ive attracted straight friends?!
09-21-2011, 03:06 AM
I really don’t know what to call this post its very long, but I guess I just need some advice about what to do in this situation happens again or just get your input about it altogether. I don’t know if this sort of thing happens all of the time or is it something Im causing or what. I just really don’t know what to think about it good or bad….
I have two really good friends, both are named Josh. For keeping things easy to understand, I am just going to call them Josh One, and Josh Two. I am in my mid 20’s, both Josh’s are around the same age as myself. Josh one is my Best Friend, and Josh two, is a little bit of a newer friend but also they are both co-workers. Josh two works with me side by side day by day, Josh one works at the same place but I only see him in the morning and the afternoon for a few minutes.
I am out of the closet to both of them and both of them are pretty straight. Josh one has been with the same girl, living together and all, for quite some time, at least a couple years, Josh two has an ex and a kid, and a newer girl that hes been with since shortly after break up with ex.
I have to admit that I have had shortly after meeting Josh two, I developed a man crush on him, I thought he was straight and because we work so closely together I didn’t really try to pursue anything beyond friendship with him. At the time he was still with his girlfriend, and son’s mother. I just never really said anything about it at all. Having gone with him and other friends drinking and hanging out we became pretty good friends. I did tell him I was bi and he seemed to be fine with it while reassuring me of the fact that he was straight.
One night, on the farm (family's farm) Josh two was over hanging out for the weekend, riding quads, working on the tractor in the shop and so on. I think it was a Saturday night that we decided to start a bonfire and tip back a few beers. We ended up driving, about a mile a way, to get something from my shop around midnight. (just fyi, on the same land, not on public roads, I don’t drink and drive) There were other friends of ours at my house near the bonfire and we were to be returning with whatever we went to grab, shortly thereafter. On the way back he started asking questions about my bi sexuality and hinting that he was curious about it. After beating around the bush he finally told me that he just wanted to experiment a little and have some fun… I didn’t really know how to take it but being slightly drunk, I said alright and just went down on him, he seemed to be into it and did the same to me without much hesitation, if any hesitation at all, we ended up going through the motions so speak and wow, it rocked to be honest, after catching our breath, we realized that we had been gone a little longer than planned and said to each other that we had better get back.
The weekend went on with out a hitch, and we both kinda acted like nothing happened and he hung out the rest of the weekend. Monday we were kinda quiet towards each other but over the course of a few days, back to normal friends no big deal kinda thing. Ater a couple weeks I mentioned that I was curious about what he thought, not really about the experience but about his own sexuality, and he again made it pretty clear that he was straight, to this day, we are both pretty good friends, wes still work well together, and hang out often.
Now my best friend Josh, Josh one. He and I have been best buds for a few years now and he and I get along great and hang out almost every weekend and see each other every day, we carpool and all. So about six months ago we are hiking around in the woods, and I hinted that I wanted to tell him something and I wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t think anything different of me if I told him. Being my best friend he said I had nothing to worry about.
I was hinting about coming out of the closet to him. I knew that his views on the gay community were not even close to mine and so I was worried about rejection from him. Honestly. I ended up telling him and he was ok with it, said it was kinda weird and he had no idea I was bi, but because he was my best friend he would have no problem with it but to keep it kinda to myself while I was around him because he would be uncomfortable with it being a very straight person… Ok I guess, in my head I accepted it and figured the more time that went on he would become more comfortable with it….
