How to soften my features

[bariuke]

OK, I'm going to try to explain this as best I can. I'm looking for a way to soften my features. I don't hate the way I look, but I wish I could look a little less masculine.

I'm not a super manly-looking man, but I do look very much like a man. I am slim, which I am very thankful for, and I have a fairly tone body (from back when I used to exercise more and work out). I'm fine with all that, but I've always been a very feminine guy on the inside, and I often wished that I looked a bit more like how I feel.

When I was a little boy, I wanted to be a girl. This feeling has persisted for a long time. Now, I don't feel like I want to be a woman or anything; I'm happy with myself as a man, and I'm happy with my body, but I still wish that I could soften my features and feel a little more feminine.

For example: I have very light skin, dark brown hair, and a thick, fast growing beard. I hate it because after only a few hours after I've shaved the stubble already becomes visible. I really dislike this and wish I could do something about this. Wearing makeup seemed like such an absurd idea because my beard would quickly show and would look ridiculous. I have similar issues with other body hair as well (light skin, dark hair, fast growing = annoying maintenance). I've always dreamed of being able to have an androgynous, gender-bending look (not drag or anything, just somewhere in the middle), but I don't think I could pull it off without some serious work.

I have honestly thought about hormone treatment before, but I was very unsure about what the effects or results would be on someone who wants to look (and feel) more feminine but doesn't want to be transgender, and I haven't found much information concerning this either.

Does anybody have any advice or stories that they could share that could help me? Any transgender people here would be very helpful.

[Drew]

I say, own your sexuality! Be the sexiest man you can. Hormone treatment, not such a good idea; you might not have to shave as often but the hotflashes and man-boobs (not pecs) are probably not what you have in mind. Save the hormones for the truly transgendered who need it.

Work with what you can; if you need to manscape a bit more often, then just make sure to it a part of your routine. I shave/trim my armpit hair and navel/pubic area regularly, and began trimming my leg hair recently, but I still consider myself more on the neutral/masculine side. I just like the way it looks on me; it looks more balanced that way (my chest is naturally smooth so seeing hair in those other places looks weird, to me).

But be happy with who you are first and foremost. Work with what you can afterwards.

[LateBloomer]

I agree to stay away from hormones! Some things just shouldn't be toyed with. Not only that, but at the ripe age of 27, your testosterone levels are going to start coming down naturally.

My best advice is to age gracefully. It's often been said men become MORE attractive as they age (they start to look distinguished). Women, not so much...



The musician Sting is sort of a role model for me. He was one sexy guy in his younger years, but as an older man now, he's still got that sex appeal. That's how I want to age...

...eh, but I'm afraid I'm not answering the original question. Sorry. I'm just trying to say, do the BEST with what God has given you. I'm VERY masculine, for example, bald with a hairy body and a heavy beard. And to be honest, I HATE it. I would much rather have a full head of hair and just some light body hair, but that's not in the cards.

It's a pain, but I have to take personal grooming very seriously to "soften" my features so I don't look like some caveman.

Just do the best you can (within reason) and accept the rest.
Good luck.

[bariuke]

I understand about the hormone stuff. I'm past that. When I was first going through my self-discovery of myself as gay, my mind was going crazy, and I thought for a time I wanted to be transgender, but I later realized (though lots of thinking, talking to people, and counseling) that I was just gender queer (very much so) and messing with hormones and whatnot would probably end in regret.

So no on the hormones, but I'd still like to know how to make myself look more feminine. Maybe I should check out some drag resources for some tips.

[Crs30]

I haven't looked into the effectiveness or cost, but laser hair removal might be what you're looking for. I think it takes a series of treatments, but upon completion, you don't grow hair in the treated areas anymore. You could also look at other shaving options like Nair or other instant hair removal products.

Another way you can soften your features (if I'm understanding you correctly), you could try manicures and pedicures. You could also get your eyebrows done, or if you really want to wear some sort of makeup, maybe you can try eyeliner of some sort. Just experiment with it. Another thing that may help is wearing softer, lighter colors. Go to google images and look up "light pastel colors," you'll find the colors I'm talking about. Check to see how these clothes look with your skin though. If your skin is very light, you may not want very light clothing. You can try clothes with more vivid colors, or if you don't get sunburned, maybe you can try tanning.

I'm just giving you a bunch of ideas, and they are mostly focused on external appearance. Don't get too wrapped up in your appearance though, just be yourself. You are a unique, wonderful person all on your own, regardless of what clothes you wear. Let your appearance reflect who you are, don't become so focused on your appearance that it consumes you. That's all

[pellaz]

"I'm looking for a way to soften my features."

might be difficult to do... clinically possible?
because a ladies body fat is more distributed over her entire body, thus the soft features.

[bariuke]

"I'm looking for a way to soften my features."

might be difficult to do... clinically possible?
because a ladies body fat is more distributed over her entire body, thus the soft features.

I'm thinking more about the face. I know that I can't do much with my body.