People adopt (affectation) traits and behaviors of their social group in order to fit in.
Do you believe that every black man who speaks Ebonics is unable to say 'ask' over 'ax'? Or any of the other million affected (as in
affectation) traits every other group adopts. Jocks being jocks, cheer leaders being bitchy, etc. etc. etc. All are affectation to a large degree. Individuals trying so hard to 'fit in' with their group that they will do silly, stupid and even dangerous things to 'fit the mold'.
Affectation is good to a point, but if used long enough (which isn't that long in most cases) it can become 'you'.
EXAMPLE: If you adopt and use an affectation long enough it become part of your personality program. If you decided to replace 'now' with 'meow' when you talked, eventually (sooner than later) 'meow' would come to replace 'now' and be so ingrained into your behavior you would be hard pressed to break the habit.
Gays pretty much do this with 'gay stuff' they adopt the bitchy, jaded queen persona because it reflects 'gay culture' (the perception there of).
They adopt shallow tendencies, and soon enough come to believe in them and become shallow.
During the War of the 20th Century, when gays fought to go from being marginalized, hidden and criminals to being 'accepted' as part of society. The weapons we had were those preconceived myths that straight society had burdened us with for centuries if not more. Instead of taking up arms (guns), we took up our 'culture' and used it as a weapon.
After all no straight acting male who stands there in polite, socially acceptable attire is going to be noticed, and even if he held up a sign saying 'I'm gay and proud' most people wouldn't take him seriously.
Have that same guy dress gay, act gay and live up to the expectations that straight society has of gays... suddenly his message takes on a reality, and the people around him have to believe that yep this is really one of 'those people'.
Much of what straights have believed about homosexuals has been anything approaching flattering. They sowed the seeds of 'truth' that gays are unable to love, are bitchy, are femm, are sexually over active, are drunks and druggies, are flamboyant and lisping, are more concerned with fashion than farming, can't get a job in a factory, but know the 12 secret methods to straightening hair that hails from some mystical 'gene' that designs hair.
The good, the bad and the ugly were the tools that the Gay military had to use as ammo and weapon in the War.
We, the gays, adopted these affectations to fight our war, then as all affections eventually do, the affectation became 'hard wired' in our behavior.
So now, essentially, all of the gays say 'meow' when they mean 'now'.
There is really no easy way to undo the damage. Except for more gay men to not have fear of being outside of the 'scene' and act like men instead of act like what they think gay is.
OsirisGuy23 Wrote:This is really hard NOT to ballpark....so i'll just say it; Gay men, we've got to do better....we can be our own worst enemies sometimes....I've NEVER (except for save High School which might I say I'm GLAD AS HELL I made it out of Lol) expected the gay world to be so, self-absorbed, and sophmoric at the "shallow" end of the "Social Pool" and so at the deep end of the pool so "critical/Holier-than-Thou" and "arrogant"....I'm really baffled at these behaviors....WHY are gay men so motivated to break down what could potentially be an opportunity to learn more about ourselves, from each other? Each side is extremely removed and put off by the other....mind you this exists in the hetero world, but that's not really the topic of debate...the topic is discerning WHY this is present to the degree that it is in the gay community....It's as if I can't go a second without hearing someone rag on another guy for his gut, or his haircut, clothes....it REALLY blows....and in my opinion is a COMPLETE turn-off.....So guys why so bothered? Is seeking the "middle road" to this an impossibility...?
We've Gotta Do Better.....
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