No anal sex anymore?

[edkrfv]

Hello everyone!

My best friend started his sexual life 6 years ago. He told me he had anal sex without using condoms or lube. He used saliva instead of lube, and according to him, everything was ok. Few months later he got constipated but tried to get penetrated and that made things worse. I remember I took him to a clinic for investigation and the doctor told him that the constipation kinda ~bother~ some small veins from inside the anus. He was advised to take hot baths and use some unguent, and after few weeks he was ok. He did not tried to get penetrated ever since... but recently he tried that again, and told that he could not be penetrated because he felt pains. He used lube and condoms but did not had any effect. He said he used a lube and an anal spray for relaxing muscles and with anesthesyc, and get dilated very little. The pain was coming from inside, after his mate tried to push more after his d**k head entered.

He is very worried and asked me to write his problem (he's not into PC, lol) maybe someone can help him. I read here about but pluggs(?). Is his only chance a fisting gel to get dilated?

Thank you.

[marshlander]

I'm responding because no one else has, but I cannot give you advice on your friend's situation. If he is experiencing pain and is worried about his health he really should refer to a doctor. We do have one or two medical professionals on here, but I haven't seen them around for some time.

Do you have an online medical resource in your country where you can write to a forum and be answered by a doctor?

[edkrfv]

I tried once, but it was kinda dissapointing.
Thank you for the answer. The question remains open.

[Drew]

Does it hurt when he defecates? If so, is there any blood visible when he does? If there is, he should probably go to a doctor and get that checked - there might be an obstruction/polyps somewhere that need to be removed.

It could also be a psychological thing - he can try to use small plugs or his own fingers (with lube) while alone and build his way back up, and then try these things with a partner. And if everything is good that way, then gently try anal again. It might take time if this is the case, but I'm sure he'll be happier working it out slowly.

Good luck to him!

[Sil]

Sorry to spoil the fun, but I really wouldn't be considering anything like that until the pain and irritation had dispersed. A doctor's opinion would be invaluable as this sounds like something that will not be healed by 'dilating' but giving time to let the muscles and tissue repair themselves.

Regardless of what you try or use, there's damage there that needs to heal >.<

[LateBloomer]

I agree he should certainly consult a medical professional but my first thought is hemorrhoids (forgive the American spelling, it's correct here!).

Forcing oneself to have a bowel movement while suffering from constipation can produce hemorrhoids and I suspect anal sex would probably aggravate that condition.

Good luck, keep us posted.

[zeon]

Hello there,
I would personally advise him to only be fingered by his mate as its usually not as thick as a penis... The problem with gay sex is many people think time to get clothes off and shag and forget the foreplay in the middle where they need to expand the horizon and allow his muscles to naturally relax... Furthermore it may be wise to allow this to heal completely.. The problem with the anus is the tissues are so delicate that you can rip one just having a dump so imagen what a penis will do with it.... Bit like a train doing the wrong way through a one way tunnel lol... Plenty of time for a shag and if his active get him to give it instead of receiving it that way he can get pleasure as well

Kindest regards

zeon x

[OrphanPip]

A doctor should always be your first recourse for medical advise. A colonoscopy might be called for to determine if their is something more serious than a haemorrhoid. The description of what the doctor said sounds like a haemorrhoid. A break from anal sex until he knows what is wrong is probably not a bad idea.

I would recommend against using anything that numbs sensation, that can put you at risk of serious injury without realizing.

So, I'll reiterate what others have been saying. I don't know what resources you have in Romania, but some large cities here have health resources that cater to gay men.

[edkrfv]

”Thank you for your kind answers” Those were my friend's words.
He said when he plays with himself, he can finger without having pains.
He even stuck few times a thin dildo.
Indeed, his mate's d**k is thick, but they did a lot of foreplay.

He said he will go to a clinic for investigations, but he asked - and asked me to write that you do not laugh - what he would say there (Romanian policy regarding gays...) ?

He insisted to ask you if a fisting lube will help him get dilated in order for him to have anal sex.
Thank you again.