I don’t have a crush on Josh one and he is my best friend so I never even thought of doing anything with him or anything like that, he is attractive though…
Well we were camping and fishing at the pond over the weekend just like we have done a lot this summer, late night fishing and a few beers around a camp fire. Nothing abnormal for us. He decides that he wants to go for a ride on the quads and because the fish quit biting a while ago, I agree. We get to this one spot where we have a few jumps and stuff and he shuts off his quad, and I hear him about twenty yards away yell for me, hey come here a sec, I ride to where he is at and shut my quad off too. Out of the blue he just asks, “what’s it like to be you?’ I asked him what he meant, I being somewhat confused about why he would ask that. He said. ‘ You know, about being bi, whats it like?†I explained what came to my mind the best I could not graphically or anything but just said, its normal for me to be attracted to both sexes. That, its been like that forever, I don’t know much different. He says, “Well, I have never been with a guy so I wouldn’t understand bu,t I want to try it with you, right here, now.†I was shocked!!! As far as previously knew about Josh one, this is the last thing that I would have expected to hear from him! I said ok, but there needs to be ground rules, you know like , you’re my best friend and I don’t want that to change, we don’t talk about it till you want to, and I don’t want out relationship to get weird or anything, you want to try it, I want to help, so no big deal. “Ok? “I ask him. He agrees and tries everything both bottom and top, oral, everything. As soon as we are done messing around with each other and get our clothes back on, he said he feels gross and weird and never wants to try that again, I felt badly and told him no big deal now you know, in many more words, and we promise to not talk about or tell anyone. (I hope this isn't breaking my promise we don't know anyone here in person and Im pretty sure he's not a member of GS)
After that Saturday night, breakfast on the fire and everyone packs their tents and goes home, pretty normal after a two night camp, we all have to work the next day of course. Monday carpool with Josh one, our usual good mornings, but silence for the most part. Day two (today) crack a few jokes, and then after work today on the ride home he seems ok. Almost fine.
What do you all think about this, I didn’t try to get anything sexual out of them, they both claim to be straight, but its odd to me. I feel fine about both situations, I am confortable with who I am and confortable remaining friends, good friends with both of the josh’s and just don’t know what to really think though. Should I say yes to all my friends who what to experiment as long as I trust them and I am single, or say no, because even though I care very much about their feelings and don’t want to loose any friends, it doesn't really bother me. (I don't know really how to put that in words) I don’t believe that I lead any of them along or tried to seduce them, but just I am open with it and it does not affect me like it did them, especially Josh one. I am not really worried that I will loose Josh one as my best friend. I realize that they must trust me a lot too to even ask such a thing of me. Not only because of trust in the friendships but also being both their first time, and knowing it wasn't my first time. (I am pretty much positive it was Josh one's first time, not so sure about Josh two) Time has showed that Josh two and I are just fine as good of friends as we were before, and I hope to expect the same outcome for Josh one and I...
I guess just send me your thoughts. Thanks everyone for reading this long post but I usually talk my Josh friends about this sort of thing, but it involves them you know. They both also requested it be kept a secret...
Thanks again and I hope to get some feedback!
I have two really good friends, both are named Josh. For keeping things easy to understand, I am just going to call them Josh One, and Josh Two. I am in my mid 20’s, both Josh’s are around the same age as myself. Josh one is my Best Friend, and Josh two, is a little bit of a newer friend but also they are both co-workers. Josh two works with me side by side day by day, Josh one works at the same place but I only see him in the morning and the afternoon for a few minutes.
I am out of the closet to both of them and both of them are pretty straight. Josh one has been with the same girl, living together and all, for quite some time, at least a couple years, Josh two has an ex and a kid, and a newer girl that hes been with since shortly after break up with ex.
I have to admit that I have had shortly after meeting Josh two, I developed a man crush on him, I thought he was straight and because we work so closely together I didn’t really try to pursue anything beyond friendship with him. At the time he was still with his girlfriend, and son’s mother. I just never really said anything about it at all. Having gone with him and other friends drinking and hanging out we became pretty good friends. I did tell him I was bi and he seemed to be fine with it while reassuring me of the fact that he was straight.
One night, on the farm (family's farm) Josh two was over hanging out for the weekend, riding quads, working on the tractor in the shop and so on. I think it was a Saturday night that we decided to start a bonfire and tip back a few beers. We ended up driving, about a mile a way, to get something from my shop around midnight. (just fyi, on the same land, not on public roads, I don’t drink and drive) There were other friends of ours at my house near the bonfire and we were to be returning with whatever we went to grab, shortly thereafter. On the way back he started asking questions about my bi sexuality and hinting that he was curious about it. After beating around the bush he finally told me that he just wanted to experiment a little and have some fun… I didn’t really know how to take it but being slightly drunk, I said alright and just went down on him, he seemed to be into it and did the same to me without much hesitation, if any hesitation at all, we ended up going through the motions so speak and wow, it rocked to be honest, after catching our breath, we realized that we had been gone a little longer than planned and said to each other that we had better get back.
