More hope...

[XRIMO]

So after all the fighting over DADT, this shows what the reward is. Can you believe this is what so many people fight against? Hopefully things continue to get better.

[princealbertofb]

Thanks for this, Doug...mile:. No one should have to go through their lives with this much fear of rejection... no one!

[Wolf]

No. No one should, and that's just what I go through now. But you know, after seeing this, and seeing a It Gets Better video in my school's GSA, I think it's finally time to break down the closet door and tell my own parents about me.

No, i do not understand at all why people would defend DADT or any anti-lgbt thing. People need to get a clue and get educated on love and acceptance.

[princealbertofb]

Wolf, I agree with you whole-heartedly. You have my support for telling your parents, and if you feel ready, now's as good a time as any. You won't regret it, ultimately. You aren't going to live with your parents your whole life anyway, are you?

[Drew]

Thanks for posting this! Very brave young man. I still haven't come out to my parents.....sad but true (is it pathetic past a certain age?). It feels like everyone knows (my friends, my boss, even my bass teacher) except my family. I thought I'd wait until I found a reason to tell them (i.e. a boyfriend), but who the hell knows if and when that'll happen. But I keep seeing these brave men and women coming out, and it gives me strength to do it. It won't be easy, as they are in their late 60's and born from behind the Iron Curtain of Eastern Europe. But stuff like this gives me strength to do the right thing.

[princealbertofb]

Thanks for posting this! Very brave young man. I still haven't come out to my parents.....sad but true (is it pathetic past a certain age?). It feels like everyone knows (my friends, my boss, even my bass teacher) except my family. I thought I'd wait until I found a reason to tell them (i.e. a boyfriend), but who the hell knows if and when that'll happen. But I keep seeing these brave men and women coming out, and it gives me strength to do it. It won't be easy, as they are in their late 60's and born from behind the Iron Curtain of Eastern Europe. But stuff like this gives me strength to do the right thing.

Drew, good luck with this. No it is not pathetic to come out after 30 and it's just going to be more difficult as the years go by. Trust me, I know. I didn't come out to my mother until I was 45 or so... and even then she accepted it quite well. We are always worried we'll lose our parents' trust or love if we tell them. But maybe we should trust them to wish for our happiness. If your happiness means finding the suitable man, it will be better for you to tell them. I also waited until I had a reason to tell, and then it became apparent that I just couldn't keep it hidden any more if I wanted to be honest to myself, honest with my parents and truthful to my partner. I don't regret it, even if I did shed some tears over writing to my mother.
You know, you can write to them to let them know, rather than phone or tell them face to face. It gives people time to take it all in and not react rashly, I believe. My mother called me back after reading my e-mail and left a message on my answerphone. Did I think she was born of the last rain?, she asked...
My mother died this year, and I'm glad she was able to witness me being happy with my partner (she liked him a lot) for a few years before she passed away.
As I said, good luck. By the way, nice pics, Drew. Saw your profile. You need to find yourself a nice man.

[Drew]

Drew, good luck with this. No it is not pathetic to come out after 30 and it's just going to be more difficult as the years go by. Trust me, I know. I didn't come out to my mother until I was 45 or so... and even then she accepted it quite well. We are always worried we'll lose our parents' trust or love if we tell them. But maybe we should trust them to wish for our happiness. If your happiness means finding the suitable man, it will be better for you to tell them. I also waited until I had a reason to tell, and then it became apparent that I just couldn't keep it hidden any more if I wanted to be honest to myself, honest with my parents and truthful to my partner. I don't regret it, even if I did shed some tears over writing to my mother.
You know, you can write to them to let them know, rather than phone or tell them face to face. It gives people time to take it all in and not react rashly, I believe. My mother called me back after reading my e-mail and left a message on my answerphone. Did I think she was born of the last rain?, she asked...
My mother died this year, and I'm glad she was able to witness me being happy with my partner (she liked him a lot) for a few years before she passed away.
As I said, good luck. By the way, nice pics, Drew. Saw your profile. You need to find yourself a nice man.

Thank you for the kind words. Actually, I was planning to write them. Unfortunately, they're the kind of parents that have a tendency to "butt-in" while trying to explain something; I strongly feel they'll be more receptive to everything I have to say via letter form.

And thanks, I've been trying to find a good guy for a LOOOONNNGGG time. I think I might be a bit picky, but seriously, I have the most rotten luck with men and dating. I won't give up but it's hard....kinda jealous of other folks who seem to find long-term relationships so easily. Spreading the word: anyone know any cute gay single guys in southern CT in their mid-20's to mid 30's? LOL

[LateBloomer]

Thanks for posting this! Very brave young man. I still haven't come out to my parents.....sad but true (is it pathetic past a certain age?). It feels like everyone knows (my friends, my boss, even my bass teacher) except my family. I thought I'd wait until I found a reason to tell them (i.e. a boyfriend), but who the hell knows if and when that'll happen. But I keep seeing these brave men and women coming out, and it gives me strength to do it. It won't be easy, as they are in their late 60's and born from behind the Iron Curtain of Eastern Europe. But stuff like this gives me strength to do the right thing.

I'm basically closeted, but I did tell my parents about my interest in men LONG before I ever took any action in that direction. I simply didn't date (men or women) and I was in my early 30s at the time, never had a partner of any sort and they just "wondered", so I explained it to them (a little).

But here's the thing, as I see it. Coming out has different "facets". I CHOOSE to stay in the closet because basically I'm very private by nature. Quite simply, it's nobody's business. And I want that respected.

But that's my public face. My parents know my private face. And therefore sharing this piece of myself with them is really an act of intimacy--because they CARE! And I care about them.

Publicly, at work, or elsewhere, people don't really care and I don't care for them. So I choose to be private.

Just my random thoughts. But you seem like a thoughtful young man and I'm sure your parents recognize that in you.

Good luck.

[Drew]

Thanks, PA and LB (I thought I had posted a reply but it's not showing up? Apologies if it does and this becomes a bit of a double post). I most likely will do it via a letter of some sort; they're the kind of parents who "butt-in" before being allowed to fully express yourself so the best way for them to get my whole point of view is through the written word.

And believe me, I'm trying to find a good guy, PA! I'm kinda jealous of those who find and maintain relationships so easily......I think I might be a bit picky but I just seem to have rotten luck finding men for long-term relationships. Anyone know any single guys in their mid-20's to mid-30's in southern CT? LOL! Spread the word.

[princealbertofb]

My once-upon-a-time girlfriend has a brother who is gay and lives in Connecticut but he'd be about 50 these days, too old for you...and I hear he's still a workaholic... so...