so sad...so shattered. I don't know how to put myself back together again. I live with people for circumstances I'd rather not go into and my boyfriend, who is my world, my everything, lives with his parents. The people I live with have their own issues and ended up getting mad at me for something I didn't do...now they won't let my bf come to see me anymore...he can't even visit for an hour. I can't go to his house because his parents don't like the fact that he's gay and won't let me be there. We are trying to stay together...to hang on to each other...but everyday it just seems harder and harder. We love each other so much but being apart is hurting our relationship....I feel like i just can't go on anymore...I know this probably sounds stupid to a lot of people out there...but i really feel like I can't go on without him....I don't wanna lose him....but I don't know how to see him...anyone have any advice? Thanks for listening...
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I can feel that you're not in a good place right now. Let me start with saying it will not always be this awful. Just keep your head up and focus on making it better.
So here's what you can do to make it better. Write down what you feel and why you feel that way. Then, write down a list of possible solutions. So for example:
I feel bad/sad/bothered/upset because of the people I live with. I feel this way *because* they won't let my boyfriend visit. What I can do to fix this: Find somewhere else to live, clear the air with my roommates, or visit my boyfriend somewhere other than our houses.
I feel like distance is hurting our relationship. I feel this way *because* we are used to seeing each other a lot. What I can do to fix this: Put in greater effort to see each other more, talk about being okay with seeing each other less, move closer together, hang out at a mutual friend's house, etc.
So the basic layout is "I feel _______ because __________. Some ways I can possibly fix this are ___________." List a few different options you can give yourself to make it better, I'm sure at least a few of them will be something you can try.
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Is it an option for you and your boyfriend to look for a place together?
If you are sharing accommodation with others, surely you have a say in who can and can't visit you?
How are they able to stop you from seeing him?
There's obviously some other issues here but I would be looking to move regardless and get away from such a controlling environment.
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What you say isn't stupid at all, but it leaves so many unanswered questions. What is the age of your bf? What kind of work do the two of you do?
Living with roommates can be problematic at times. It would be better if you had your own place, then you and your bf could do as you please.
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I am sick....which makes me unable to work...so I don't have money to be able to move....he works but doesn't make enough for us to live together...he's trying to get better jobs but it's hard to find work in a place like we live in...(an extremely small town)....my "roommates" take care of me right now...which is why i don't have any say in who comes and goes...I haven't even left my house in almost 6 months...I'm very much a prisoner here....and honestly I don't know what to do...
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I understand your situation. No easy solutions, but that doesn't mean there are no solutions. Perhaps you should take some time to consider your best options and go from there. I do hope you start feeling better.
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The only thing I can think of at the moment is for you and your boyfriend to meet at locations to spend time with each other.....coffeeshop, local mall, things like that.
Granted, they are places you won't be able to be intimate, but as least you'd be able to see each other. Perhaps if you brainstorm together, you could come up with a better solution.
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I wish you a speedy recovery from whatever ailments you have. Once you are back on your feet and able to work again you can start looking around for alternate accommodation.
Do you have any family in the area you can move back in with for the short term until your health returns?
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oh bless,,, adults can be such A holes alot of the time,,,,just hang in there basically ,,,you will wear them down eventualy as grown up will give in quicker that you will just to have an easier life ive found - as long as he know how you feel then just view it as a challenge ,, just make sure u win
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battling the folks is always a hard choice. but the problem doesnt sound like it resides in your working weakness, it sounds like its in your boyfriends weakness to fight for his freedom. his parents give him the roof he sleeps under, but after that what do they have left to give? nothing. he should quit being coward. if he helps pay their bills he is entitled to his freedom to come and go with whoever he pleases. and if his parents are they narrowminded then he should give them a can of "chew on this" and go against their will. or perhaps he should go on to humiliate them in the real world.
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