The weekend went on with out a hitch, and we both kinda acted like nothing happened and he hung out the rest of the weekend. Monday we were kinda quiet towards each other but over the course of a few days, back to normal friends no big deal kinda thing. Ater a couple weeks I mentioned that I was curious about what he thought, not really about the experience but about his own sexuality, and he again made it pretty clear that he was straight, to this day, we are both pretty good friends, wes still work well together, and hang out often.
Now my best friend Josh, Josh one. He and I have been best buds for a few years now and he and I get along great and hang out almost every weekend and see each other every day, we carpool and all. So about six months ago we are hiking around in the woods, and I hinted that I wanted to tell him something and I wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t think anything different of me if I told him. Being my best friend he said I had nothing to worry about.
I was hinting about coming out of the closet to him. I knew that his views on the gay community were not even close to mine and so I was worried about rejection from him. Honestly. I ended up telling him and he was ok with it, said it was kinda weird and he had no idea I was bi, but because he was my best friend he would have no problem with it but to keep it kinda to myself while I was around him because he would be uncomfortable with it being a very straight person… Ok I guess, in my head I accepted it and figured the more time that went on he would become more comfortable with it….
I don’t have a crush on Josh one and he is my best friend so I never even thought of doing anything with him or anything like that, he is attractive though…
Well we were camping and fishing at the pond over the weekend just like we have done a lot this summer, late night fishing and a few beers around a camp fire. Nothing abnormal for us. He decides that he wants to go for a ride on the quads and because the fish quit biting a while ago, I agree. We get to this one spot where we have a few jumps and stuff and he shuts off his quad, and I hear him about twenty yards away yell for me, hey come here a sec, I ride to where he is at and shut my quad off too. Out of the blue he just asks, “what’s it like to be you?’ I asked him what he meant, I being somewhat confused about why he would ask that. He said. ‘ You know, about being bi, whats it like?†I explained what came to my mind the best I could not graphically or anything but just said, its normal for me to be attracted to both sexes. That, its been like that forever, I don’t know much different. He says, “Well, I have never been with a guy so I wouldn’t understand bu,t I want to try it with you, right here, now.†I was shocked!!! As far as previously knew about Josh one, this is the last thing that I would have expected to hear from him! I said ok, but there needs to be ground rules, you know like , you’re my best friend and I don’t want that to change, we don’t talk about it till you want to, and I don’t want out relationship to get weird or anything, you want to try it, I want to help, so no big deal. “Ok? “I ask him. He agrees and tries everything both bottom and top, oral, everything. As soon as we are done messing around with each other and get our clothes back on, he said he feels gross and weird and never wants to try that again, I felt badly and told him no big deal now you know, in many more words, and we promise to not talk about or tell anyone. (I hope this isn't breaking my promise we don't know anyone here in person and Im pretty sure he's not a member of GS)
After that Saturday night, breakfast on the fire and everyone packs their tents and goes home, pretty normal after a two night camp, we all have to work the next day of course. Monday carpool with Josh one, our usual good mornings, but silence for the most part. Day two (today) crack a few jokes, and then after work today on the ride home he seems ok. Almost fine.
What do you all think about this, I didn’t try to get anything sexual out of them, they both claim to be straight, but its odd to me. I feel fine about both situations, I am confortable with who I am and confortable remaining friends, good friends with both of the josh’s and just don’t know what to really think though. Should I say yes to all my friends who what to experiment as long as I trust them and I am single, or say no, because even though I care very much about their feelings and don’t want to loose any friends, it doesn't really bother me. (I don't know really how to put that in words) I don’t believe that I lead any of them along or tried to seduce them, but just I am open with it and it does not affect me like it did them, especially Josh one. I am not really worried that I will loose Josh one as my best friend. I realize that they must trust me a lot too to even ask such a thing of me. Not only because of trust in the friendships but also being both their first time, and knowing it wasn't my first time. (I am pretty much positive it was Josh one's first time, not so sure about Josh two) Time has showed that Josh two and I are just fine as good of friends as we were before, and I hope to expect the same outcome for Josh one and I...
I guess just send me your thoughts. Thanks everyone for reading this long post but I usually talk my Josh friends about this sort of thing, but it involves them you know. They both also requested it be kept a secret...
Thanks again and I hope to get some feedback!
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