First date - and knowing I'm not the best looking guy

[BellyNel]

I am feeling lonely. I'm not out to the world except for coworkers. People suspect.

Long story short. I know I'm not the best looking guy out there. I don't dare ask coworkers to hook me up since... well, it's gonna be awkward.

But I'm not a horrible person. Honestly I'm not! I'm chatty once I get to know you. I would have no idea where to go on our first date, but open to ideas.

How do I go about finding that FIRST guy to date? One who will accept me appearances first? I'm honestly SCARED to date.

Advice for a VERY VERY first timer?

[BinarySurfer]

I have recently learned to avoid the movie theatre as a first date because it always seems to end up with your hand on their croch. And grindr is not the best place to look for a date, lol

[BellyNel]

Aw - no movie theater? Fine... I was thinking about that. Getting groped in the dark... hm... tempting...

But thanks for the Grindr warning. I was tempted to download it on to my Blackberry, but read the horrible reviews of it. I was honestly going to use it to look for guys to TALK to, not hook up with.

I guess the best way to find a date is to look for one in person.

[BinarySurfer]

Grindr is appropriately named. That is its sole purpose it to hook up. I've tried sever guys who say they want more than sex, or just friends, or they're looking for a relationship... BS!
Yeah I thought the movies was a good ole' fashioned place to start... maybe in the 1920's lol

[OrphanPip]

The movies aren't a bad choice if you already know the person. I'd say the best is somewhere you can talk easily, like lunch or coffee.

[azulai]

Possibly find some local LGBT groups that share your own personal interests, like maybe hiking or biking. I personally think it's best to try to establish friendships and let things develop naturally getting to know the other person.

Date ideas or just getting to know someone: try walks in the park so that you can talk, biking to a lake/picnics, museums, and miniature golf.

Take things slow, smile and be yourself.

Best wishes!mile:

[trywait]

go out to coffee. if there's a connection, more than likely, there will be a follow-up date.

[Almac]

To be honest I've always met up in a McDonald's, on a early afternoon, it's safe and you can chat to your heart's content with your date.

[Rainbowmum]

I would go forCoffee in a public place .
That you can relax as you get to know each other.

[gilhooly]

I have often thought that love and friendship come to people when they feel very vulnerable. Maybe the first day of school, first day in the military, first day in a hospital. We seem very open to bonding when we feel a little scared like when we are on our first date. BellyNel you sound ripe for the picking.

