Transgenders.

[ManicReptile21]

Alright, so i know this is a gay forum. but i know there are a few transgenders here SOMEWHERE. And i'd like to ask them to step out and inform me. Now where i live the only Transgender i have seen is a man dressed as a woman and sells flowers on the street corner. he quite popular- but i'm sure he has been jumped and harrassed. Now i never spoke to him (because he's pretty old), but i would like to know, if i should ever meet a transgender my age and decided to talk to him or her, what do i say? i am very uninformed about them and i would really like to know from a real life one. should i ever ask what gender he/she is? will i offend him.her? Should i even care? what questions might hurt? what questions will flatter? I just find it'd be very difficult to talk to them, espescially since all the ones i've seen on tv and real life are extremely outgoing.I'm only asking because if i should ever have the chance to befriend a transgender/sexual. i will want to know what NOT to say or do.

[dfiant]

Transgenders need to be spoken to like you would talk toy your mother, brother, friends etc. I guess one way to know how to refer to their gender is take a hint from their name or their appearance, or simply ask them what they prefer to be called. Some will tell you right up front. Ryan told me in his first message to me that he would like me to call him Ryan, so thats what I do ;-)

It's not as confusing and as scarey as you are thinking ;-)

[ManicReptile21]

well i wont treat them any differently lol, its more of a- i dont wanna be put in a position where i have to refer to him/her as an "IT" to another person. i will treat them like civilized beings. but when i make friends i like to snoop through their history. where they came from, how was their childhood, whats their favorite soda, have they ever had a GF or BF. things like that. i just dont want to offend him/her.

[dfiant]

Oh no no no...not 'it' that would be upset...far more upsetting than mistaking their gender

[ManicReptile21]

so how do i jump into that. should i just come out upright and ask- "Are you a male or female?"

[Pix]

I can answer one question: a MtF prefers to be called she/her and a FtM prefers to be called him/he.

Also, here's a webcomic I used to love (it starts off funny and then gets much more serious--and rarely even very disturbing) that was done by a MtF:

http://www.venusenvycomic.com/index.php?id=3

I linked to the beginning. It looks as though it's changed since I last saw it (years ago), and it takes awhile to get into the actual comics, but it can show you a lot about what it's like being MtF (and sometimes the author speaks directly to the reader rather than making a sometimes humorous story). Here, if the one liners and stick figure comics get to be too much then try starting here:

http://www.venusenvycomic.com/index.php?id=24

After it got more serious I really got into it. But it takes a long awhile before it gets serious. I really got to like the FtM Larson. Here's a summary of it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_Envy_%28webcomic%29

An interview with the author:

http://comixtalk.com/an_interview_with_v...nda_janiga

[dfiant]

no, if they look like a boy just say 'Hey mate' or something like that, they will then tell you if they don't like the 'male' tag and would prefer to be female or visa versa.

Trangenders would be used to dealing with this and as long as you are polite and non descending, they will politely correct you on your mistake.

I hope Ryan or Cody see this and confirm if I am right or correct me if I am wrong, their input would be great :-)

[OrphanPip]

Most transgender people simply adopt the pronouns of their gender identity. A few, genderqueers usually, use neutral pronouns (use they not it, it implies an object), or they use invented pronouns like ze, hir, or what have you.

[ManicReptile21]

ze is one of my favorite words except i have used it as a synonym for "the"

[Almac]

[COLOR="Navy"]I always think the best way to understand Transgenders is to go to their forums that way you will have a good understanding of them, and the way they think.

http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php

http://theangels.co.uk/
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