There is a girl that's come into my life (don't worry guys, NO blatant, or harsh heterosexuality going on here! lol :tongue  and although I've only just met her, she's taken on a pivital role in my life...her kindness, warmth, and energy are amazing to me, and I've never found anyone so strong, and so beautiful in all my life.....she's so amazing coming through all that she did.....I feel 'love' towards her, and not the friend kind...I want her to be happy, and with me.....I want to give her the world; if the world resting at her feet, would satisfy, then I so oblige in giving She inspires no hierarchical feelings in me whatsoever; she exist beside me, equal to me in all ways, she is a flame that burns the way I do, mirroring, and mimicking me to my fascination.
She makes me want to truly be all I can be for her! (That's a GREAT feeling by the way :biggrin She makes me feel like that "Knight in Shinning Armor" but she's no helpless damsel either! The thing is she's all these wonderful things, but I still like men....  but I do want to be with her, and remain close to her, or a girl like her....I REFUSE to be bisexual because I believe in MY heart, that I'm one or the other; but I digress....
How do NOT hurt her...? Her voice is so sweet, and angelic....Do I tell her? I don't want to loose that warmth now that I have it...but I can't lie to her either....I'm torn once again....
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Truth dude always the truth.
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dwatt Wrote:Truth dude always the truth.
The truth is convoluted when feelings are involved...the truth really somehow does become the feelings you experience....I'm really afraid that I'll loose her; I achieved what I never thought I could with her, or for that matter with a man, and it's actually very pleasing and we haven't had sex yet, but I'm very emotionally open to her, and I'm never open emotionally to anyone, sociable, affable, friendly, but not emotional....I don't get that way around guys (gay or straight) because I see that as a doorway for them to take advantage of me, so I keep these feelings under wraps.
With such discomfort with the possibility of being homosexual, how is it possible to win in this situation? I tell her the truth, I risk loosing what I wanted for so long, but to lie is to loose her anyway...some people perhaps are better off alone? :confused:
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well i had a silmilar situation except i didnt like the girl at all. she ended up falling in love with me, but we were really good friends and were there for eacvh other. So i did the best thing for her to show her i still cared deeply for her. I forced her to hate me so that she would never experiance the destruction of her soul when i had to tell her i was gay. hopefully she'll find another man soon and gets something better than what she felt for me-, and when she hears through the vine that i'm gay. hopefully she wont be destroyed. Alot of her friends hate me for abandoning her, but hey. better to save a friend than destroy her.
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She is the sweetest THING in my life...I have to say that I'm in love with her....when she hurts, I hurt, when I make her smile I feel like I'm on top of the world....Though I may have been physically interested in men, that MUST go as that is a threat to my happiness with her, and I WON'T allow that to pass. I want to be her Knight, and I want to help her see within herself what I see, and love about her....she has gone through SOOOO much, and I LOVE and ADMIRE her strength....she amazes me to the very bottom of my soul!
I suggested that we remain friends because she has a child with another man, and my feelings are ONLY getting deeper for her....I've sung to her, from the bottom of my heart; I'm not hiding behind her, or "attempting to be straight" but I have legitimate feelings for her...I've never had legitimate feelings for a male, just physical feelings probably because I doubt the validity of a relationship prospering to fruition between men, partially because I doubt I'm gay...I'm literally at a point in my life where I'll do ANYTHING to have her, to make her smile, to please her...she feels like she could be the mother of my children, and this is a feeling I can't articulate...this woman has something in her that "calls" to that part of me that wants to be her Knight...I want to share EVERY MOMENT WITH HER....
I couldn't be more confused lol
So to recap, I have physical feelings for men, and emotional ones for women....maybe I should date a tranny? lmao 
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Hey, I hear you out on this one. I've been there and had enormously powerful love for a girl during the time I spent on high school. It never worked out, and I was very angry to myself for the whole thing. I mean, I loved the girl so much but as I was and still am gay it just couldn't be done. I thought of killing myself for being such a drunken mistake that nature made in a serious monday hangover: gay who falls in love with women? What a joke, indeed.
But it all went away when I recognized myself as gay, and realized that by embracing that feature of me I could feel all the same emotions for another guy! It'll get easier.
But if you decide to chase her, at least be honest with her.
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Most people are bisexual to some degree. You seem to hate the idea of being gay, but are at least willing to discuss it here. I think that's positive, but perhaps you ought to question what it is about having gay feelings that makes you uncomfortable.
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ToddYoung Wrote:Most people are bisexual to some degree. You seem to hate the idea of being gay, but are at least willing to discuss it here. I think that's positive, but perhaps you ought to question what it is about having gay feelings that makes you uncomfortable.
I think that's fairly obvious Todd....lol :biggrin: It all bothers me....to be gay to me means to be emasculated; to rely on another man to bring YOU what you should have within yourself; It to me means (most importantly) to be picked over, and cheated out of the right to procreate by natural means...I have an INTENSE urge to bring children into the world so that they, in turn, may go out into the world and change it. To make the world safer, and more enjoyable for everyone brought into it; so that gay men, and women can have a place in society and not on the fringes! I'm WILLING to see that goal to the END no matter what it takes......Children are the seeds, and bearers of the future; that being said, can you ask me what bothers me about being gay, without having an idea already? That exact thing bothers me; being gay in the presence of my urge to procreate by natural means with a woman....This situation might've been easier had I had no urge to procreate, but that is what makes me believe that this is so UNBELIEVABLY unjust; life bears no promises, any gift however meager is precious.....I was given a girl that I have feelings for, and I WANT to open up to her about this, but I know things between us will unravel....
Call me selfish, call me a hypocrite, but being LOVE-starved, and LOVE-sick makes one desperate for these things....I care about her needs; more so than my own, but I DO STRONGLY BELIEVE that she and I can have a LONG and HAPPY life together.....so WHY was it that I turned out to be this way?! Where is the reason in this?! :mad:
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Guys I do WHOLE-HEARTEDLY agree that I should and MUST be honest with her....but I must say....this gay life is a VERY difficult one....one that I wouldn't wish on an ENEMY....(mainly because I could think of SOOO many other ways to twist them lol ) it seems to leave people feeling alone, isolated, and self-loathing....bitterness at this rate is inevitable.....HOW could I be asked to give up the ONE person in my life, who TRULY cares about me? I WILL NOT fall back into my families hold, and open myself up to them; they don't deserve it, and I have little trust/faith in them for that....so it's back to facing life alone....so be it.
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