I met the love of my life, Tom on 6/21/68. Vulnerable didn't describe us. We were scared shitless. We had both started that morning at a very large CPA firm on Wall St. Tom and I both knew we were outsiders and outclassed by the 30 or so other guys that started that week. We had been hired by the national firm in Chicago in an attempt to show the firms commitment to equality. We had been hired as 2 white token gentiles in an ocean of very rich Jews. All the Jewish guys fathers were all extremely rich and powerful Jews. Everybody's father seemed to be a partner in another large Jewish firm on Wall St. Tom and I wore cheap suits from Barney's, they got their clothes custom made. We eyed each other all morning and we said at the same time--Let's go to lunch. Tom and I laughed out loud that we said it simultaneously. We both knew Jew guys were complainers. At lunch I said --I feel sorry for that guy who got only $80,000 for his bar mitzvah. Tom said---the guy who complained about getting a jaguar was funnier. The idea that wealthy Jews would sound like the victims of the holocaust struck us as funny. Tom did something he would do to the day he died-he started doing impressions of very rich Jews. I almost peed on myself at that lunch as he did impressions of every Jewish guy we had met that morning. I ended the lunch by telling Tom to not act like that when we got back. He didn't. He became a quiet human being again. Everyone thought he was polite except me.. By 5 we both decided to go to dinner. At dinner he did impressions of small town people in Iowa and what they considered to be important. Again I laughed at his impressions of all the local yokels in the small town in Iowa where he grew up. He would pretend to be several people talking politics in Iowa. I said the people of Iowa can't be that stupid. He said they were as stupid as New Yorkers. He did cab drivers, the waitress at lunch. who called him honey buns. I laughed so hard at his impressions he asked me to stay over. I thought quite possibly Tom was insane I had never seen anyone who could change his personality as quickly as Tom. Since I am still in love with him 43 years later I guess he made quite an impression.
BellyNel, every time I saw Tom I couldn't remember anything. So we never had a date. We just started to hang out together. Besides he was a heterosexual who was engaged to be married when I met him, I never asked him a thing about being straight and he wasn't curious about homosexuality. Neither of us had ever seen a gay porn movie so we played games with each other, Our favorite game soon became male orgasm. Which of us could make the other scream louder during orgasm. He almost always won but I sure did my best to give him good orgasms. I was not very well hung so he liked anal intercourse best and I was always ready to try anything. Tom pretended to be a Nascar driver. At 100mph on an interstate he drove with his left hand and jerked me off with his right. I didn't know if I would die in a massive accident or ejaculate, Tom believed that no one gave a damn when they saw to normal looking guys fucking. He constantly escalated. He wanted me to fuck him in very public places. He wanted us to be seen. fucking by strangers. Guys I often took vacation from Tom just because I couldn't supply all the orgasms he wanted.
I had an utterly insane relationship with a strange guy named Tom. I felt like I was in a James Bond movie with hard core gay porn thrown in. Since he was straight and I was gay he insisted I do all the hard work, Guys I fucked Tom for hours to please him. Some times I was exhausted and lost my erection. He would become Elmer Fudd. You lost your erection you Wascally Wabbit, keep fucking me until I orgasm. I can't believe how boring gay porn is. It puts me to sleep. A short silent film and I always know the ending. Meanwhile I remember fucking Tom on a Brazilian military base. We were both pretending to be CIA agents. I was certain we'd be caught and shot by some homophobic Military officer, Guys, if you wantto get your heart sarted, try combining orgasm with a near death experience., I think straight guys make better lovers than gay guys. Particularly if the guy is so insanely brazen and will try anything to make orgasms better.
Fortunately Tom remained a bachelor. I never asked him a single question about his heterosexual feelings towards women. I just put Playboy to good advantage since the pictures always made him hard. Since I am the only man who ever had sex with him, I am the world's leading expert on Tom sex.
Hey BellyNel if you meet someone make a big deal about his orgasms. Good orgasms have a way of blotting out the bad stuff. You give me a choice between gay porn and my memories of Tom, Tomalways wins. And scary sex is definitely the best sex. Go for it, brother. And pay no attention to what is politically correct. It's the odd stuff about people we always remember. Correct is simply what it sounds like--boring bllshit. You see a guy you like, dump a box of paper clips in his lap. Then start picking them up one by one. He'll get the idea. If he gets angry just act sorry and say you are trying to clean him up. Crazy shit works. People always remember weird things. It is easy to act weird when you're scared. Take advantage of your total inexperience and ask some guy for HELP. Help is a magical word. Say that to a guy he immediately feels more confident. You make a guy feel more confident he will definitely start to llike you.. Try saying something stupidly inappropriate he will notice you. Be ordinary you are on thin ice. He will probably ignore you. You say you are no twink. Tell him that. He will suspect you are a truthful guy. Be exactly what you are and then slowly ham it up and find out if he has a sense of humor. Less is always better than too much. Keep everything simple and guys don't get confused. Tell him I like you and let your voice mumble a bit. The sounds of love are always gentle sounds. What I miss most about Tom is I coulld sit with Tom for hours without speaking. I miss crazy fights that only Tom and I knew about. Follow me. I still feel guilty putting butter in freezer. Tom always liked soft butter. Stare at a guy for awhile. Say--I really shouldn't say this---act nervous and say nothing--he wil go nuts wondering what you meant. You can say I am crazy but crazy shit works on guys. Deep down we all know we are assholes The sooner you establish your assholeness the better he will like you. He will start to trust you.
When this works as it always does send Andy the webmaster and tell him 50 came from gilhooly. Tell him gilhooly is an asshole. You do that for me I will probably fall in love with you. The entire world sucks because we are a trying to be politically correct. Read this out loud and listen for the beat. You hear it BellyNel
Love
John
PS Chatty is incredible. I would dronefor hours to Tom. It put him to sleep. Always assume God made you what you are for a reason A guy will describe you as mystical. You sound perfect. Go read your own thread you Thilly Goose.