/:

[ZombieSlayer]

Lately I've been super stressed. Problems at home, Bullies at school. Just so much going on.
Past couple of schooldays, i've missed because I'm sick and tired of going there just to be called an "It".
Most people are so ignorant. I keep trying to educate them but they just wont listen
I hate when they use phrases like "when you were a girl..." and then they talk to kids and talk about me and say "Cody use to be a girl.." and stuff like that. No one truely sees me as the boy i really am.
they either see me as a huge flaming lesbian, or an "It".

Then at home i have an unaccepting family that tries to ignore what i have to say and continues to see me as a girl and block out me trying to tell them i'm not.
also, my mom is running around like shes a teenager, leaving me at home, usually without food. then goes and does stuff with her boyfriend and her other son.
she neglects me and basicly just forgets im even alive.

My little brother is her favorite and she shows it.
the other day she went out and bought him and herself new shoes and didnt even ask me to go. She wont get me a winter coat because she "doesnt have any money" yet she can get her and my brother shoes, go to the movies with her boyfriend, go to a football game with her boyfriend, and just go out.

It's all about her, my brother and her boyfriend.

I think she favors my brother because he turned out "normal"...
he turned out basicly the way she wanted. She doesnt wanna deal with me because i'm the freak of the family... I didnt turn out how she wanted..
Jacobs already the lucky one because he got the body i shouldve got. He got the right parts. He doesnt have to go thru surgies and hormone treatment (which no one will help me get) just to be even close to how he should be.

Dont get me started on her boyfriends kids....
They are bible thumping christians.
everytime they see me they ask my mom if im half boy and all these ignorant rediculus questions.
i dont really get mad because theyre just little kids...but it makes me feel ashamed and embarressed. It just makes me feel like crap. I cant take this shit anymore.

sorry for the long rant... just venting.

[TwistedLove]

I am so sorry I know how you feel with the family thing, my family on my dads side keep trying to set me up on dates with guys, even though I constantly tell them I am a lesbian. you're FTM right? sorry I have no experience with that but sometime I feel like I should have been born a guy.

[ZombieSlayer]

Yes i am FtM.. and sorry /:

[Rawr]

Sorry to hear that your school and home life are a pain in the ass right now. But you just got to stay tough and fight it out. Were always here if you need someone to vent too or give a little advice here and there. I'm not the best at the sort of stuff... I can only say stay positive, today may be dark but tomorrow is a brighter day.

[TwistedLove]

Yes i am FtM.. and sorry /:

Don't be sorry shit happens life goes on insert other lame life quote here haha. I'm here for you if you need a friend

[chillythoughts]

toughen it out man. When I was in high school, I was bullied big time too just because I was gay so I kinda feel what your going through. keep your head high. Im sorry to hear about your mom though, thats just straight ignorant man. I mean I havent come out to my parents yet but they expect me to "date girls". But thats just not me. girls dont make me happy at all. I wish people would just accept people the way they are and not dishonor them. People are arrogant, still to this day, after myhigh school days I recieve hatred and hear a bunch of hatred towards gays and transgenders. Just be yourself.

[Bookworm]

Hey ZS, I'm sorry to hear you are still going through hell with school and family. Kids can be really mean unintentionally, they probably have no idea what's going on for you in your world so don't take their comments to heart. I know it hurts and everything seems hopeless sometimes but you can, and will, get through this stage in your life, and you will come out the other side a much stronger person for it. You've already proved it by coming to terms and embracing who you really are and what you want for yourself in this life. That's a huge achievement in itself for someone your age. Hang in there, and feel free to vent around here anytime to let off steam.
Have you searched for any support groups in your area that you could attend?

Take care

[Rainbowmum]

Oh my , this is so heart breaking .
I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time Z/S .
Please try to tough it out at school , as your future depends on it.
Don't let anyone treat you as second best , you are perfect just the way you are.
Sending you a huge mom hug.

[CellarDweller]

ZS, you are the way you are for a reason.

Everyone here on this forum may be different, but we have some of the same experiences.

The bullies will fade away at one point, mine did, and things will improve, I promise you that.

You need to do two things......first is hold your head up high, and never forget how special you are. The second, when you can, get yourself a job. Start squirreling away cash, so that you can take care of you, the way you should be taken care of.

[ZombieSlayer]

thanks everyone. It just gets so hard sometime. but i have talked to my mom today about letting me do online school, and she said she would look into it. i guess thats something to look forward to. maybe it will get a little better without public schools.